I learned a long time ago not to hope for things. I've been lightening up on that as of late for some stupid reason. Here I thought I'd actually go to New York? New York! I thought I'd actually get to see that beautiful city with the bright lights and the wonderful streets that sing.

I thought I'd get to see broad way. I thought I'd get out of this little green box and actually live life for once.

Mother disappointed me the first time. She said it was too dangerous and canceled my 16th birthday trip.

I never thought I'd get another chance.

Well, I got another chance. I got one. It was right there. I had the money. I was so hopeful. I was going to go to New York! It was impossible that I could go, but somehow, I could!

Today my dream trip was canceled.

I learned a long time ago not to hope for things. Because hoping hurts.

I told mum it got canceled just a few minutes ago. She said, "HURAAY! We can fill up the oil tank now!"

The money I was using wasn't effecting her getting any oil, and did she ever stop to consider how badly those words hurt? She could have at least said, "Oh, I'm sorry!" Or something appropriate like that.

But I learned not to hope for that either.