Fic: Sibling Rivalry
Title: Sibling Rivalry
Fandom: Torchwood/Sarah Jane Adventures
Spoilers: Minor ones for SJA season 1 and Torchwood season 2
Rating: PG
Summary: What happens when jurisdictions overlap. Disregards TSE and Journey's End for teh lulz. Written for doyle_sb4, in the fandom_stocking exchange.
"Um, Sarah Jane..." Clyde said, tentatively.
"Quiet," Sarah Jane snapped.
From the other side of the impasse, Ianto ventured, "Maybe we should put the guns away..."
"I said quiet!" Jack said.
Clyde and Ianto exchanged helpless glances and shrugs.
The alien currently quivering on a rock put up a cautious tentacle, and said in a highly incongruous Russian accent, "Er, I don't mean to interrupt, but all I really want to do is get to Alpha Centuri, so if you could kindly direct me..."
"Shush!" Sarah Jane and Jack yelled, simultaneously.
It shushed.
"Because a pissing contest is
much more important," Gwen muttered, and got her foot stomped on by Ianto.
Captain Jack Harkness and Miss Sarah Jane Smith were currently standing eye-to-eye (well, as eye-to-eye as a six-foot man and a five-four woman could stand), arms crossed and eyes narrowed. "This one's ours," Jack said, in a tone that brooked no disagreement.
Unfortunately for him, Sarah Jane could and did brook disagreement. "We got here first," she said. "And what do you mean by coming all the way out here? I thought you lot stayed in Cardiff."
"Cardiff is merely our home base," Jack said, loftily. "It's our mandate to hunt aliens, Miss Smith. You're a civilian."
She sniffed. "I still have UNIT clearance, thank you very much."
"Still, you're not qualified..."
"Oh? Qualified?" A dangerous light lit Sarah Jane's eyes. "Do you want to talk about qualified, Captain Harkness? Do you really want this conversation to take that path?"
Luke had wandered over to the alien and was talking quietly to it. A moment later, Ianto joined him.
"I've been chasing aliens for longer than you've been alive!" Jack said, sounding offended.
"Oh, really," Sarah Jane said, "then you think you'd be better at it."
He rolled his eyes. "I'd like to see you do any better."
"Shall I direct your attention to the Slitheen?" Sarah Jane asked, with a rather smug smile. "Or perhaps that trouble with Combat 3000? Maybe you'd rather talk about the Gorgon."
Jack rolled his eyes again. "Small change. You try taking on weevils and shapeshifters--" Gwen groaned-- "and unexpected time shifts, and then we'll talk."
Sarah Jane opened her mouth, and was interrupted by the sound of the alien's transport powering up.
"Ta, chaps!" it said, still in that incongrous Russian accent. "I'll send you a postcard, shall I?"
"Address it to Mr. Smith!" Luke said, cheerfully waving in response to the alien's tentacle waggle.
"He'll get it to me," Ianto added.
The alien waggled its tentacle again, then roared off into the sky.
There was a long moment of silence while Luke and Ianto tried not to squirm under the respective glares of Luke's mum and Ianto's boss.
Suddenly, Jack shook his head. "Well, that's that, I guess," he said, and turned a blinding smile on Sarah Jane. "Care for a drink?"
She huffed, seized her son's hand and started off down the hill, chin high. "Come on, Clyde!"
