Hmmm...so you need my help, huh? I'm impressed baby sister! Not like you to ask, you must really like this Emma chick.

No, Jacque and mother went to Mexico for the month. Some bullshit about getting back to their roots...sick. It should be empty though, and if daddy dearest is there, I'll get rid of him. He owes me....

We should NOT invite Le just for laughs. He'll probably be like a mother hen the whole time anyway. Don't worry runt, I got this party on lock! Your little lover is safe with me! I'll make sure no one throws up in the pool when you two sneak off to do the dirty even.

I don't need it, I'm requesting it. Besides that, it isn't as if I'm asking you to help with some mammoth task of great importance.. it's just a yard party. And I do like her obviously, that's what dating people means. I know you're unfamiliar with the concept, but do try to follow along, Marney.

Oh, fantastic. I love when she tells me absolutely nothing and does whatever she wants, typical mom. I don't care where any of them are as long as they're not in that house. And do you really want to play that game? Leland will, I expect, have a bird. But he is going to need a babysitter, maybe that will hinder him.

You don't need anything on lock. You can take your lock right off my party. I only require a tiny bit of your help. Don't do or plan anything rash, this is a quaint gathering of friends, not Mardi Gras or something! PG-13 at best, and.. you know, respectable.

And don't be disgusting! We aren't going to be sneaking off to do anything, not that it's your business if we do. I know how to present myself at a social event, unlike you. I think I can reign in my hormones until the guests depart.

I've dated people before! God Runt, I ain't stupid!

Isn't she a peachy woman? Lovely really. They won't be there Ru, don't worry!

Well fine! What you want me to be, the door guard? You do know by inviting the little brat's friend Tatum you're gonna attract Mack and Hunter right? Le's friends with 'em too. HA! respectable?! You really think the brat wants something respectable? Alright baby sister, I'll make sure it'll stay respectable. Promise.

I'll believe that when I see it Ru! Don't think I didn't see you two sneak off at the dance.

Well actually, you are- Sure.

I'm not worried. I don't have any reason to be worried, right? You'll take care of it. And I know that some.. unsightly guests are unavoidable. I'm just hoping they can contain themselves. Maybe her lady will go into labor or something and none of them can come? Who knows. We have a whole week. And I'm not a baby, don't call me that.

We did not! We were peeing!

Unless mother decides to stop porking every pool boy that moves, then no, you have no reason to be worried.

Mack and Hunt are the greatest! I don't know what you're talking about Ru. Michi is looking about ready to pop though. No, you're not a baby but you're still my baby sister!

You must have had to pee for a reeaaallly long time then! Don't act like you didn't runt! I know a hook up sneak of when I see one!

Yeah, that's about as likely as.. well, something with extremely low probability.

They're the greatest as making a mess of things. I've never attended a party they've thrown where something ridiculous didn't occur at some point in the evening. They're.. unpredictable in their spontaneity. But that kid is Emma's friend, so I have to invite her. I just hope she knows how to keep her wild blondes under control. Leland would be able to handle them, at least if he came.

Younger sister, yes. Little sister, maybe. But I'm not your baby sister.

Well, we needed to pee, and then wash our hands, fix our hair.. I needed help with the back of my dress zipper, that's all. We weren't "hooking up" don't be disgusting! I'm done discussing my sexuality and sexual lifestyle with you.

Ru, don't beat anyone up, okay???? I don't wanna have to come spring you from detention on my birthday!

[Ruby]

I love you too Ru!

WHAT IS IT?!?! YOU GOT ME SOMETHING ELSE? Aw baby, you didn't have to get me more stuff! You're the best present of all anyway :)

But...like, how long am I gonna have to wait? Can I have one hint?! PLEASEEE RUBE???

YES!! Ice cream cake! Please :D

Well, then everybody should probably listen to my warning, shouldn't they? I think Sunny would assist me. She has a mean left hook of her own.

[Emma]
It's not really a something.. per se, anyway. I'm waiting to hear back from someone, and then we'll go, hopefully tonight? Get ready after class, and meet me in my room? Err, perhaps your room. I don't really want to have to punch Eden today..

One hint! It has to do with things that originate from the extinct orders Saurischia and Ornithischia. Fair?

Okay okay, I'll get on it! What did I say about patience? Remember!

I guess so...Just don't get in trouble, okay?

[Ruby]
Hear back from who? Okay...so we're meeting in my room? Eden is kind of mean sometimes....and likes to make fun of me :(

Ruby, that's not a hint! Those aren't even real words...

I have patience :< sometimes...

I never get in trouble!

[Emma]
Yes, we'll go to your room. If she gives you shit though, tell me and I'll.. deal with it accordingly.

Those are real words! Look them up, go ahead.

Mostly.

Okay! :) What do you mean accordingly?

I was going to but then Tatum came over and we ended up playing DS. I asked her though and she agreed they must be made up because she's never heard of them. And then Mack came to get her, and I asked her and she said the same thing!

I'm patient when we read together! and when you tell me to stop bothering you when we do homework. I'm the birthday girl! I'm allowed to be impatient!

It means.. you know, as I see fit. Judging the actions and using justified force and tone of voice with her as necessary to the situation. I don't fuck around.

Emma, they are real words. They're the names of two types of orders.. as in the usual major subdivision of a class or subclass in the classification of different organisms, consisting of several families? It's basic biology, your friend didn't even know that? Ask her sister next time instead.

Alright, but only because it's your birthday can you get away with being so antsy.

No, you don't fuck around :) You're so serious sometimes Ru! It's pretty hot though, when you get all protective

What?! I don't even know what all of that means Ruby!! You're so confusing :( I dunno if Tate knew it or not, we were pretty high when I asked her!

What else do I get to get away with on my birthday? ;)

Yeah, Eddie loves museums, I could see her being into it. She's pretty good about not running off as long as she has someone to hold onto.

Is this like you reaching out and doing sibling type things? Should I do something in return? God I suck at this brother thing. I'm not sure how much a two year old can absorb but their brains are supposed to be like sponges. It might be nice for her to have some time with her other auntie, I suspect you're a way better influence than Mars. Don't tell her I said so.

Well, obviously I would keep a good hold on her. Do you have one of those leashes though? I'm capable, you know, not inept. I think it's pretty cool there.. they have a butterfly pavilion as well. It's sort of far, but we'd be taking the Floo obviously, I know the way.

You do loads of your important learning under the age of five! She'll be fine, even if she doesn't really retain much, there is still a lot to see and.. visual stimulation is good for children, isn't it?

Does she call me that? Or is she supposed to? Auntie, that's kind of weird- Of course I'm a better influence than Mars. I don't even have to tell her, I'm sure she knows. She strives to be an insufferable influence.

No leash but there are a number of tactics I can teach you. I know, I know, it's easy to say you're not going to worry, much harder to actually go through with it. She hasn't really been out-out without me. Ever. It's fucking terrifying, anything could happen just different is all.

Visual shit, yeah it's good for kids, they're mostly visual anyways. It'll be good for her definitely.

Mars does seem to take pleasure in being insufferable. :)

That sounds promising. Really? Not ever? I suppose that makes sense.. but you wouldn't want to coddle her. I'm sure she'd be fine, wouldn't she? I know we haven't really properly spent time together yet..

It would all be by your standards of course, you're her father.. if you want us to call you or something. Whatever puts your mind at ease, pops.

If I didn't know better, I'd say it was her middle name.

Never. It's been me and the kid for two years now. Weird having a family all of the sudden. You're right, don't want to coddle her. I know she needs to gain independence at some point. She'll be fine, she'll have a damn good time I'm sure of it.

Just keep my updated by text. Let me know if you need anything. I can pack her a little backpack.

Marney Insufferable Sykes. It's got a bit of a ring to it, don't you think?

If she's anything like the rest of the our family, she'll be a fiercely independent woman. And that's a damn good thing, too.

Little backpack? Like snacks and a spare outfit and all of that rubbish? I don't mean to alarm you, but your soft cuddly insides are showing, Leland.

I can practically picture it on her birth certificate.

It is a good thing. If she could I'm sure she would already be taking care of herself.

You better not tell the others Squirt.

Pretty fitting.

She's probably more capable than Mars, but she manages to pull it off.

I'm not a squirt. I'll be sixteen in three months, you know!

It's likely. I'm starting to place bets on this shit.

That's mildly terrifying you know.

I considered doing a study before on how she miraculously hasn't managed to die yet, either through alcohol poisoning or just being a complete fool, but it felt like a lot of work to spend on writing about Marney and her bad habits. But it would make a hell of a science fair project.. the exception of survival of the fittest, an exclusion of Darwin's theory. On her own in a more cut-throat society, she would have been offed long ago. My sister, ladies and gentlemen.

If they would allow me to operate a motor vehicle at sixteen, I think I can manage holding a toddler's hand for a day. I become a legal adult at seventeen, by the way, so it isn't even that much of a stretch.

Kinda makes you wonder if she's fuckin with us our not, doesn't it?

I wouldn't trust any other almost sixteen year old with my child. You know that right?