valentines dayy **

well i was suppose to go to Abuelos tonight with jord, and idk if i really wanna go yet i haven't told him but i just want it to be good like it has been lately, but i have a feeling it'll be ruined by him bringing up our relationship. For one day i'd like ot just have an amazing night with him, just talking and not talking about relationship issues. bc it's great with him when he doesnt bring up marriage. . like seriously when he was 18 he wasn't thinking about that. when we first started dating it was good. we had funn ...where did that all go?
i guess i could call him, and talk to hm about it. i dont wanna start any more shit with him though. but maybe he'll understand? idk how he's still around though i've made so many mistakes..i guess he really truely does love me. i do however really wanan go to abuelos thats my favorite restaurant ... havent had it since my big 18th bday!!! (=

and then Justin (jord's friend) asked me to go hang out with him tonight.. i mean i like the kid dont get me wrong, he's amazing too, but i love jordan and i dont want to hurt him. maybe i should go out with justin to you know see what other guys are like instead of just jordan and thats exactly why i dont wanna marry him, but i can't do that to jord it's his bestfriend. 


i will update and let ya know how it goes laterrr <3


happy

valentines

day !!