Finally back at work! Fuck, my first day was fantastic. I filmed with this super-hot and kind of retarded chick named Ino, who I really don't fucking like very much, and I ended up kicking her ass. And then I fucked her into the floor. Don't know when the DVD's gonna be out, but the director's already talking about sequels. God, I fucking love my job, I really do. I got paid as if it was overtime because he "appreciated my passion for my work" or some shit like that, so I got a new drumset. It's fucking beautiful, it really is. I kept everyone in my apartment building up for hours until someone actually came through on their threat to call the cops and the police showed up at my door telling me to shut the hell up. Fuck me, seriously. I love my life.

Ino, baby, I swear. You are totally not everything that is wrong with women. I don't know what the hell you are, and I know I don't like you, but seriously. Your existence has made me happier than I have been since I got my authentic Gibson '69 Flying V Strat, and for that, I thank you. You ever need anyone's ass kicked, need some stalker boyfriend or fan or whatever fucked up? Anything, baby, I'll fuckin' rip them a new ass.