No virgin ears here

Happy Mother's Day

vulgarlips

5/11/09 03:58 pm

You know, it's too bad that I'm not pretty. One of those drop dead gorgeous girls that everyone stares at as she walks away. Maybe then I'd have had a half-way decent Mother's Day. Maybe I should drop 30 pounds (I'm 5'5" and 145-150, depending). I need a nose job (it's huge) someone to wax me whenever I need it (eyebrows and legs etc...I'm too lazy to do it every day) I need laser eye surgery, someone needs to bleach my teeth until they are "neon white" (thank you Jeff Dunham) and let's take care of my wonderful acne while we're at it. Ooo! Also, take my stretch marks away and the cellulite so I can actually wear shorts or, God forbid, a skirt. Can I also have a boob job? These saggy B's just aren't cutting it. And what color should we make my hair?? Blonde? Sounds like a plan. But if I'm gonna be blonde, you should give me a fake tan, too. Can't have one without the other. *sigh* I'm just sick and tired of seeing pretty people. Not just on TV, either. In for real life, too. Yes, I said for real life. I can't go to Pick Yer Nose without walking out feeling like all grody compared to all the other women. Not just the stoopid teeny-boppers, but the soccer moms and the Stepford wives. Even the guys usually look better than I do. </p>

Sierra made "moose ears" at me. Do it. Take both hands and spread your fingers out wide. Now place each thumb just above each ear and waggle your fingers. Congratulations. You have retreated back to your childhood for 2 seconds. Felt good didn't it? Back when you had nothing to worry about except getting your chores and homework done. Well, some of us had more than that to worry about, but in theory, nothing to worry about.

I didn't get breakfast in bed. I didn't get a flower. No candy bar. He didn't even say Happy Mother's Day until I bitched at him for it. And apparently, he's already got plans for Fathers Day. He's supposedly going fishing with Buzz. I was going to have the entire day planned for him. Make him eggs the way he likes, give him something from me and something from her. Maybe even go have a picnic lunch at a park. Just the 3 of us. A family.

I bought him a Tshirt last year. I got nada last year. This seems to be a pattern. Oh, I did get a few sips out of his A&W Sparkling Vanilla Cream soda.

I shaved and put on a mini skirt, hoping he'd notice that I was trying to be sexy. (something I never feel I am) He told me that I wasn't going to get sex because we had done it the day before. Damn. I gotta go.

Happy Mothers Day to all you moms and aunts and grammas out there!!

Kitty

• Current Music: Never Again (remix)
• Current Mood: depressed

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• bodiesuntouched

  5/12/09 12:11 am (UTC)

  omg, seriously. The whole Barbie plastic look so isn't you. And you know that. There is nothing you need to change about yourself. Only guys who are fucking ass hats look for girls made out of plastic. And too think, dads never want there son's to play with Barbies when they are little, why should it be any different when their balls drop and grow fuzz. You are gorgeous just the way you are, and you know it. No guy who is with you and says they love you would ever make you feel inferior. He would love every stretch mark and misplaced hair, even if that hair happens to be on your legs, your armpits or where ever else hair grows that it shouldn't. I know that this is coming from a friend and isn't the same as from a guy, but when I see you and say you are gorgeous I mean it. It was never I got to know your personality and the way you looked changed to me, I just always thought you were pretty and envied you for the way you looked. So please don't be so hard on yourself. You know that Paul is the way he is because he is a natural asshat, and it has NOTHING to do with you.
  
  Did weenie make all the male mooses go "WhhhhhhhooooooAAAAAAA!!"

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