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scarecrows (7830)

the night belongs to us
try and understand the way i feel under your command

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Proserpina

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1987-01-11

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..The Woof Cafe..
The bittiest, babiest woof in use. He's still trying to find some way to tell his Siri that he looves him. Pick him up and cuddle him because he's scared of all the other woofs.

The bittiest, babiest woof in use. He's still trying to find some way to tell his Siri that he looves him. Pick him up and cuddle him because he's scared of all the other woofs.

The little, Fables era woof. Pet him and love him because his Siri won't. Which is silly because he's even shaved.

The meeeean woof. Bap him and squirt him with water for he rapes a small Siri as often as he can. Even though he does it out of love...

The GoF woof, who is the same as the post-PoA one, but we've finally acknowledged that this is what we should have called him all along. He has some chocolate (a Wonka bar, actually) because chocolate fixes everything. The bar (although nibbled) is for his Siwi.

The older woof, who is actually a year younger than the PC one. Hm. He still unofficiall helps run the place and has not one but TWOOO SIRI, one of which is vampire.

The Perfect Circle woof. He tried to run away from home after feeling bad about being bad. But he and Siri are going to be parents so someone please tell him to come back, now. Oh, and bap him if he tells you he's 'hip.'

The real, authentic OotP woof. When the GoF woof grows up, this is who he will be. For the moment, his Siri is considerably better and that makes him happy. Unfortunately, he has to go away to forests and caves to bother mean werewolves about considering being nice instead. He needs a hot bath and a glass of wine, perhaps. Will either grow up to be the older woof or...Sam and Rhys.

The older Curt Wild, who refuses to own up to being a woof... Feel very sorry for him, but don't tell him you do, because he will only grumble and tell you to buy him onion rings. And don't try to hit on him for he is as-close-to-married-as-can-be to Jackie.

Raul, who technically isn't Remus, but still a woof and bears a striking resemblance. He hails from...all over, really, but originally from Halloweentown. Marvel, from a safe distance, at how embarrassing he is. And don't touch his coffee mug.

William 'Bootstrap Bill' Turner, another semi-woof like Raul. Adore him. No one else does. Even if he doesn't look like Jesus anymore.

Edward Bloom, who strangely also bears a resemblance to the rest of the woofs. Go figure, there must be some kind of weird, unintentional pattern here. Listen to his silly stories and feel bad that he's still learning his woof programing while trying to deal with being trapped in a strange place.

Obi-Wan, who is not a woof at all (save for a little in personality) but still bears enough of a resemblence to one to be stuck right in here. He teaches history and AP literature to high schoolers. And lives with Anakin. Fear for his sanity.

Aziraphale, a celestial woof. He likes hot chocolate, Oscar Wilde, and a demon. If there was a movie about him that wasn't called Good Omens, it would be called SNAKES ON AZIRAPHALE.

Michael Strangewayes, whose name you are jealous of. He is a...wait for it...VAMPIRE. But if you peek behind his fluffy hair, which he won't let you, you'd see that he has little woofy ears. He has a pretty girlfriend who used to be a queen and a pretty boyfriend who bleeds from where his eyes used to be. If he loves anything else as much as he loves them, it's books. I'm jealous.

Dr. Sam Foster, who is a dream. Well, two, actually. And somehow, they've crossed over and he needs to figure out why and how he's really actually a woof. He has a pet crazy person, a new roomate he needs to fix, and - secretly - a cop boyfriend. Someone please by him normal pants and SOCKS.

Dr. James Wilson, also known as Wonder Wilson! He diagnoses your cancer from a mile away! He makes lunch and...does his best to defend it! He cares for an almost unmanageable, impossible boyfriend! And still has time to be theoretically part woof! All in a day's work.

Dan Dreiberg / Nite Owl II. Look to your left. IT'S THE SAME GUY!

Alan Golding, former child actor, current WONDER WILSON. Well, you know. Kind of. Three RSLs, man. That means someone gets their very own row, now! =)

Rhys, who is a woof to contradict all woofs. The other woofs suspect he's part Siri, but they would be wrong. He is just evolved. Thank goodness for evolution through reincarnation. Love him because he is FUZZY! and believes in coffee, but not sweaters.

Regan, who - in a comparatively recent trend - bears striking resemblence to Rhys and is, yes, also a woof. Stay away from his hands, though, because he's a mutant with spazzy, untrained powers. So he can't touch anything. Which explains the hair and the spectacular gnome beard.

Ryan, who is not gnome variation. He is THE gnome. He likes coffee and corporations, but dislikes head and wrist trauma. Fear for his sanity and life, for his slutty, mean boyfriend got him stuck in the House on the Rock. At least they'll have other people to talk to...

The teeny gnome, who is celebrating his first year out of high school. He'll drink and smoke too much if you let him. He'll also flip your car and kill your kids. And then make out with the little one who <3ths him back!

The AU gnome, handyman by day (to pay rent), bartender by night (to pay off legal and insurance bills). He has a despicable ex-girlfriend who keeps him away from their little daughter and a boyfriend who he thinks he has to keep paying, in order to keep seeing him. Pet him, but keep him away from cars.

The current gnome. This is now, now. He's got cars to work on, ok? He can't do silly things like 'come home at night' or 'hang out with his boyfriend'.

Prix!Rhys, who is not too much unlike actual Rhys. This one just isn't a werewolf (though he won't mind if you call him Bigby). Or English. Or a teenager. And creates amazing noir comics, like Sin City and The Dark Knight Returns. But he does have an almost-bf named Sofi. So...that's something!

Jonathan Crane. He used to be a psychopharmocologist, but most of the time, he's just a little kid in a straight jacket, trying to force himself to have, alternately, narcolepsy and insomnia. He WILL FEARDRUG!!!pwn you if you get to close. If he can.

Louis De Pointe Du Lac, the world famous emopire. Like most things who live here, he has a silly, slutty boyfriend who he loves very much. Sometimes he's a little crazy, he's almost always very emo, but right now, he is happy because his boyfriend has rescued him from the mess that is currenly New Orleans. Offer him dry clothes and a warm place to sleep.

Orin Dorny, whose first name does start with a 'J', despite the fact that he never uses it. He's in RAVENCLAW, you idiots, not Slytherin, as people usually assume things who look like this are. Hmff. He has little pet Hufflepuff muggleborn who is trying to help him pass Prof. Canning's class. Please, he asks of you, don't bring up vampires around him.

Noel Bailey, not-nearly-famous-enough rockstar. He helped his boyfriend make one of the coolest albums in existence and makes a really beautiful girl. Buy his albums, he's fluffy and sings like Bowie.

Luran Tryturus, casual theif & gambler, but more importantly, Anakin's right-hand man in an awesome Star Wars AU. He used to be a slave, but he's in the middle of an uprising. And yeah, I know he looks like a little girl. Sometimes you just can't help that. Support his cause, but don't let him too close to your pocketbooks.

Robin Doyle, who will scratch your eyes out if you call him the 'token gay kid' from American Idol. Simple as that. Uh, and you should (have) totally voted for him because he sings better than everyone.

Jim Sheridan, battler of zombies and former bike courier. Mysteriously scruffy for a lady.

Dr. Robert Chase, the cute Australian. Also, he is a small child.

Chance Fairchild, Broadway star and son of an insufferable mother. Give him a big squish because he thinks he's serious business. But, come on, he's a bb.

Collin Sri'Vastra, the would-be ruler of Nicazuela and MAIN CHARACTER of Friendly Hostility. Or something like that. If I was more srs bsnss, I might be him. If he'd be sillier, he might be me. Either way, we still totally go together.

Mark Cohen, who makes movies, plays with puppies, and creates havoc of varying degrees when prompted to by his friends. He does not do drunken karaoke anymore, though. He loves his scarf, but not as much as he loves his camera, and nowhere near as much as he loves Roger.

Elphaba, who is only 'wicked' when she feels like it. She prefers books and Animals to people, the only exception being her Fiyero. You can love her, anyway, though, because she can sing like no other and isn't terribly fond of water.

The Corinthian, who is the second Corinthian that Dream has made. This one loves Daniel and isn't as evil-ish as the first. He will eat your eyes, if you aren't careful. So be nice to him, and don't take his sunglasses.

This are serious Heero Yuy. He is serious Gundam pilot.

Cassidy Johnson, skateboarder, Knight of Red, and captive of White. Most badass ten-year-old girl you've ever met. Will grow up to be even cooler and be part of an amazing family.

Trixie, who will seriously break your spine in half if you try to mess around with her boyfriend. That means you, Rex. She loves Speed, the colour pink, and helicopters. She does not like working at H&M.

Shilo Wallace, who is no longer trapped in her room, but rather freed and, chances are, cuddling up to her wonderful grave-robbing boyfriend as we speak!

Mobile, the incredibly psychic boyfriend of Wallace Wells. Together, they are the two least hateable characters in the Scott Pilgrim series.

I hate ~*Twilight*~, but Jasper is fucking adorable so you all shut the fuck up.

Stuart, who is not even remotely like a woof. I could swear that he is not Greg Sanders in a Ravenclaw uniform. But I might be lying if I did. Give him a cookie and pat him on the head if he tries to seduce you. He means well.

Benjy Canning, but that's Professor Canning, to you students. That's right, whether you'd allow him to or not, this boy teaches Muggle Studies to your kids. Be afraid. Be very afraid. But love him, anyway, if not just because he bears a striking resemblence to Knoxville.

William Turner, Jr. HTF did you get in, sir? Well. Here he is. Probably on his MySpace, hopelessly trying to win Liz's love. Chances are, you'll feel ridiculously endeared to him, too, soon. Even if he is listening to DragonForce on that iPod...

Brandon does not live here. Neither does Andy. But rumour has it that they've been stealthily sneaking in through the back room for snacks. There is no way in to the back room. There is no nineteenth floor.

Eddie Haight, part-time rockstar & movie director, full-time husband (and father!) & club owner. He loves New York, horror movies, and - above all - his wife and amazing baby. He loves Los Angeles considerably less.

Sgt. Donny Donowitz, but you might know him better by his nickname: the Bear Jew. He's got nazi skulls to smash and a boss to hero-worship, so you'd best be getting out of his way.

Brad March, host of AotS and professional nerd! Can be found frequenting comic book stores, horror cons, and Medieval Times on any given day of the week. Do two Elis count for their own row? Hm. Something to think on.

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