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Have you ever had those days where you just really want to write something, really really bad (or if you don't write, then the equivalent to that, whatever it is you do...) but when you get a little tiny spark of something in your brain, when you sit down to fully form it, it just doesn't work out? Thats how I've been since yesterday. I REALLY want to write something, anything, and its just not happening. I know you aren't supposed to force these things, but its been ages since I've written, and its starting to drive me insane. It makes me feel useless, because I know I'm good at writing, and its not happening. Another problem with my writing is that I wish I were more versatile. I wish I could write something that everyone enjoyed, not just certain groups of people. I've got close close friends who will never read some of the things I have written, or will write, because it just doesn't suit them, or they'd find it inappropriate. I could never let my own mother read half of the stuff I write. I write graphic, raunchy sex scenes, and I've heard I write them well.

I also wish I could take constructive critism better. I hate when I post one of my stories somewhere, and somebody gives it to me. When I read what they have to say, to me, its actually just ripping apart my story and forcing me to take away all the stuff that I personally like about it. Sometimes I can't even let my best friends read my things for fear of them ripping them apart. Well, thats not true, I just feel like that sometimes, I always let them read things, as long as they're willing. Usually what they have to say does end up helping me, but at first I just feel that everything I've written is shit.

I can't write "normal" things, whatever that is. And when I try to, it either turns out to be some really horrible teen story/novel, or something that is mimicking a different author, and everyone who reads it knows it. Like my novel that I wrote in 2006, I love it, completely, but when you read it, it just oozes Perks of Being A Wallflower. I don't know how to get away from that. It makes me feel like maybe I should never read another book/story ever, so I'm not tainted, but then I'd become all unintelligent and thats not cool. Its frustrating, totally.

I dunno...somebody inspire me. I thought that Ingrid Michaelson was inspiring me, but in the end I just sat here, staring at the blank page.