okay well here for the past couple days i've been really just depressed. there's just a lot flowing through my mind. college is soon, and I HAVE no idea how i'm going to afford it. I Keep putting off scholarships and it's really bad. I basically give up in school bc im just so done. I dont need any of my classes. I'm ready for it to be over with it.
My Mom's really sick and I'm worried about her so of course that makes me sick bc i'm worried and stressed on top of that so i GET NO SLEEP which isnt healthy for me.
I miss my sister being around , i mean sure she maade a few mistakes, okay maybe a lot, but she's still my sister and i love her no matter what, and i just miss her being around. and i hate the fact that she's so stupid. but she has a lot of problems so you know she's always on my mind wondering how she's even surviving.
and then on top of that she's pregnant again which I've mentioned in earlier posts. and SHE CAN'T keep the baby bc of patrick he can't be around minors. So they are thinking about adoption... well it gets FUCKING better.......
FRANCI'S sister wants to adopt it. uhg i mean at first it sounded good but i got to thinking about it here lately and I HATE IT. Bc one you know she'll take it to go see sarah and patrick but you know she'll have it call her mom so it's going to confuse the poor kid to death and hurt my sister (which i know she's stupid in the first place for getting knocked up but still..) and then she'll be calling Franci her AUNT and then when i see it i will want it to call me AUNT but i can't tell the kid like I'm really your aunt btw , that's just awful. UHG .. idk i guess it's confusing.
I talked to rob about it today bc he has a brother who was adopted so that was like alot of help, and he completely understood how i felt, and it made sense to him and he understands why it would bother me. So i guess maybe i should try and explain it to franci. rob said he would be there with me if thats what i choose to do so that's good.
Rob's coming to prom with me which i'm totally excited about, and it makes me happy. He makes me happy ! Too bad he's gay he's perfect! ;P but he's my bestfriend and i just know i can trust him with anything and i love him so prom should be a blast this year with him.
advice..if you have it throw it my way.. thanks
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