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well.. i'm sitting at the hospice center where they took my grandma, hospice is basically where they take you when it's your last few moments at life. You know i never really went to go see my grandma after she started to forget things and stuff bc i hated seeing her like this. I grew up in her houose, before we moved to mason that's where i lived. me my mom my dad and my sister all lived in that little 3 bedroom house with her. and i remember sitting in her rocking chair with her and playing with her wrinkles on her hand. And her trying to teach me how to sew. of course that never worked out. I didnt want to come today but i wanted to tell her that i was here and i wanted to say bye. bc since she has been really sick this last couple weeks my mom says she keeps asking about me.and that breaks my little heart. So i came today and she looks just like my aunt did who died a year ago. I dont want that image to be my last image of her. Bc the last image of my aunt is like that and i hate it. But I wanted to write this before I went in there by myself to talk to her and let her know that I am there even though she can't respond i want her to know her little christy is here and i want to tell her bye, bc i know i will regret it if i dont. |
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so lets see.. it's def. been awhile. Um summers finally here... just been hanging out with katie. I would sit here and go into full detail about all the shit thats been going on but it would be like freaking forever... but im really bored so i think i might. . . eehh nah.. i will put it in a nutshell.. basically me and franci aren't friends anymore she puts guys before anyone else in her life even her family which is pathetic especially when its a guy that treats her like shit. and yeahhhh i've been getting rid of the ppl that just weren't true friends so if your still around be honored bc that means your fuckin awesome (= i have like 67 days until college... i can't believe it. I'm really excited, but im nervous too. I mena i know everyone else is going away to college too but it's like is everything going to be the same when we come back for breaks and stuff? I mean i guess things will be a little different... but idk..i guess i can't hold onto all this forever right? =/ but i think i might just stay at kent for like a year and transfer to cincy state. bc kents really expensive bc id have to live on campus and stuff. so idk.. i mean dont get me wrong Kent has been like my dream to go there all year. and im totaly excited i got accepted!!! (= idk we will see... but i gues i just gotta live summer upppp (= |
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okay well i havent updated in a while. um this past weekend was katie's bday, i went out with her that night..stripclub?? ha interesting... and here lately i've been hanging out with Rob like everyday almost. He's like my other half. I absolutely love him, and i'm absolutely excited that he's going to PROM with me. It's going to be a fuckin blast and i'm gonna have the hottest date there ha sorry to everyone else! ;P yeah that's about it, i havent really done much, besides hang out with rob. |
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okay well here for the past couple days i've been really just depressed. there's just a lot flowing through my mind. college is soon, and I HAVE no idea how i'm going to afford it. I Keep putting off scholarships and it's really bad. I basically give up in school bc im just so done. I dont need any of my classes. I'm ready for it to be over with it. My Mom's really sick and I'm worried about her so of course that makes me sick bc i'm worried and stressed on top of that so i GET NO SLEEP which isnt healthy for me. I miss my sister being around , i mean sure she maade a few mistakes, okay maybe a lot, but she's still my sister and i love her no matter what, and i just miss her being around. and i hate the fact that she's so stupid. but she has a lot of problems so you know she's always on my mind wondering how she's even surviving. and then on top of that she's pregnant again which I've mentioned in earlier posts. and SHE CAN'T keep the baby bc of patrick he can't be around minors. So they are thinking about adoption... well it gets FUCKING better....... FRANCI'S sister wants to adopt it. uhg i mean at first it sounded good but i got to thinking about it here lately and I HATE IT. Bc one you know she'll take it to go see sarah and patrick but you know she'll have it call her mom so it's going to confuse the poor kid to death and hurt my sister (which i know she's stupid in the first place for getting knocked up but still..) and then she'll be calling Franci her AUNT and then when i see it i will want it to call me AUNT but i can't tell the kid like I'm really your aunt btw , that's just awful. UHG .. idk i guess it's confusing. I talked to rob about it today bc he has a brother who was adopted so that was like alot of help, and he completely understood how i felt, and it made sense to him and he understands why it would bother me. So i guess maybe i should try and explain it to franci. rob said he would be there with me if thats what i choose to do so that's good. Rob's coming to prom with me which i'm totally excited about, and it makes me happy. He makes me happy ! Too bad he's gay he's perfect! ;P but he's my bestfriend and i just know i can trust him with anything and i love him so prom should be a blast this year with him. advice..if you have it throw it my way.. thanks |
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so not much has happen lately. umm.. it's been beautiful the past couple days. I took Kayla for a walk yesterday, and today after school, KC came over and we had a play date with her and Zoey so that was good for Kayla. Ha we got the girls singing the song "GET SILLY" lol the cutest thing ever. (= and then I came home and got Kay in the stroller and picked up Tanner and Blake and took the kids for a walk, and came back and played outside with the kiddies then had a grill out with the neighbors. I'm so ready for this weekend... EEEEE Franci's bday is Thursday so going to the club and getting our noses pierced hell yeah bitches... |