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well i worked tonight.. we were actually pretty busy for the icky weather we had. I work tomorrow morning 10-4 then after we're having a bday dinner thing for Kayla.. omgsh she's two years old already , my little niece / sister whatever you wanna call her, is growing up so fast. (= aaahhh so yeah my mom invited my sister and patrick to come too.. so we'll see how that goes. they are just uhg they piss me off when they're around kayla its like they don't even care... like oh yeah i gave birth to her ohwell.. uhg and i feel sorry for the kid thats on the way. GOD HELP HIM/HER!!! uhg ohwell i'm suppose to go see amy tomorrow.. so exciteddd then sunday i work 5-9 boo.. sundays are always my days off bc i help my mom ohwell. post laterr!  Kay Bear <3 i love her so much .. ha that's my BIRTH CONTROL ;P |
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well, jord called me last night. i talked to him about how i felt. he apologized for not understanding how i feel, and not taking that in to consideration. he said that he only hooked up with the other girl bc justin told him that we fucked. when we clearly didnt, when i went to hang out with him i think i talked about jord the whole time. and thank god jord believes me, bc i could never do that, plus his friend is like idk.. odd. so we talked some more. He understands now, hopefully he said he's going to try to work with me. but for right now we're just friends, we both decided that maybe it is best if we see what's out there and you know in the long run if we do realize we want to be together then we will, but right now we're friends. he said he'd always be around for me though, and that i'm the only one that will truely make him happy, well we will see how that goes. maybe it's true. But i don't want anything serious, i can't go into college with anything serious it's not fair to me or him. I still fucking love him to pieces, and i believe i always will. I love him and care about him so much, but right now i just have to put MYSELF first for once. and it's so hard for me to do that. but I know i wont regret it. I know we'll probably end up getting married, but not for awhille. I love him (= we're suppose to hang out today, i will update and tell you all how it goes. . this weekend = AMY for sure. !! aahhh so excitedd ha im like obsessed i can't stop looking at stuff about it.. mmmm so ecitedd well peace out |
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uhggg .. well jordan found a new girl.. apparently a fuck buddy basically. uhggg i mean i never said i didnt want to be with him , i just DONT want to marry him NOW!!!! sdkjfhsdkljfhsdljkfhsdjklfhasdjklfhsdjkl thats how i feel.... Oh baby I lied Got feelings for you I can’t hide So sad but it’s true I lost my mind when I lost you Don’t look at me that way It’s hard but I can’t let you stay We both know where it leads I have to let you go It’s over we both know And sorry won’t fix us this time Chorus: Words won’t help to Heal what hurts you I did what I had to do So don’t start crying I’ll start crying My hearts broken too Well God help me I’ve been blind You just can’t change a cheating kind We’ve been down this road before I have to let you go It’s over we both know And ‘I’m sorry’ won’t fix us this time Chorus Sometimes it seems I’d sleep for dreams When you were mine But with the sun The truth becomes So clear I can’t go back this time Fact - - > I need him Fact- - > He's everything Fact- - > I love him |
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well Valentines Day = sucked !! I ended up going with jord. uhgggg i get in the car and there were rose petals all over. yeah most ppl would be like OMGSH how can you turn him down.. well quite simple when all he wants to do is marry me. Sorry but I'm 18 years old i have my whole life to think about marriage. I'm not ready for that type of commitment, this is when you change the most in your life. uhggg.... so the whole dinner was him planning how he wanted to get married. PARTY FOUL!! hhmm.. ohwell so i havent really talked to him much lately. last night was "bowling" with kels and mandi but we ended up just going to P F CHANGS instead and eating dinner that was funn. today i sleppt a lot, and then i went out to dinner with franci.. & we drove all the way to "amy" but it started rainging and franci got all scared! lol... it's creepy out there actually. and we saw the SIGNS!! aahhhhhhhhhh & on the way there a freakin DEER runs out in front of the car..by that time we were like ummm.. WTF? AAHHHH ha so i think we're gonna go with more ppl sometime soon hopefully i really wanna go!! (= But it was nice finally hanging out with franci ... then we went to Culvers and had ourselves a sundae then came back here and played some guitar hero and DDR well update laterrr peaceee |
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well i was suppose to go to Abuelos tonight with jord, and idk if i really wanna go yet i haven't told him but i just want it to be good like it has been lately, but i have a feeling it'll be ruined by him bringing up our relationship. For one day i'd like ot just have an amazing night with him, just talking and not talking about relationship issues. bc it's great with him when he doesnt bring up marriage. . like seriously when he was 18 he wasn't thinking about that. when we first started dating it was good. we had funn ...where did that all go? |