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[Jun. 3rd, 2009|12:16 pm] |
| [ | A Bit of the Old Ludwig Van |
| | dredg- Mourning This Morning | ] |
I've been having conversations with multiple people lately about drugs, and this has been on my mind a lot lately, so I figured I'd type it out and see if I could get it out of my head.
I have no problems one way or another with drug users or people who don't use drugs. It's a choice, like most other things in life. You can choose to do drugs or not. If you do choose to do drugs, you can choose to what extent you do them. You can choose which drugs you do, when you do them, how you do them, who you do them with, among other things. Doing drugs or not doing drugs does not make you better than anyone else one way or another. I know a few straight edge kids who think they're like, the next coming of Christ because they don't drink or do drugs. Maybe to some, it makes you smart for not drinking or doing drugs. But it damn sure doesn't make you better than anyone else. Smart, logical, and all that are simply matters of perspective.
I drink. Anyone here who knows me knows I drink alot. Even if you dont' know me, I'm sure you can gather I'm a guy who likes to drink just from reading my entries. But what alot of people don't know is for a while, in high school, I was a drug addict. I had a pill addiction for about 6 months in high school. It's probably because of my nature that I'm willing to try things without much regard that I did. I had a span where I was hooked on Vicodin and Valium. It was pretty scary, but at the same time, I kinda liked it. There are times now where I wish I could go back to it, because I really miss that feeling sometimes. That feeling of numb, floating, careless haze. Where nothing matters, because you can't feel anything.
One of my best friends was a drug addict. I'm not gonna name who, even though it doesn't matter because no one knows him anyway. He was alot worse off than I was. He did it for years, to the point where he was wasting away. He did everything. Coke, heroin, weed, shrooms, acid, ecstasy, and probably alot more. And it was scary. He had the good sense to finally stop, before he did an permanent damage to himself, but still. It's not something you want to see your friend go through. And for most people, this would be a reason to be like, "Well, I'm never touching drugs again". Not me. Not him. At least to an extent. I'm still rather curious about some drugs. I would love to try hallucinogens. Just reading about people like Jim Morrison, Aldous Huxley, and Hunter Thompson, people who almost revolutionized acid, made it something more than a hippie drug, it makes me curious. I'm not saying I would do it all the time. Maybe I'd hate it. Who knows. But I know I wanna try it at least once.
I totally lost the rest of what I was gonna say. Shit. . |
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| Comments: |
i've done x, shrooms, acid, weed, alcohol, some pills, over the counter drugs. i tried it. it wasn't amazing. it didn't turn out to be some amazing thing. it didn't open my eyes or show me new sides of myself. it made me care about different things, mostly about puking. i had to focus on what was happening right then, that's all. & that of course was puking my guts out.
yeah, i had some decent times on drugs but i could have more fun drunk. & without puking. would i do them again? nah. acid i would never ever ever ever do again because it wasn't even ME. & yeah i'm in a good mood most of the time but i'm such a worry wart that i can't do acid. acid is not for people who worry because then you become a person who cries during the come down off of it, which lasts hours. & the come down is why people keep using more drugs. because they pop a new one to avoid the come down. because it's terrible. it's the worst thing you can ever experience.
i somehow achieve a numb, floating, careless haze
all by myself ;-;
♥
things are put on this earth for us to experience, and we're all different people. that's really my whole stance on drugs . . . i don't really feel compelled to use them. though i can say that hallucinogens are probably fascinating.
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