Mary Jane's Last Dance

I've had nightmares two nights since Saturday, and both involve the same subject: My wedding.

In my nightmare Saturday night, every worst-case scenario in my wedding happened. But that wasn't all. It looked like that scene from Beavis and Butthead Do America, when Beavis and Butthead were tripping on peyote in the desert.

On Sunday, somehow my weeding reception turned into some freaky bar mitzvah. Not only that, the photographer completely missed the ceremony because he got stuck in the drive-thru line at McDonald's. About two-thirds of the way through my dream, it turned into some sort of video game or something like it. I was split into two different characters -- one that looked just like me and a tall blonde girl named Jessica.

During one scene of it, therein lay two paths. One named "Terror" and one named "Humor." Naturally, which one did you think I picked? However, what I thought lay ahead wasn't the case. Their roles were reversed. Terror was humor, humor was terror. Jessica went through a great ordeal with a bevy of monsters. I was waiting outside the doors of the two pathways, waiting for my next assignment. I eventually had to rescue Jessica from flesh-ripping skeletons.

Then I (we) chose the other path named "Terror" (which really was "Humor") and I...didn't know what to make of it. It was certainly better than skeletons and big ogres wielding spiked clubs, though. We were floating. We were floating through the air, as if gravity didn't matter and weight wasn't an issue. We were floating though a gigantic ballroom. There were all sorts of people in formal wear getting rowdy..perhaps a bit too rowdy.

And then I woke up.

I again had another nightmare-of-sorts, the second one in a row this week.

This one started out with me looking for a second job. I found one in the form of a waitress at "The Chop House". I arrived five minutes early with wings from a restaurant a few doors down because I had not eaten in over a day. I was led to the basement of the establishment by a scared-looking tall blonde guy in a red apron. He pointed to the wings and told me to hide them, because the boss was a "huge jerk."

The day was spent watching training videos on a computer. Eventually the boss, a huge balding fat guy, comes out. He smells wings and finds them. "Oh hell no!" he bellows. He finds the wings under a table. "You're going to pay for that." He hands me a piece of paper that looks like a bill.

"For that infraction, we get to take some of the best cuts of meat here for ourselves" -- points to him and the scared blonde guy, who I assume is a manager of some sort -- "and you get to pay for it."

The blonde guy shakes his head frantically. "No, no, no, I don't want anything to do with this." he stammers.

"SHUT UP! I DIDN'T ASK YOU!" the fat boss yells within inches of his face.

I take a look at the paper. $700 was the quoted price. $700? Jesus Christ. (You fatass.)

"She...she didn't know any better, give her a break, it's her first day." the blonde guy whimpers.

The boss grabs the blonde guy by the collar. "DIDN'T I TELL YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

I felt like shit. I didn't want to be there any longer...but I needed the money. But how the hell was I supposed to get anything with this huge bill for a ridiculous "infraction" that I knew nothing about? Was this a form of slave labor?

I stayed until my time was up. I came back the next day, and the restaurant was empty. The blonde guy sat on one of the tables in the basement, hands folded, looking nervous.

"I...I think I'm going to quit." I say to the blonde guy.

"I kinda figured you would. Everyone does. Nobody lasts longer than a week. I give up on bringing new people here. ...In fact, I think I give up, too."

The blonde guy is sweating bullets.

"The rest of you are nice. You, the two girls upstairs, it's just that I can't work under a tyrant."

The boss steps out from a dark room.

"I hear you. And you missy, you have a bill to pay. You can't leave here without paying your bill in full."

I finally get the courage to defend myself. "This is ridiculous and against the law. I am under no obligation to pay this."

"We'll see about that. I'll take you to court."

"Well, if you're going to do that, I'll countersue. In fact, I can see about getting a class-action lawsuit placed against you and your so-called business."

I march out and the blonde guy is hesistant to walk out. Eventually, he does.


The second portion of my dream has me driving through Broad Street in Richmond. Everything is boarded up and decayed. Hooters is gone. Westland is gone, the iconic cactus sign broken in half. It looks kind of like Silent Hill. All of the cars are a dull color, except for one, a white van with doodles on it. It makes a U-turn, towards some form of life. I follow it.

Then I woke up.



It's strange how I can remember my dreams in vivid detail.

I keep having strange dreams that leave me sleeping into noon because I want a conclusion.

Last night's dream:

In the dream, there was a legend that if you found a bunch of small golden eggs (these eggs were about the same size as those palmer's eggs they have at Easter in those little packets) it would bring you (and very well, the community, I think) good luck.

I was on the beach building a sand castle. I dig in th sand and find a black billfold with an old black-and-white portrait and ten small golden eggs. Suddenly, people show up around me and take me to this church-like building. Apparently I had to swallow one of the golden eggs for whatever reason (luck I think). Then there was a bunch of dancing. It was like a giant square dance where there was a lot of spinning around with arms outstretched grasping other's hands.

My aunt was there and she gave me a rabbit. Then the leaders of this church or whatever it was handed out puppies. Then I woke up.

So, I got my wisdom teeth taken out yesterday.

I was extremely nervous. The night before, I kept having a repetitive dream with a quiz show host and contestants climbing up a spiral staircase when they got a question right. Very, very repetitive. I couldn't sleep properly.

When I got to the dentist's office, my legs were shaking. I was extremely nervous.

When they were ready for me, they gave me some nitrous to calm me down. I was getting IV sedation and everyone knows how I HATE HATE HATE needles. It helped. Nitrous is funnnnnn.

Then I got the IV put into my arm and it felt cold. Then, I went under just as quick. I didn't feel a thing going on at all. I was surprised when they woke me up and I didn't have a clue as to what they just did. The only thing I could feel was my tongue being really numb.

Now, I'm sitting at home, high as a kite on Vicodin (otherwise, my mouth hurts) and probably might write some English papers (yeah right, I'm just going to play Zelda)