Mary Jane's Last Dance

http://nbcsports.msnbc.com/id/28339373/

Oh, Lions. You are the epitome of failure. Even though my Saints have been eliminated from contention, we set new team records today and we fucked youse guys up. It was NFL playing against a junior varsity team really

Congrats on being the first 0-15 team in history, now go all the way. It's the only way you can rebuild. Hey, my baseball team was a win-sucking hopeless cesspool of draft busts and past-their-prime players once, too.

Baseball

Rays: STOP SHITTING THE BED. PLZ. Postseason's, like, right around the corner! It's there! So why did you decide to drop three games against THE FUCKING BLUE JAYS again? I love you, but now's not the time to revert back to your old ways. You've got Boston to play now and you rarely win games at Fenway. :(

Also put Evan Longoria back in. We need that guy more than ever. We need our All-Star rookie third baseman who makes incredible catches and hits well! We need. To stop. The bleeding.

Red Sox: Be a dear and lose for us.

Yankees: Fuck off already.

Blue Jays: Suck it.

Football

Saints: Good job. Your D has proven to have turned itself around from last season in this game. Hope Randal Gay is okay. Thanks for hauling ass in this game, Bush. Keep it up. Keep kicking ass, Saints.


Love,
sexandpolitics

My nerves are completely shot. I have to talk to someone new about something important (like getting a full-time job) and my nerves go phhhhhhhbbbbbt.

In better news, the Saints won their first preseason game, 24-10. The Cardinals couldn't break their defense. Now THAT's what I like to see! Not to mention that Meacham ran for nearly 40 yards to make the last touchdown. He rules. :D

The commentators on that game did make a valid point: with Favre gone from the Packers, the NFC got a LOT easier. Assuming we don't do retarded things like we did last year (a failed double-reverse play with three minutes on the clock and leading anyone?), we should take the NFC South and go on to the playoffs. Hopefully. Fingers crossed, people.

GIANTS WIN

GIANTS WIN

GIANTS WIN

GIANTS WIN

Take THAT, you GAYTRIOTS!

My first of two wishes has been granted this year. The Giants did it for AMERICA. They did it for AMERICA (I can imagine Stephen Colbert saying that)

Embarrassingly, I starting crying when the Giants got the last touchdown of the game. I was just so happy the Patriots' perfect season was marred, and because, the suspense had been broke. That was probably the most suspenseful Super Bowl I have EVER SEEN.

Giants Defense: YOU HAVE STOLEN MY HEART. Thank you. Thank you for keeping Brady in check.

Giants, thank you from learning from your mistakes.


I can go to bed happy. :) <3

EDIT:



PLIE! I SAID, PLIE! NOW DANCE!

SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL SUPER BOWL

Eli Manning >>>>>>>> Tom Brady

That's pretty much all I'm going to say.

And since Brady is a giant pansy (dude he almost always throws a fit every time someone touches him on the field, and he looks like he about to throw a four-year old's temper tantrum when he gets sacked, crying and all), I'm going to forever associate him with that Tom Jones song "She's a Lady" or Aerosmith's "Dude Looks Like A Lady." I would say Denis Leary's "Asshole" too, but I would never associate someone as cool as Denis Leary with Tom Brady.

here's hoping for a Giants superbowl, all the way!

Oh, and since the pregame shows are always lame, I'll be watching Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet instead of that. PUPPY BOWL <3

http://myespn.go.com/s/conversations/show/story/3187786

Wow, Hateriots fans appalled at such a prediction? My word!

Half of these jackasses sound like they would line up to smoke Belichick's cock. God I hate the Patriots, and Patriots fans. No, New England isn't invincible, you cocksmokers. They have every potential to go down on Saturday.

You think the Jags can't do it? Well, Baltimore almost did. BALTIMORE. Shitty-ass 4-12 BALTIMORE. The only reason they lost that game is because they got called for four penalties totaling 35 yards at the end of the game, including throwing an official flag INTO THE STANDS (seriously, did that retard on the Ravens think he was going to get away with that?!)

Hell, the Giants could have done it a couple of weeks ago if Eli Manning didn't choke.

I think the Jags can do it. You know I'll be watching :D C'mon Jags...do it for AMERICA

Yay, the Jaguars won.

PATRIOTS YOU HAVE MET YOUR MATCH! Prepare to go down, Brady (you jackass)!

Love, sexandpolitics

This icon is how I feel this week --

FUCK DA EAGLES

I'd like one of my Christmas presents to be the Saints going to the playoffs. I'd like the Giants to lose out. Redskins need to TAKE DOWN THE VIKINGS. And most importantly, the Saints' need to kick the Eagles' asses.

I'm kinda worried about this game, as the Eagles beat a strong Cowboys team (I'm going to blame Jessica Simpson for being in attendance and Tony Romo trying to fight off a boner or something). Hopefully, it's a fluke, but it's really hard to predict how Eagles game will go in general.

I will be watching ESPN's website nervously on Sunday... go Saints :)

I knew it was probably going to be inevitable. We now have a bitch manager.

One of our very awesome managers got rotated out, and has been replaced by a woman who tries way too hard to be some kind of power-tripping "leader" without actually being a leader. Yelling at me ain't going to solve anything, it ain't going to help me, and it certainly ain't gonna help her.

She also is in no power to judge the work ethic of my associates and I only being there for two days. She tried to get me to work off the clock and I wasn't having any of that. If she pushed it any further I would have cursed her out and threatened her with a complaint to the state's Department of Labor, because you...kinda can't make anyone work when they're off the clock. I don't know how she did things at your previous store, but in our store and everywhere else around the United States, that's illegal.

Fuck me. Is it a sign that I need to be moving on?

Yeah, break the guilty trammels from yesteryear. Remember how the taste of failure makes it all clear. The lowly opportunists take commanding roles, and hawk ultimatums so their weakness won't show. -- Bad Religion

...

It also doesn't help my mood that the Saints blew the fucking game they should have won. All because of a RETARDED RETARDED RETARDED play in the last five minutes. Who do they think they are, the Redskins? (who also blew their game today)

ATTN: USF football

Had a today?

You played like shit in the first quarter. Absolute shit. You played so shitty in the first quarter that you couldn't come back. The last minute was fucking heartbreaking, hence, "Butterfinger"

Fucking hell. Your Titanic, the ship that was rumored to be unsinkable, has sunk. Right now the band is playing the last song and Captain Smith is saying his last prayers as your ship sinks into the chilly depths of the Atlantic Ocean.

At least the Gators are done, too.

Bad news: USF forgot how to play football :(

Good news: Ladies and gentlemen, THE SAINTS ARE BACK! Now, if only Bright House started carrying NFL Network...

Fucking USF. WHYYYYYYYY did you play like shit after the first quarter, and thus, lose to an unranked Rutgers?

Also, the fucking refs in that game were totally biased towards Rutgers. I bet Rutgers paid them off.

Pushy salespeople in the mall,
You are a main reason why I prefer to shop online. You aren't attracting me to your wares by being a pushy asshole. Learn to take a hint, and go fuck yourselves.

JcPenney,
Advertising your sales goals on the intercom is totally unclassy and crass. I guess I can see what your priority is.

New Orleans Saints,
Please win tomorrow. Please. Pretty please? I know you're a scrappy lil' team and have always been, but you haven't had a start this bad in years. Get it together. Please ditch Olindo Mare, he can't kick. Bench Drew Brees if you have to. C'mon, the Bears benched Rex Grossman and look how much better they're doing without him!

Victoria's Secret at Westshore Mall,
Oh, so you remodeled your store! And look...it looks more like a strip club than it did previously. Neon signs and everything! Maybe if you got some pole dancers from Mons Venus (come on they're down the street, take advantage of it) and added a bar, then maybe I'd come in. Maybe. Those strippers might even be better salespeople than the uppity turds that Victoria's Secret currently hires.

USF Bulls,
You're awesome. Keep up the good work.

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess,
Stop being so addictive.

College,
Stop feeling like I'm back in the tenth grade. WHY DO I FEEL LIKE I'M IN HIGH SCHOOL AGAIN.



Also, I get my wisdom teeth pulled on Wednesday and I'm ridiculously nervous about it. :(

C'mon Saints, you're breaking my heart. If you lose to Seattle I'm giving up and just following USF instead. This is from someone who wasn't all that interested in college football until her prospective school, with a scrappy lil' football team, started kicking ass.

Why must you disappoint me so :(

I'm looking forward to seeing the Saints kick the Panthers' asses on Sunday. Because you know they will. Just watch.

And if nobody's showing it here I'm going to be pissed. For serious.

I never thought the day would come when I would actually pay an iota of attention to college football.

Well...

go South Florida! A decade ago, they barely had much of anything (literally). Today, they're ranked #6. It's nice to see a scrappy, upstart team make it big.