Whatever you say, Joe.

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Fine. I want to hire you for babysitting.

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No.

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Yes. Dammit, Alicia. I will pay you one night of baby sitting. You can baby sitting my fucking teddy bear. I just want to spend some time with you.

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No. I'm not letting you give me money.

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What you're telling me is that there's no way for me to get a night alone with you?

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I'm not going to take your money, Joseph. I'm sorry I have to work, but that's just how it is.

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I'm trying to hire you for ONE FUCKING NIGHT, Alicia. I want to see you ONE night. I want to have my girlfriend on my arm for one fucking party. Is that too much to ask? Either take a night off or let me hire you for something asinine. Wouldn't you RATHER spend time with me?

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You're trying to HIRE your GIRLFRIEND? Do you not see how fucking disgusting wrong that is? You can't just throw your money at me like that. I WORK for the money I earn.

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Fine. COME CLEAN MY ROOM! It needs it. I don't want to do it. I'll pay you. Then we can spend some time together and you can still buy groceries.

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How is it spending time together if I'm cleaning your room? Just... no. If you want to see me, you can come over after my shift, okay? Mom's working the late shift all week, not that she'd care much anyway.

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Whatever. I'm so sick of having a girlfriend that never wants to spend time with me.

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Why don't you find yourself another one if I'm not good enough for you then!

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WHY CAN'T YOU JUST SPEND ONE FUCKING NIGHT WITH ME?

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WHY CAN'T YOU JUST COME OVER AFTER I GET OFF WORK?

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Fine, Alicia. Have it your fucking way.

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You know what? On second thought, don't come over. I don't want to see you if you're going to act like an asshole.

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On what planet does it make me an asshole to WANT to spend time with my girlfriend?

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You're guilting me because I have to WORK. I can't just blow my clients off. It makes you an asshole to cuss me out over it when I'm TRYING to find a fucking compromise.

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Like I said, Alicia, we'll do it your way. It's always your way.

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Whatever.

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