| dream |
[Jun. 2nd, 2008|10:51 pm] |
i don't recall how it started so there wont be alot of background storiy to explain why somethings went the way it did. we'll start begin with me, its all gonna be from what my eyes see or from a view of me looking at me. i hanging out with my friends from work in a place i don't recognize. we're all having a good time and i believe my girlfriend is somewhere in this mix of friends. after a long while of nothing and chilling, cause i can't remember what the hell we're doing. we head out for school. i just realize how strange that is since i'm with friends from work. but on the way to school as we're a walking down some blurry unrecognizeble road i notice my girlfriend is up front away from the group with a guy thats not me. shes wearing a real nice outfit with jeans and a skirt. i can tell how i feel about this cause the same feeling is running through my chest as i think about it. why is she up there with him? why is she walking like that, inside i'm so giddy to be with him, new girlfriend? i don't know what to think about this, but its obvious its effecting me cause my friends notice i'm no longer entertaining them. thinks start to get a little weird when my girlfriend pulls her skirt up to show her legs. just her legs cause her pants disappear and the only thing thats covered is her ass. its strange how it holds this bunched up "U" shape on her ass. i guess i'm really "dumb founded" about it all since i'm not doing anything but watching. i this who i am now or is this my dream holding me still, stuck in the pain of my chest. i do nothing until one of the female friends i'm with moves back to quietly ask, "whats going on with your girlfriend, what is that?" i run up to her and grab her hand, pulling her out of what ever she was thinking. i say "what the fuck are you doing? pull your fucking skirt down". she pulls away from me and says thing like "why am i doing this, i'm always doing this to her". i don't think it matters what she said, but more that shes acting this way and not stopping. at this part of the dream we're in the school with her and him further up then before. i yell out to her but she becomes an echo in the crowd. as i leave the group to find her, the school starts to become more familair. its my middle school. as i go walking through the crowd i get blocked by some kid in army uniform. i say exscuse me but he doesn't move, so i shove him against the walk and as i do that my uniform disappears and i'm topless. i keep moving through the school and all the kids are gone. now i'm not looking for my girlfriend anymore, but for room N 0 something. my new path brings me to a fat teacher standing on the step. i explain what i'm look for and she directs me to the MP office claiming they will help me. at first i head down to it but just as i get to the door i look back at her and think, "why do i need the police". i leave that area and move on. later i get to a man who takes me to a reinforced door to a different part of the school. as i move to that part of the school its clear now that i'm in high school. the high school i went to in New york. as i walk through this school looking for my classroom, numbers and directions appear on the walls. right before i finally get to my room the bell rings and i hear the kids start to russle. these big walls fall at the ends of the hallways like dividers. then the doors open and the kids came out.
like they had to be controlled. like they can't be left on their own. i wake up after that. no idea what it means, but i means something. why do i remember this dream? i have some thoughts, but now i don't want to understand it. like, is that what i'll become? will i turn into that person? but there was 2 different me's. ???. |
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| Spiced Chai |
[Feb. 8th, 2008|01:06 am] |
I get one day off. Its what i look forward to all week.
Thursdays has become my weekends. 2 days of partying, drinking or just cutting loose is now sqeezed into 1 day, 24hrs. crazy right? I use to hop from 1 barracks to another on friday nights getting hammered with my ppl. I'm talking all night! Saturday I'd be out hunting for hours. Hunting is my word for the hours i spend talking to every cutie in sight, and i have 20/20 vision! Sadly i must say, many saturdays ended back at the barracks with my bros. Sundays, oh man sunday, i hated sundays the most. It usually started with a hang over, then you realize how fast the weekend went. You gather all your shit together and start cleaning. Do laundry and lay your uniform out for that dreaded next day.
This may sound like such a horrible way to spend your weekends but i loved it. I miss it so much. Its not like i didn't do anything during the week, but the weekends were so chill. Now all that is pushed in to 1 day and the thing that made it come close to some feeling of happyness, is a Spiced Chai latte from the coffee shop. How pathetic. |
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