Tish Tomasi

Oh good.

I thought that someone had broken into my apartment, stole half a pack of my cigarettes, and then left their luggage all over my living room. It's just you.

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I missed you too, bitch.

Do you not eat? I've got a wicked case of munchies and there's nothing in the damn fridge.

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I'm sure.

I had food, but Mark and a few of his friends came over the night before last. I haven't been able to go grocery shopping since then.

By the way, Mom and Dad have been calling for you for about the past... oh, month. Might want to give them a call.

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That fucker's still bumming around town? I'd rather talk to him than Mom and Dad. What was your story this time?

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He left for Chicago last night to visit his friend, but said he'd be back in a week or two. Well, you've got his cell phone number, so give him a call?

I told them that you've had mono, and all you've been doing is sleeping.

So what is your story? Sell anymore crack babies?

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Aw, I miss the big lug. What's going down in Chicago? Do I want to know?

Oh, how sad for me.

That's funny, V. No, I hadda go see a guy about some things...and you know how these things go... And I lost track of time. Rio was lovely, though. Very colorful.

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All I heard was he was stopping by Uncle Trey's while he's up there, so yeah, you probably don't want to know.

I'm sure they'll be excited to hear about your miraculous recovery. Which they better hear about soon, because I'm sick of fielding their calls. Hint hint. Nudge nudge.

Some things? Right. Damn those things. Rio, now? How the hell did your scrawny ass end up down there? Obviously your pimp is being rather generous these days.

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Oh fun. Maybe I'll give them a call. Maybe after Mom and Dad. Or before.

I dunno, it just kind of happened. I was at this party, see. And it kind of kept going. It's not that far. Only a sea, not even a full ocean or anything. It didn't feel far at all, and then I was gone for like a month, maybe. It's still June, right?

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Yep. Call Mom and Dad first, because if I have to listen to Mom's home remedies anymore... I'm going to kill something.

It's June 25th, so yeah, it's still June. Just barely. I hope you had fun, because there is a sinkful of dishes that need to be done! Welcome home, little sister!

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You can kill whatever's scratching at the wall. It's really annoying me.

Yeah, okay. They might get done before July. Maybe. But maybe not definitely.

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There's nothing scratching at the wall, you're just losing your mind. Tell me how that goes, yes?

I can hardly wait to actually see this get accomplished, though I'm not getting my hopes up too far.

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Good to see you're back, T.





So.


How long is it gonna take for you to get bored with us this time?

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Don't worry, sugar. I won't snatch you guys' fun away again.

I'm actually pretty excited to be back. It feels like something's coming. Like lightning. Wouldn't want to miss it.

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We'll wonder how we ever managed to get by without you.


That's...good, I guess?

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One of life's great mysteries.

Maybe. I don't know. That's why I'll maybe stick around. To find out.

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Along with 'who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?'.

Gotcha. You let me know how that works out.

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It was the mouse, you know. The one that liked cookies. Or maybe at your house it's just Deslin.

I will. If I see the lightning. Maybe I've missed it already, though I don't think so. Do you know about atmospheric electromagnetism? Trippy stuff. Russell, will you tell me if you see it and I don't? But I bet even if I don't see the lightning and if you don't see it either, we'll all hear the thunder.

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Crack is whack, in case you haven't heard.

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You'd know.

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Only as well as you would, sis.

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Guess this means you're not dead? I think that's to be commended.

Welcome back, T.

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No. Silly. Not yet, anyway.

Thanks, Cove. It's good to be home.

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I surely hope you brought souvenirs back. At least one of those 'I went to [blank], and all I got was this shitty shirt' shirts.

Looks like this calls for a celebration. I'm thinking jump castles, fruit punch and balloon animals.

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I didn't see any there. But they speak a lot of languages, so there might've been one in something other than English. I don't know. The only Portuguese I learned was, Desculpe, onde fica o quarto de banho?

Can there be a pinata?

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Portuguese? No shit. I have no damn clue what the means, so you'll have to enlighten me. I can say a few curse words in German, and that's about it.

Filled with assorted goodies? But of course. It's not a party without a pinata.

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It means 'Can you please tell me where the bathroom is?' Very important stuff. I don't know any German, but then, I've never been anywhere they would speak it.

Oh, good. I love candy, it makes the rainbows so much more fun.

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I will have to remember that if I ever find myself in Portugal with the need to piss. Neither have I, but it was the required language courses I took in high school. Not that I could conjugate a verb to save my life, but it was a good way to help pass two years of my life.

You and your damned rainbows. It if not the rainbows it's the halos, or the twinkles... What the shit are we supposed to do with you?

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Or Brazil. They speak Portuguese there. But also a lot of Spanish and some English too. The Latin they taught me in school wouldn't really help, so I think it's a good thing I don't remember any of it.

Catch up to me, clearly.

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Brazil, excuse me. I digress, if I'm ever in Portugal or Brazil I'll remember that in case I need to piss. Schooling, hah.

Is that a challenge? Because I really don't think that will be too hard, lightweight.

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It's only a challenge if you want to take it that way, sugar.

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...there goes the neighborhood.



Glad to see you made it back in one piece, Tomasi.

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