Four Reasons Long-Distance Relationships Don't Work Out
Title: Four Reasons Long-Distance Relationships Don't Work Out (And One Reason They Definitely Do)
Author: TigerKat24
Recipient: Priscellie
Assignment: Molly and Carlos try some innovative solutions to a long-distance relationship.
Word Count: 1,768
Rating: PG-13
Notes: Written for the Dresden Files ficathon. Slight spoilers for Small Favor. Beta'd by the wonderful awanderingbard since my usual darling Pris was out for obvious reasons. Speaking of.

Dear Pris,
SYKE.
Love, Kat.


1.
Road trips, Molly decided, were definitely out.

Not that she minded long nights under the stars, or turning up the radio as loud it would go and singing along to “She’s a Sensation” while tearing down Route 66 as fast as she could. Those were fun. She didn’t really mind the rest-stop food, or the occasional magic-induced breakdown, or the long hours cramped in the cab, inching along the map towards Los Angeles. Not so much fun, but she could deal. She didn’t even mind the traffic, much. Carlos was worth a little bit of frustration.

No, what she really couldn’t stand was the reception when she got home.

She got back very late from the first trip, at ten or eleven, so she didn’t slam the door or call a greeting. Her littler brothers and sisters would certainly be asleep; even her parents might have retreated to bed. Though they weren’t necessarily asleep.

Okay. Molly did not want to go there. She shook the thought out of her mind, eased the front door shut, and tiptoed up the stairs.

She made it up to her room without stirring any wails or yells of greeting, and closed the door behind herself with a sigh. Safe back home. Awesome as a week with Carlos was, three days on the road did not make for a happy or energetic Molly, and she’d need to be both to deal with her siblings.

Which was what a night’s rest was for. She smiled, and turned away from the door towards her bed.

Which was otherwise occupied.

Molly stared at it, feeling her jaw slowly drop. Her beloved siblings had seen fit to festoon her bed with red streamers, a heart made out of red-wrapped chocolates, various stuffed animals and cards left over from Valentine’s Day, and a big sign that read, in Daniel’s best handwriting, “Molly and Carlos kissing in a tree!”

Beneath that, Harry had printed in wobbly capitals: “K-I-S-I-N-G.” Apparently no one had had the heart to correct him.

Molly stood for another moment, torn between the adorableness of the whole thing (and the undeniable attraction of the chocolate) and a sudden burning need to strangle Daniel in his sleep.

Road trips were definitely out.


2.
Carlos Ramirez had no idea how he was going to get out of this one.

“Well, for starters,” he said, as diplomatically as possible, “it was not my idea.”

“Oh, you really expect me to believe that, do you?” Harry sounded very, very annoyed. “You expect me to believe that Molly would come up with that all by her innocent little self?”

Carlos blinked for a moment. “Innocent?” he said, at last. “Are we talking about the same Molly? Molly Carpenter?”

“Oh, shut up.” The annoyance in Harry’s voice receded a little, replaced by reluctant amusement. “You are aware that I am responsible to her mother for what goes on in my apartment.”

Charity Carpenter. Oh, dear. “Yes,” Carlos said, putting as much meek contrition into his voice as he could manage without laughing. “I do. And I repeat that it wasn’t my idea.”

“Not to mention,” Harry continued, as if Carlos hadn’t said anything, “my virgin ears. I did not need to hear that. Ever. Ever ever ever.”

Carlos snorted. “Since I’m the only one in this conversation who’s actually a virgin…”

"Sure didn’t sound like it, unicorn bait.”

“Bite me.” It sounded like he was out of the woods. Carlos let himself relax, minutely.

Harry mumbled something inaudible, then said, “But seriously, Ramirez. Any more phone sex in my apartment and I tell Charity.”

Carlos stared at the phone for a moment in silent horror. “Dios. You wouldn’t.”

“I would. Warden shortage or not, I don’t need to hear that. Make it so.” Harry hung up.

Well, fuck.


3.
Molly couldn’t stop giggling.

“Disgraced,” Harry moaned, his face buried in his hands.

“Your face!” Molly said. “His face! Their faces! Oh my God!”

Harry lifted his head and glared at her. “You do realize, apprentice, that I will never be able to show my face in the Council again.”

She shrugged. “Not like you weren’t looking for an excuse to duck a few more Council meetings. Way I see it, you should be thanking me.”

“No, I really shouldn’t. We have to work with these people!”

Molly rolled her eyes. “Oh, come on. Aren’t you being a little overdramatic? I saw Ebenezar shoot whiskey out his nose. Commander Luccio was sniggering. Even Morgan wasn’t as mad as he was pretending. I think it was just LaFortier who was shouting about disgrace and you don’t like him anyway!”

Harry put his face back in his hands, from which gesture Molly correctly surmised that he couldn’t in all honesty refute that. “The worst damn part is that I had to agree with Morgan. You made me agree with Morgan, Molly! I hope you’re happy!”

Molly put on her best noble-sacrifice face. “I’ll await the call from the Nobel Peace Prize committee, then.”

“Wiseass.”

“Why are you so upset, anyway?” she asked, folding her arms. “It’s not like it was black magic or anything.”

Harry raised his head again to give her an incredulous look. “Morgan found you, my apprentice, making out with his youngest regional commander in the closet. At a Council meeting. Where we are meant to be serious, business-type folks. IE, not making out in the closet.”

Molly smirked. “I hadn’t seen him in a while. And hey, if the Lord did not want me to make out with Carlos in a closet, He would not have put a closet in close proximity to a very boring Council meeting.”

“I’m pretty sure that God had little or nothing to do with your overactive teenage hormones,” Harry said.

“Says the man who was eyeing up Commander Luccio,” Molly said, unrepentant. “What was that about serious business-type folks again?”

Harry went an interesting shade of pink. “Fine. Our little secret. You won’t do it again, right?”

Molly thought it best to remain diplomatically silent.

She had no intention of getting caught again, at any rate.


4.
The problem with having a girlfriend in Chicago when you lived in Los Angeles (aside from the numerous people who refused to believe that she existed) was that you did not get to see her very often. The problem with that should, Carlos thought, be self-evident, particularly when Molly was as hot as she was. Particularly when he’d been recently engaged in a fascinating attempt to discover just how far down the tattoos went.

He relaxed back into the couch, hands behind his head, and lapsed into a quiet, happy contemplation of his girlfriend. He’d just decided that his next experiment would be with some of her piercings, and not the ones on her face, either, when he was jolted rudely out of his pleasant fantasy.

“Carlos!” His sister Marisol snapped her fingers in front of his face. “Wake up!”

“No, I won’t take your shift,” he replied, automatically, and blinked. “Wait, what?”

“You were a million miles away,” Marisol said, hands on her hips.

Carlos considered. “More like two thousand. What do you want?”

Marisol eyed him suspiciously, but evidently decided it wasn’t worth her time. “Will you take my shift don’t say no I want to go out with Jorje tomorrow night and Mama has me working.”

He sighed. “Tomorrow night?”

Marisol squeaked. “Nine o’clock. You’re the best brother ever!”

Carlos rolled his eyes. “You only ever say that when I do stuff for you. Go away.”

“I love you anyway, crankypants,” Marisol said, and obligingly went away.

In his mind, Molly flicked her tongue stud against her teeth and smiled wickedly at him. That smile always made him want to take her somewhere private—anywhere private. That smile, and the thing she did with her tongue…

“Carlos!”

Goddamnit. “What?” he snapped, and opened his eyes just enough to glare.

Eduardo, his eldest brother, gave him a look. “There’s no need to snap. Can you babysit for Luisa tonight?”

Carlos adored his niece, but he really couldn’t. “Got to work,” he said, and then, perfunctorily, “Sorry. Ask Marisol.”

“All right.” Eduardo went out again.

Carlos waited a good minute or so, to be sure that no other members of his vast extended family were going to come in. It seemed quiet, anyway. Tentatively, he closed his eyes, and reached out for Molly…

“Carlos!”

Some days he could just kill them all.


5.
“We’re insane, aren’t we.”

“Probably,” Carlos said, sleepily. “Does it matter?”

Molly snorted, and ran her fingers through his hair. He lay on her couch with his head in her lap, his eyes half-closed, spending a few hours with her before he had to go back to Los Angeles and his duties there.

So far away. He was always so far away. She swallowed, and said, “Hey. Do you ever wonder if it’s worth it?”

He shrugged, an interesting contortion in a man lying down. “Define it.”

“Us. Me. This.”

Carlos opened his eyes very wide and gave her a hurt, bewildered look. “Are you breaking up with me?”

Molly stared at him for a moment, open-mouthed.

Fortunately Carlos couldn’t keep a straight face for long.

“You suck,” Molly said, over his laughter, and dumped his head on the couch. “Jesus, don’t do that to me.”

“Oh, but you’re so funny when you’re shocked,” he said, then, “Ow, all right, all right, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be a jerk when I’m being serious,” she said. “Really. Do you ever wonder if it’s worth it?”

Carlos sat up, and ran his hands through his hair like he usually did when he wasn’t entirely happy. “No. It’s not that I like the distance, or the trouble, or people’s faces when they open doors that are meant to be locked…”

Molly giggled at the memory. “I like the faces.”

“You would. As I was saying, it’s not that I like the trouble.” He leaned over and brushed a thumb over her lips. “It’s just that I never once doubted you, querida. You’re worth it all and more.”

She blushed, and to hide it, leaned forward and kissed him. Carlos slipped an arm around her shoulders and tilted her head back just a little, and she forgot to worry.

“Oh, yeah,” she breathed, after a moment. “That’s why I love you.”

Carlos smiled. “What, you mean my devilish charm and angelic good looks don’t have anything to do with it?”

“Peacock,” she said. “No, I’m just using you for makeouts.”

“Good enough for me.” He kissed her again.