No virgin ears here

Paul will be home soon. Had to go to his parents' to get his $$$ cuz he's out of cigarettes. His excuse that he gave his mom was that he needed to refill his meds. Which is true, but the main reason for him wanting his money today as opposed to tomorrow was so he could have a cigarette...I had set aside (without him knowing) 3 cigarettes. Gave him one on Saturday and one this morning, thinking that I might get lucky. Yeah, no.

When he gets home, I have to put on a different shirt. I'm wearing my blue bra with the polka dots and a WHITE shirt. Hello, looking like a white trash skank!! lol. Normally, I wouldn't care, but it's REALLY obvious. But yeah, we have to go get another gallon of milk. (I finished it because I ate almost the entire pan of brownies. Paul had 2. I scraped the bottom for crumbs. I needed comfort food so leave me alone belly fat!!) Prolly stopping at WallyMart for TP and dish soap, too.

Talked to Buzz for 40 minutes today. Apparently, Paul makes it sound like he busts his ass doing shit around here. *breaks laugh box from cackling too loud* I'm sorry, but that's just too damn funny. I can't stop laughing. When Paul is the one on the computer for 10 hours, average. Some days he's on anywhere between 12 and 15. Yeah, Paul, you're really pulling your load.

Talked to Ally for about an hour. She wanted to know what Sierra needed for her birthday. I had to have her call me back because me and Paul were fighting. He wanted to use the phone to call his dad for NO REASON other than to just call him. I ended up screaming my head off at him dropping the F bomb left and right and almost in tears apologized to Ally that she had to witness it. She's all like, it's okay. Relationships are hard. I said, Yeah, moreso when only one person is trying.

I'm such a sob story. *sarcastically cuts wrist* That was this morning. I talked for her for about an hour not too long ago. I had called her back.

Buzz wants to hang out tonight. Making it sound like he actually gives two fucks about me. Which maybe, deep down, he does. But I'm not going. Unless I get too pissed off at Paul.

Blah. I'm getting crampy fingers. I'll try to get on tomorrow before we go to his parents' but we'll see.

He's home, anyway. *flips him off through the window* He didn't see it. Damn. I feel like fighting. *tries to laugh diabolically but laugh box just sputters*

~Me

He's gone again. So I'm taking advantage of the available computer. (see previous post)

I vacuumed!!!! *CONFETTI* Her room, the hallway, under the kitchen table and the living room (under the area rug, too!!). I'm so proud of myself. I feel accomplished. Dishes from dinner soaking in the sink. We had lasagna toss, so they need a good soak.

After dinner, we had to run to Aldi really quick to get a gallon of milk, another bag of powdered sugar and a bag of chocolate chips. (The puppy chow wasn't powdered sugar-y enough and I've been eating it *looks at floor* so I'm going to make another batch) As we were pulling into the parking lot, I saw a guy standing about 5' 9" or so, white static-y hair just past his shoulders, scrawny with a beer belly, cowboy boots, red shirt, blue jeans, and ice blue eyes. (I think those kind of eyes are creepy. No offense if any of you have ice blue eyes, I just think they stare right through you.) We both walked up to the only checkout lane open at the same time. I was technically there first, so I subtly snuck a few extra steps in and set my milk down at the edge of the conveyor belt thingy. He only had a halfdozen bouquet of flowers, which I found out later were for his wife. He started bitching about how there's only one lane open. Not crabby loud bitching, just mentioning it loud enough that me and the guy in front of me could hear. I said, "It's like this every time I come here. Only sometimes, there's 2 lanes open."

Crazy guy: I was at Walgreens and they only had one line open and people were lined up halfway through the store.

(I think he was exaggerating, but I don't doubt the fact that only one lane was open)

Me: It's like this everywhere. WalMart especially I--

Crazy guy interrupts: Oh, I'm fed up with WalMart. I'm done shopping there.

Crazy guy then goes on this long tangent about how he knew the founder and how he's "turning in his grave" because WalMart has become everything Founder Sam didn't want it to be. I made the mistake of making eye contact, which is when I realized that he had a lazy eye. Guess which one I made, or tried to, eye contact with??? lol. I diverted my eyes for the rest of the conversation. It was pretty one-sided, so it wasn't difficult.

When we got up to the register, the cashier guy asked me how I was doing. "Tired" He gave me a look and I said, "My neighbors like to blast music until 6am"

Hot cashier guy (who unfortunately has a gf): *laughs* I'm that neighbor.

Crazy guy holds up the flowers after I was done and told hot cashier guy that he wasn't in the doghouse. "I've been married for 35 years. I'm just buying these because I love her."

Awwww. Yeah right.

Me: Wow, I wish mine would get me flowers. Doghouse or not. A bag of M&Ms or something.

Hot cashier guy doesn't get the doghouse. "I just let her cool down."

Me: Ha! I don't cool down.

That's when I decided I'd had enough small talk and left. Hot cashier told me to get some rest. Next to you, perhaps? *sigh*

~Me

This is another post where I'm rather long-winded. This time about his family's !DRAAAAAAMAAAAA! Feel free to skip this one if you feel so inclined.

Remember how I told you that I got her walking on camera?? Yeah, I think I deleted it. More on that later.

Yeah, so lately we haven't had hot water. Dishes piled up because I wasn't about to wash them in lukewarm water. I want it HOT. Showers were 3-5 minutes. Mine were 3, his were 5. Maybe 7 if he took his first. I didn't shower for 3 days because I'm sorry, but 3 minute showers don't satisfy me. I get clean, don't get me wrong. But I want to enjoy my shower, for Pete's sake. (The Pete in question is....Peter Parker) But yeah, yesterday Richard came over at 8AM to fix the water heater. Two days ago, or was it three? Anyway, he turned the water heater up. Didn't help. So he replaced the heating elements. Which looked to me like weirdly shaped flurescent (that looks wrong. Whatever) light bulbs that have been sitting in the bottom of the ocean for 50 years. They were NASTY. Covered in grime. *shudders* He brought them up to my apartment to show me. *shrug* He always shows me old vs new parts to whatever he's fixing. He has yet to fix my bathroom sink. When you turn it to cold, the water like, hardly comes out. Hot water BLASTS your hands but cold water? Trickles. Well, not really. But not fast enough for me. *giggle* I'm giddy right now. Overtired.

But yeah, my shower that first day was mediocre. Took yesterday and it was almost too hot. *grin* I'm not complaining. Guess it just had to get broken in?? Dunno, but I like my hot shower.

Speaking of hot, it was in the 80s the day before yesterday and yesterday it was like, 60. Mostly in the 50s, though. Now it's like, I dunno, 60s-ish?

Um....I don't remember what day it was. Two days ago, maybe. The day before the water heater got fixed, I think. I gave her a bath and the water was cold by the time I got her in it. Well, I had to give her a bath because it was his turn to get up with her. He did. Fed her a bottle instead of actual breakfast, but at least he got up. He kept trying to get me out of bed. I said, no. If I get up, I won't be able to get back to sleep. He failed to mention that she desperately needed a diaper change. (BTW I just farted and I need to walk away. Yes, it smells THAT bad. WTF did I eat?!?!) Anyway, I had put her in a one piece thingy instead of her usualy PJs. Both legs down to the feeties was soaking. Almost her whole back (not just the butt) was wet. Not only had she peed out Lake Michigan, but also pooped. Kinda wet, like it usually is. (It's still not logs, since most of her diet is still formula. Can't wait to be changing her and have the poop roll out of the diaper onto the carpet. Won't that be fun?!)

He won't even change her wet ones. Drives me nuts. Doesn't get her bath ready. Doesn't put her clothes on or change her clothes. He will if I ask him to change her shirt. But bathing her? My job. Which is fine, as it's my favorite time of day. But still. Man up and be a dad.

Sooooooooo I got writers cramp yesterday from drawing out a mini-map of where the park is that I'm having her party. Also wrote on the backs of them (half sheets of paper) that there's a playground, kiddie pool, baseball diamond blahblahblah, bring frisbees and lawn chairs if picnic tables don't sound all that comfortable blahblahblah...Wrote out 12 of those. That was fun. Mailed them on our way home from Auntie Diane's.

Which leads me to last night's drama-fest. Not that much to tell, actually. Although I can honestly say that his family is a bunch of attention whores. Nicole and Ally kept fighting for the spotlight.

Nicole is due "any day now" *rolls eyes* Ally and Paul argued about who medically had it worse. Ally was saying about how she takes 3 medications for one problem. Paul takes SIX. And will continue to for most or all of his life. Ally only has to be on hers until her uterus shrinks back to what it should be. So relatively temporary. (After being in labor for TWENTY minutes, lots of bleeding cuz she pushed when she was specifically told NOT to, infections galore between her bladder and kidneys. Long story short, her uterus has not shrunk down to pre-pregnancy size. Ava is now almost 18 months old. So she's having issues. May have to get a hysterectomy) I mean, yeah Ally that sucks, but Paul's allergies aren't going away. His heart condition will only get worse over time. His cholestorol (sp? I can never spell that right. Or maybe I do and it just looks wrong. *looks at Cheerios box* CHOLESTEROL. Eh, I was close.) might or might not go down enough that he doesn't need meds for it, but I doubt it. He doesn't NEED the heartburn (prilosec, I think), but he's such a whiney bitch without it. And really, if it turns into the acid reflux crap, that can mess up his throat with all the acid. So, I guess he does need it?

But any time people started talking to Nicole about Kaden or MacKenzie (not sure how they're going to spell it, so I guessed) Ally butts in about Ava. And they were going back and forth about crap and I'm like, OMG.

Nicole used to be on medication cuz of how she can't keep anything down when she's pregnant. Not anymore though. I guess it's not an issue for her anymore?? *shrug* I dunno, but I was getting sick of hearing the three of them talking abuot it. Kristin, too. So, in my snottiest voice I said,

"I'm glad that I don't have to take ANY medications." *smirk*

How much of a bitch am I?!?!

Like, I'm the only one in that family who doesn't have plumbing issues. His Auntie Pat had problems when she had her boys. Had a clean-out after her 2nd one was born. June had one too after Kristin. Auntie Diane is going through her "changes". Nicole and Ally both have issues. Kristin's got cancer. Or did. One of the two. June had breast cancer. *looks around* Am I the only one??? Really??? Not sure about the rest of the women in his family, but it seems to be a trend.

I have to admit, however, that I did steal the thunder for a minute. Ten seconds, actually. How many of you remember what I did last year on June 6th??? *looks around for raised hands* For those of you whose arms aren't frantically waving back and forth in the air, I was in the hospital because I thought I was going to have Sierra early. *hands out lollipops to anyone who remembered* (probably none of you, but that's okay)

Surprisingly, no drama about Sierra's birthday.

Jim looked like an Italian pimp. I wish I could upload pictures. I will put them on Photobucket for you. I know, he's icky. But seriously...Black dress shirt unbuttoned a few. Brown (I want to say it was suede, but I don't know. It was like, dark tan colored) suit. Two gold chains. More rings than he usually wears. (Normally, it's just his wedding band) And he replaced his usual silver watch for a gold one. Well, maybe pimp is the wrong word. He looked like he retired from the Italian mafia, at least. Or something. When I put them on Photobucket, leave your own description. Maybe you guys can come up with something better. But I'll do it later. I'm too lazy right now. lol.

At Auntie Diane's, everyone was trying to get Sierra to walk. Now, I can tell people this til my face turns tie-dye, but she won't walk if you force her to. She collapses into a sitting position. Like, Fuck you bitches! I don't wanna walk. Which is fine. I let her be. In fact, she took her first steps on her own. I didn't help. Well, I went through my camera to try and find the video of her walking to prove to these bitches that she CAN walk. I don't think they believe me. Not that I care...yes I do. His BITCH-ASS mother goes, "You'll get it again. When she's ready" I almost almost punched her. Not even just a bitchslap. I wanted to PUNCH her right in the beak. I told her in my whiney-est 5 year old voice "But I want that mooooooovie baaaaaaaack and I deleeeeeeeeted it on accideeeeeent" Which, I think, I did. Like, you bitch. Those were almost her first steps ON CAMERA and I don't have them anymore. UGH. GO TO HELL AND DIE.

~Me

PS-Remind me to tell you about the stoopid mistake I made about telling Nicole something that now I'm sure the whole family knows. Ally knows only because I told her. But I'm sure everyone else does, too.

*sigh* I know I've been sort of on hiatus the last like, 2 days or however long it's been....

Tomorrow I'll update you guys on Kristin's cancerous cervix, Nicole's pregnancy and Ally's latest drama.

Also, do not want to go to his aunt's on Saturday cuz she's a bitch.

Have to remember to tell you about his dad trying to tell Sierra that "it's quiet time". Yeah, well, how 'bout it's SOBER time?

Paul and I fought today. Apparently, he doesn't love me. BS. You need me.

And I have lukewarm water. No hot water. At all. Which is why there's been a pileup of dishes and I haven't showered in 3 days. 4, since now it's after midnight. Yucky, I know. I reek.

Also will tell you about how Paul didn't change Sierra this morning and doesn't want to take care of her.

I'm tired. Going to bed now.

Me

EIGHT STEPS!!!

She took 4 steps, fell, crawled around for about a minute, got back up and took EIGHT steps before she fell again. I'm charging batteries so I can get some on camera.

*CONFETTI*

So yeah, Stephanie (lives across the grass. Like, ten steps across the grass) has a broken arm. Or at least, injured. She's in cast and/or sling. She wasn't like that last night. But she was this morning. Hmmmm. Pretty sure she didn't fall out of a tree or off her bike.

We just got home to find 3 guys being really loud and obnoxious on Jasmine's porch. (She's the one whose apartment got robbed by Stephanie's "friends".) She lives across the hall.

Paul told me to call the cops.

I did. (non-emergency, of course.) And I explained to the operator that the company Jasmine keeps is questionable. I told her that these may or may not be the same people that have been breaking in to people's apartments and/or cars. Also, I mentioned that some of them left death threats and that I was just concerned that something was going to happen.

I still have that feeling. Especially since right now they're arguing. About what? No clue. Can't understand a word they're saying.

Weeeeeell, the operator asked the address. I gave them Jasmine's. She asked for mine just as reference for the police when they arrive, but that it wouldn't go on file. Not so much. The officer who talked to Jasmine said that they got a call from OUR apartment. She's like, "OMG why?" They said it was a noise complaint. Which is technically why I called. They WERE being loud. But not when the cops showed up. They were fucking church mice.

Richard, the manager of these buildings, is on vacation in Vegas for Godknowshowlong. So he's no help.

Jasmine never had these problems until 2 weeks ago. Roughly. And I, personally, think that Stephanie's "friends" are drifting over to Jasmine. *sigh*

Now that they know it was US that called, I'm scared that they're gonna like, get back at us. Like I said, they may or may not be the same people who've BEEN causing trouble. Call me crazy. Call me paranoid. *sneer* Call me racist. I don't care. It's people like their "friends" that deserve to be seen as stereotype. Because they pretty much are.

The cops even said that if I saw anything that could be potential problems, to have them come out and see. And that's exactly what I did.

So why am I still scared?

Am I the only mother living in my building that actually cares about my kid? The only one who acts responsible for my kid? The only one who has better judgment than to surround my kid with people like that? Yeah. You guys are such great role models for you kids.

Granted, there are a handful of parents living here that DO care. But only a handful.

*yawn* almost 8:30. Wow.

~me

I made him food twice today. Pizza for...brunch, really. And two grilled ham and cheese sandwiches for late lunch. And I made him Crystal Light. I let him play his dumb game for 5? hours. I let him take a nap for 2 hours.

When I lean in and ask for a kiss he says I ask too much of him.

EXCUSE me?!?!?!?!

I can't believe I'm admitting this, but I'm listening to Britney Spears. Just listening. I didn't download it. I'm just listening. You'd think that in, what, 10 years? her voice would've matured. But it sounds the same. It's just...surrounded by like, techno/pop.

But yeah...I'm uber bored. Waiting for Paul to come home. *pause* Where else would he be? He's with his boy toy, Buzz. Apparently, Buzz is incapable of doing anything without Paul tagging along. *rolls eyes*

OMG I wrote this back in HS for part of a story that I have yet to finish...
“Uh-uh.” I grinned. “You’re gonna have to catch me first.” I jumped up and ran to the bedroom. He chased after me. He caught up with me before I got there and pinned me against a wall, kissing me hungrily. His hands wandered my body. I bit his lip and walked backwards, pulling him into my room. We tumbled onto my unmade bed like a basket of laundry. Within seconds, we were both tearing each other’s clothes off like lions rip off meat from their prey.
I was on top, which meant I was in control. Good. That’s how I wanted it.

I'll get to rewriting it so y'all can read it, but....I had totally forgotten about that part. Like, in my brain, I'd been going through plot changes and crap cuz I'm completely revamping (not sure if that's the right word, but whatev) the story.

When I'm bored, I eat. Is that bad?

Talked to my brother Alex today. He's got a girl. They've been dating for 7 months. Her name is Sheila. He's a junior, she's a sophmore. They're going to prom on Saturday. I will live vicariously through him. At least, when it comes to school functions. Seeing as Ryan and I didn't go either year. *pout*

I know what people *cough Maggie cough* say about how I AM pretty and gorgeous and whatever, but I can't help pitying myself for the way I look. I hate it. I don't even look in the mirror lately before I leave cuz I hate what I see. No wonder Paul doesn't want to boink.

It was supposed to rain today. Severe wind and thunderstorms. *looks outside* Um, where? Cuz, dude, it's not raining. Wow. That was kind of a Hurley moment. (fellow LOST viewers should get that)

Yeah, so we wasted a shitload of gas going downtown today. We had to apply for Energy Assisstance today. We went to the wrong address. Apparently, there's two addresses that are the same, we just went to the wrong one. I was pissed. So now, we're gonna have to lick, yes, I said lick, the bottom of the gas tank to make it to his parents' on Monday.

Well, I'm gonna go and program the thingy to record LOST finale. If I can figger out how.

*tear* I'm excited and sad that the season is over. After tonight, I'll have to wait until...I forget when to see my Hurls again. I love him. He's been my fav since I first saw the show. And Sawyer's hot too. And Sayid. And Jin's kinda hot too...I like his hair.

~me

You know, it's too bad that I'm not pretty. One of those drop dead gorgeous girls that everyone stares at as she walks away. Maybe then I'd have had a half-way decent Mother's Day. Maybe I should drop 30 pounds (I'm 5'5" and 145-150, depending). I need a nose job (it's huge) someone to wax me whenever I need it (eyebrows and legs etc...I'm too lazy to do it every day) I need laser eye surgery, someone needs to bleach my teeth until they are "neon white" (thank you Jeff Dunham) and let's take care of my wonderful acne while we're at it. Ooo! Also, take my stretch marks away and the cellulite so I can actually wear shorts or, God forbid, a skirt. Can I also have a boob job? These saggy B's just aren't cutting it. And what color should we make my hair?? Blonde? Sounds like a plan. But if I'm gonna be blonde, you should give me a fake tan, too. Can't have one without the other. *sigh* I'm just sick and tired of seeing pretty people. Not just on TV, either. In for real life, too. Yes, I said for real life. I can't go to Pick Yer Nose without walking out feeling like all grody compared to all the other women. Not just the stoopid teeny-boppers, but the soccer moms and the Stepford wives. Even the guys usually look better than I do. </p>

Sierra made "moose ears" at me. Do it. Take both hands and spread your fingers out wide. Now place each thumb just above each ear and waggle your fingers. Congratulations. You have retreated back to your childhood for 2 seconds. Felt good didn't it? Back when you had nothing to worry about except getting your chores and homework done. Well, some of us had more than that to worry about, but in theory, nothing to worry about.

I didn't get breakfast in bed. I didn't get a flower. No candy bar. He didn't even say Happy Mother's Day until I bitched at him for it. And apparently, he's already got plans for Fathers Day. He's supposedly going fishing with Buzz. I was going to have the entire day planned for him. Make him eggs the way he likes, give him something from me and something from her. Maybe even go have a picnic lunch at a park. Just the 3 of us. A family.

I bought him a Tshirt last year. I got nada last year. This seems to be a pattern. Oh, I did get a few sips out of his A&W Sparkling Vanilla Cream soda.

I shaved and put on a mini skirt, hoping he'd notice that I was trying to be sexy. (something I never feel I am) He told me that I wasn't going to get sex because we had done it the day before. Damn. I gotta go.

Happy Mothers Day to all you moms and aunts and grammas out there!!

Kitty

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