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i can't go on like this...all he does is talk about marrying me. I DON'T FUCKING WANT THAT! I'm this close to just ending all ties with him but i can't he's so important to me to my life, b/c he keeps me going. IDK how to explain it he just gets me. He knows me better than I know myself sometimes I think. But i don't want marriage now. I have college on my mind. I really dont want to go into a serious relationship in college ONE: b/c it's college like what if i find someone else, i dont want to have to like call him adn be like hey i dont want you anymore ya know? I just can't go into a long distance relation ship knowing that I will be in a totally different place different people etc. Sure maybe after a while I could do it but not to start.... Plus i'm starting to have feelings for someone else who i've been talking to and hanging out with. and I'm all confused....my moms all like well just chose one but i really can't jordan makes me happy and i know he cares but with this someone else i get the butterflies everytime im with himm...aahhhhhh There's this song that like explains how I feel and I love it and I love the band *MADINA LAKE* go listen to them if you dont know them! She looked at me her eyes were watering Then i knew that this was about to end Frozen in that moment, Time was standing still I could feel my heart, Goodbye, She said Theres someone in this world for you So goodluck, She said I went and found somebody new And i gave you every waking moment I gave you everything you wanted And now, I know your giving me up She walked away and i could hardly breath Turn around and fell down to my knees I'm shivering as the truth is settling I'm sure tomorrow is nothing todo So before, You go Could you just leave me one more kiss? And i gave you every waking moment I gave you everything you wanted And now, I know your giving me up And i, Can't lie still When theres someone else beside you And i, Can cry still Cuz i'm all alone this time I gave you everything you wanted And now, I know your giving me up I remember when you were falling And i was their just holding onto you And i remember all those Scars i wear that you carved in me And i gave you every waking moment I gave you everything you wanted And now, I know your giving me up And i, Can't lie still When theres someone else beside you And i, Can cry still Cuz i'm all alone this time I gave you everything you wanted And now, I know your giving me up I know if i gave jordan up he would be thinking ^^ALL of that stuff^^ and it kills me |
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so it's official I'm a KSU student now class of 2012!!! (= so let me tell you how today went.. They had us take this testing thing...um and apparently since i only had 1 year of spanish in HS i had to take a spanish one... UM yeah ONE YEAR of spanish....EVERY QUESTION in that fucker was in SPANISH EVERY WORD was in spanish..I GUESSED on every one lol...it was horrible. anyway i got my classes schedule.. my earliest class is 11am..fridays i get done at 2pm and M-TH i get done at 410 so not too bad! (= I found out where I will be spending my life..my dorm room and ROOMMATE who i think i found on facebook? not sure yet waiting for her response.I got my I.D card ...mm so yeah I'm official! AUGUST 20th 2008 is when it all begins!! AAHHHHHH alot more went on...but i gues am too tired to explain (= |
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Christy remember to do these things this weekend::: |
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hhmm.. well i stayed home from school yesterday just for the hell of it (= & i just am so ready to be done with HS and start college...like it gets worse and worse everydayyyyyyyy!!!!!!!! *ahhh* anyway...this week is a should week because I have to miss friday too!! sweet I leave for KSU thursday after school...mmm i can't wait and me and my momma are staying at a hoteL and shopping around there for the day, then FRIDAY=KSU to schedule classes..omgsh i think it will hit me then that it's REAL! I'm so excited, i can't wait. I love it there, everytime i'm there i just get this sense of belonging, and i love the atmosphere. Everyone there is so nice, even the students you walk by them and they are all like Hey what's up. I'm just so ready for this. And I know i'm going to love every minute of it. Plus i need to get out on my own, and away from stresses at home. Even though I will miss home, but it's not like i can't come bakc and visit it's only 3 1/2 hours. ANd all my friends better come up and see me, and partyyyyyy!! ;P mmmm yeahh I'm excited i wish it was thursday |
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well friday i had to work 5-9 but i was sick and i ended up going home at like 730 and going to bed for the nightt. that was nice to just sleep and sleep, i felt a little better saturday morning, so i went to work...got sent home early again, so i took a showerr and Robrob came and got me and we met jenna and katie at the mall. [good times] (= and then we just all hung out yada yada...we had to take jenna home she had to work in the AM )= boo so me,kt and rob partied it up at my sisters. Rob had a little too much fun and left early he called his mom to pick him up? then it was good for a while then rye the Dbag he is called the ambulance and yeah so we all had to leave so we stayed in a hoteL...uhg yeah not feeling it i regret drinking. lol like always ohwell. me & katie woke up a little rough. and now we're just chillen. |