Who: Therese Bonaccord & Michal Conway Lynch
What: UGH
Where: her flat!
When: now
Michal shook himself, and couldn’t help but let an amused smile appear on his lips as the dog at his feet did the same. Alphonse, as Therese had name her Christmas present, was an energetic dog that apparently needed a lot of attention that included running around and diving into freshly created snow banks. Surprisingly, Michal did not seem to much mind playing around with Therese’s pet, and now that they were back from their ‘walk’, he realized they were a bit damper and dirtier than they had been upon departure.
Therese would definitely not appreciate a sopping-wet puppy waltzing back into her home, would she?
Pulling out his wand with one hand, Michal (with some effort) took the dog into his arms for a proper cleaning outside Therese’s front door. When both of them were clean and dry, he quickly pocketed his wand and shoved the door open, dog still in arms.
“Alphonse has returned,” Michal let out, closing an eye as the dog squirmed in his arms and licked his face. They walked until finally locating the subject of both their interests, who was sitting on the couch in her living room. The dog jumped out of Michal’s arms, spotting what appeared to be a particularly excellent toy at their feet.
“From the snowy outside world,” Michal finished, lifting his leg up with a smirk to not get tangled up in the dog’s game.
She had been more than pleased that Michal had taking the puppy out for his walk. The cold weather was not something Therese had wished to endure today, though the sight of the two looking quite merry as they entered the flat again did bring a wide smile to her face. Maybe she could bundle up for the next walk, and with that thought she reached out to toss Alphonse another toy. The puppy bounded towards it, skittering and crashing into her feet. He was such a happy presence in her home and Therese couldn’t help but feel warm as he whimpered to be held. Scooping him up, Therese stood and cradled him to her chest, stepping toward Michal. She reached up and brushed some snow off his shoulder, her hand lingering.
“I made hot chocolate,” Therese said, batting her eyes at Michal as her hot chocolate was world-renown. Literally, her father always insisted she brew a pot of it before she settled into their home in Paris. She kissed Michal’s cold cheek, and puppy still in tow (he was turning into a bit of a lazy/spoiled one, as she seemed to carry him from room to room), Therese made her way to the kitchen to prepare the drinks. “Down, down.”
Alphonse slid across the tiles to his water bowl and Therese pulled out her wand to finish the drinks.
“Do you want marshmallows?” she asked as her wand stirred over the pot. Therese smiled to herself, feeling happy and content until her eyes lifted to the calendar hanging on the cabinet in front of her. Her stomach dropped; she’d forgotten she had an appointment with Healer Jordan tomorrow morning---how had it already been a month? How had it been a month and she still hadn’t told Michal? She took a deep breath, intent on finishing the hot chocolate. “One, two, or a handful?”
Michal wandered after Therese into the kitchen, his face lit abright at the mention of chocolatey goodness. Homemade hot chocolate, on a day like this? He had no idea taking the dog out for a walk meant that kind of reward. He would take the dog out every bloody day if it meant coming back to delicious treats.
Any kinds of treats he would accept, really, they didn’t have to be only delicious in a food aspect.
Smiling at his own raunchy quip, Michal fixated on playing with the bowl of apples on her kitchen table. “Whole handful,” he said pleasantly, now attempting a balancing feat of fruit. But, seeing as he was by no means a skilled anything aside from stopping red-colored sports balls from flying through golden hoops, Michal quickly found he needed some help. Pulling out his wand, he circled it slowly until all dozen of the bowl’s inhabitants began to dance and orbit each other in the air.
That was fun, wasn’t it? He quickly snapped them all back into place (to Alphonse’s whining discontent) when Therese approached, mug in hand. Letting out a content sound, Michal licked his lips before wrapping his fingers around the cup.
“Very good,” he said, taking a moment to smell in the distinct scent of a flavorful beverage.
It made her happy that he enjoyed the drink, truthfully, it made her happy to see him happy. It was simple, really; Michal Conway Lynch made Therese happy and she found this feeling to be a painful force in her chest, causing her lungs to fill up with icy despair. Her conscience was eating away at her, battling with telling him about the trauma she endured and letting him remain blissfully unaware. She would want to know if something had happened to him, she would think it silly of him to be worried about her feelings, but it was so much harder to actually come out with it when you technically didn’t have to.
It really was hard to swallow your own advice, wasn’t it? Therese wondered if there was a therapist for therapists, someone for those who overanalyzed every minute decision they made. Not that this revelation would be minute, it was anything but that. She knew that keeping the miscarriage a secret was what was weighing on her shoulders the most, she knew that. It was just too hard to think about telling him, and potentially hurting him.
Or maybe it was just too hard to think about at all.
She held the mug tightly in her hands, but kept it firmly planted on the table, sure that she would not be able to drink any of it with how badly her stomach was twisting. Therese lifted her feet with an awkward step to let Alphonse through, and let out a breath.
“I need to talk to you about something,” she said, looking down at the table. She tried to sound casual, but it was hard when she couldn’t stop her hands from shaking. She let go of the mug before it spilled and Therese waited a beat before deciding to attempt to push through and rip the proverbial bandage from her skin, “I would have told you sooner, but with the tournament and all the----commotion, I thought it would be best to...wait and...it’s not---I mean to say, I don’t want you to worry, but I---”
Her face twisted as she found it was much more difficult to say the words than actually think it. Therese pressed the heel of her hands to her eyes to try and force the developing tears back. “I look mad, I’m sorry, I just don’t to upset you---”
Michal’s face dropped, and he suddenly felt that he was struggling to understand what was occurring before him. What was Therese saying? That something... had happened? That something had happened during the European Cup? Which he didn’t know about. But she didn’t want him to worry about? What could possibly be that important, yet unimportant? Her tone made him feel like it had been him that did something wrong.
Was this about the jailing stint? He knew Therese had said she hadn’t been too upset about that, but that could very well have been a fib to be brought up at a later date. He thought darkly how his PR team had basically done that, waiting until the moment he returned home to slap a slew of strongly worded requirements concerning his public image, now. But he hadn’t thought--- not that he was assuming Therese was--- Michal put a stop to those thoughts, not finding them productive if that wasn’t really about what was going on here.
His brow contorted, and Michal brought the mug in his hands down onto the table before him. “What’s going on?” he asked cautiously, also choosing to stay where he stood instead of closing the distance between him and Therese just yet.
This was going on much longer than it needed to, even though she hadn’t said anything of importance. She was avoiding, she was avoiding and doing exactly what she told her patients she shouldn’t do. Therese took a shaky breath, realizing that she needed to heed her own advice, because she was the apparent professional, right? Even though it was difficult, how did she ever get people to listen to her? Therese lifted her gaze to his, thinking it would be easier, but that was her first mistake. He made her happy, it wasn’t supposed to be like this.
“I had a miscarriage,” she said, her voice not as strong as she had hoped it would be. Her face crumpled and she dropped her gaze, unable to look him in the eye any longer; she felt so ashamed. “I should have told you sooner, but I didn’t want to ruin the tournament and---I felt...so stupid because I didn’t even know and...” Therese wiped away a few tears that had escaped and let out a shuddering breath.
“I’m sorry...I thought you deserved to know.” Her breath hitched, her face feeling hot from the surge of emotions that was coursing through her. Therese couldn’t lift her eyes from the wood of the table, “I--I’m sorry, I’m so sorry...” She didn’t even know what she was apologizing for now, there were so many things she felt miserable over.
A....? Michal felt his eyes go wide, and after a few moments of frozen silence, his fingers ran down the sides of his jaw. That was.... the last thing he had been expecting her to reveal, and it felt quite unceremonious and loaded in his gut. And now she was... he, too, dropped his gaze, feeling a bit strained as how to properly digest this new (yet old) news while attempting his best to ignore the tears in her eyes.
What could he even....? Anything that remotely came to mind to say did not seem right (even to him, simply uttering a thank you was inappropriately callous), but, to not make this seem as dramatic or serious, Michal felt the desperate need to say something. How could you feel so deeply about say nothing and something at the same time? His mouth opened again, then promptly shut as he rubbed his jaw.
Why was she apologizing? He felt even more uncomfortable because of it, and felt even less able to let this exchange roll off his shoulders. It wasn’t... that big of a deal, was it? No, he supposed. But then why did it feel like it was? Was it to her? They had never... he could understand, why she would be upset, but was it... Michal suddenly felt very, very overwhelmed, and very unable to continue doing what he was doing.
Standing up abruptly, his hand ran to the top of his head to pull on his hair. “I need some air,” Michal let out quickly, feeling his heavy feet drag. But he didn’t want her to think---- “Just a lot to take in, at once,” he mumbled briefly, free hand wavering slightly as he reached for his coat.
Therese let out a shuddering breath as the door shut behind him. Even as her eyes welled with tears and she felt like her legs couldn’t hold her up anymore, a great sense of...she supposed it was relief that had washed over her. She pressed her hands to her eyes as she leaned back against the counter, unsure of much else other than the fact that the huge knot in her chest had finally untangled itself. She hated to lie and felt relieved for finally sharing her secret. it was a common theme of treatment with many of her patients; being untrue was often the cause of their stress, and to be honest helped more than they could imagine.
Her hands dropped, and when she finally blinked open her eyes she smiled at the sight of Alphonse at her feet, looking up expectantly. The tilt of his head made him seem confused, and Therese could not blame him. She was quite confused herself, though she really had not actually imagined how Michal would react as she had pushed the thought of telling him everything so deeply away every time they were together that she hadn’t given herself the chance. Therese could understand his need for air; she’d spent over an hour in the shower after she’d returned from the hospital, trying to clear her mind.
At least she finally told him. Therese bent to scratch behind the puppy’s ears, and soon found herself sitting on the tiled floor with him climbing into her lap. She had been upset with her body, yes, upset that something of hers no matter how small it had been, had died, but without the attachment that could have been felt if she’d known, if they’d been planning...Therese had found herself feeling more sick about how this was going to affect her relationship with Michal. Was that wrong? Selfish, even? She was enjoying how they were, it felt normal and nice, they weren’t ready for something like a baby, so...did that make her a bad person?
Alphonse licked her face and she managed to laugh. No, not a bad person. Someone who had her priorities figured out, maybe. Therese allowed the puppy to continue to play with her hair as she looked toward the door, letting out a breath as she wondered if he would be coming back.
