| love or hate |
[10 Feb 2008|05:49pm] |
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i can't go on like this...all he does is talk about marrying me. I DON'T FUCKING WANT THAT! I'm this close to just ending all ties with him but i can't he's so important to me to my life, b/c he keeps me going. IDK how to explain it he just gets me. He knows me better than I know myself sometimes I think. But i don't want marriage now. I have college on my mind. I really dont want to go into a serious relationship in college ONE: b/c it's college like what if i find someone else, i dont want to have to like call him adn be like hey i dont want you anymore ya know? I just can't go into a long distance relation ship knowing that I will be in a totally different place different people etc. Sure maybe after a while I could do it but not to start....
Plus i'm starting to have feelings for someone else who i've been talking to and hanging out with. and I'm all confused....my moms all like well just chose one but i really can't jordan makes me happy and i know he cares but with this someone else i get the butterflies everytime im with himm...aahhhhhh
There's this song that like explains how I feel and I love it and I love the band *MADINA LAKE* go listen to them if you dont know them!
She looked at me her eyes were watering
Then i knew that this was about to end
Frozen in that moment, Time was standing still
I could feel my heart,
Goodbye, She said
Theres someone in this world for you
So goodluck, She said
I went and found somebody new
And i gave you every waking moment
I gave you everything you wanted
And now, I know your giving me up
She walked away and i could hardly breath
Turn around and fell down to my knees
I'm shivering as the truth is settling
I'm sure tomorrow is nothing todo
So before, You go
Could you just leave me one more kiss?
And i gave you every waking moment
I gave you everything you wanted
And now, I know your giving me up
And i, Can't lie still
When theres someone else beside you
And i, Can cry still
Cuz i'm all alone this time
I gave you everything you wanted
And now, I know your giving me up
I remember when you were falling
And i was their just holding onto you
And i remember all those
Scars i wear that you carved in me
And i gave you every waking moment
I gave you everything you wanted
And now, I know your giving me up
And i, Can't lie still
When theres someone else beside you
And i, Can cry still
Cuz i'm all alone this time
I gave you everything you wanted
And now, I know your giving me up
I know if i gave jordan up he would be thinking ^^ALL of that stuff^^ and it kills me
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