| update |
[Mon March 24th 2008|10:10pm] |
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mood |
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 sad |
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my grandmother my mom's mom passed away saturday morning before easter sunday it sucks...the image of her state when i seen her before she passed keeps popping in my head...i mean i've been 2 funerals already within the past 3 years....and i've seen dying people at least i did not get to see my other grandmother pass you know i mean i did but not like the degree as my mom's mom....
RIP
Barbara Jean Thompson
im tired of seeing death...
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| update depression |
[Sat March 8th 2008|11:24am] |
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mood |
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depressed |
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Im depressed and lonely and i just dont know what to do...I can't take this anymore...I did have potiential bfs but one guy decided to go ahead and tell me that he started to date someone and i was like uhh okay whatever at least he told me thats good...and this one guy is married i've liked him for the longest but i can't do anything about it because hes married and im not a home wrecker...
I did meet this one guy last night that i have been talking to for a bit...hes cute we made out but i dont know if he really likes me i dont know he said he does i guess i will have to be patient...but at the sametime if you just want a piece of ass or something then let me know so i can stop talking to you...but if he really is straight up which i hope then he would be a good candiate for a relationship...
then there is my friends brother but he lives in idaho i really like him hes cool and we talk a lot he says that hes coming here in june to visit i told him to move back to NC because in idaho he got mixed up with a bad crowd and hes unhappy there and he wants to be close to his sister (my friend) but doesnt want to leave his brothers kids alone because his brother is in jail for something that literally wasnt his fault...
I have no father and no mother....i know i have the rest of my family but i wish i had my parents maybe one day my dad will wake the fuck up until then i told him dont ever call me until you do and if doesnt ever wake up then he doesnt ever wake up and thats on him not me...Hes like you're going to dictate my life i'm not dictating your life im dictating my own and if you still want to lie and let some bitch manipulate you to erase your kids then so be it....shes no christian and she needs to check herself before she goes around saying that she is one. Anyways i dont want to work today...im tired of working on the wkends...you know what they did...for my schedule i have fuckin school next week and they have me working everyday during the week except for one day and im off saturday and then i work sunday night wtf....i have so much shit to do for school this is going to be hard im gonna be up late doing shit for the next 2 months until school ends....i know i have some important tests coming up and such....and 2 10 page papers due...FUCK!
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| quick update |
[Tue March 4th 2008|12:16am] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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well i moved into a new place i'm no longer at kristie's instead i moved in with one of her sister's sarah for the time being...it's alright so far i know that during the week the we are really never going to get to see each other matter of fact even on the wkends we are never going to see each other cuz i work at night on the wkends i just hope my new job doesnt make that a habit....but i have a feeling they are so that will soon be corrected
Dont know how i'm doing in school but im trying my best...and need to get the fuck out of fayetteville i hate it here people suck here....
im fuckin lonely and wish i had a boyfriend well im gonna go bed now i was just conducting some autobot business and now i'm tired...
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| What a f'n liar |
[Tue February 26th 2008|9:10am] |
Okay so i was talking to this guy like since 3 weeks ago...Everything sounded alright yeah know and he wanted to meet early and i didnt because i like to talk to people for a month or more weeks before i meet them...so i told him to come over to the house that im staying at for right now and he did....
And then his phone rings and hes like " Oh one of my soldiers got stomped on by a bull i have to go to the hospital" and i'm like okay...Ya know and then he shoots me a text and is like i'm coming back i'm like okay...
3 hrs goes by and he still has not come back so i text him and i'm like look are you coming or what b/c if you're not i'm going to bed i have to go to school tomorrow no answer...
I get no answer for a week until last night...He said that there ex gf's break ins for a week and etc. My friend and i were like YA RIGHT! so i was like look dude i'm fuckin 22 years old if you didnt like the way i looked or w/e then you should've told me...I dont fuckin believe that for a straight week that there for a weeks worth of break ins WHATEVER!
And he goes oh so you dont believe me? and i said NOPE...which is okay with me because he kind of lied to me about his height and i didnt know that he was skinny i mean hes a tiny person compared to me...like he is medium sized up top but his thighs are like as big at my arms if not a little bigger than my arms..and he wore cowboy boots and tight jeans and i'm not down with that...
but i was willing to look passed that but he done f'ed up now plus i dont we have stuff in common...we are totally opposite i dont like redknecks...the whole point of me typing this though is that he should've told the truth and i hate to be lied too....
anyways off to class
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| blah blah |
[Tue February 26th 2008|9:10am] |
So i got a comp. yesturday!! i'm excited about it because finally after like 7 years of wanting my own i finally got it!!!...and you know what the cool thing about it is...I dont have to pay for aol and i dont have to pay for wireless internet lol...
The reason why i dont have to pay for aol is because i already have an aol account set up and my dad didnt delete my account and i know thats the last thing on his mind so two people can be on the aol accounts at the sametime so technically he is still paying for aol lol...And i'm getting aol for free lol....haha...anyways i just think thats funny...
And well the wireless thing well i dont have to explain that lol.im such a cheap ass....lol
But the laptop is good for what im using it for mostly school and to play like 2 of my games which it's good for...
okay so i'm tired of this guy that i've been talking to asking me to get him free food at the place i work like look dude i dont know how many fuckin times i can tell you that i'm not doing it...
1. i'll get fired
2. im new at the place
3. i dont know you very well
4. even if i did know you like for years i still wouldn't get you free food
So i think i'm gonna stop talking to him because he is truly annoying me...I'm interested in this other guy though named Wes hes cute hes a Ranger in the military hes a Medic...i haven't met him yet but we've been talking...i think we are gonna try to meet up when he gets back from his leave because he just got back from iraq like last week...but so far he seems cool...but you never know...
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| friday night |
[Tue February 19th 2008|9:27am] |
So this wkend was fun i got so fucked up friday night....
my friend from cali is moving back here and she came back on friday and we all went out and got so drunk some friends of ours that we havent seen in FOREVER! where there and they were buying us shots and drinks and then my friend took it upon herself to ask people to buy us drinks...and they did lol...
I almost got into a fight with this dude who tried to take my beer telling me that it was his when it wasnt...we had a pitcher and i set my glass down to hug my friend i havent seen in like a year....And the dude grabs my beer and i'm like whoa wait a min,. dude thats mine and he kept saying it was his and i was like NO it's mine and then i was like you know what there is no use in arguing with someone who is ALREADy drunk cuz i had a good buzz going and he was ruining it i told him he could have it....
And then he decided to say some mean things to me that were un-called for and started to call me fat ass and stuff and simply turned around and said thank you i know i have a great ass its nice and firm and i'm sorry that you can't enjoy it.... So times goes by and i'm drunk at this point but not wasted yet....and he decided that he wanted to try and take my beer again thinking that i wouldn't notice...and i got sooooo FUCKIN angry....and curked out on him...and we started arguing he pushed me and no bouncers came so i took a pool stick and shoved it in his eye (now mind you i took a tequila shot of jose and that makes me very violent and i didnt intend to get violent but it just happened) and then kept beating him in the face with the pool stick the fat end because he was so drunk he fell when i hit him in the eye with fat part....
And then thats when the bouncers came and escorted both of us out and they were going to kick me out when my friends came over and told them what happened and one of the bartenders who i know came out and said that they seen the whole thing and vouched for me that the guy was fuckin with me the whole night and he got kicked out...
then one of his friends came up to me once i got back in the bar and told me that i better watch my back when i leave the bar...I didnt have my weapon on me like i normally cuz ever since i got robbed i started to carry a big gutting knife with me in my purse...i didnt even feel like dealing with his friends cuz i was trying to have a good night and i told this big black bouncer guy what his friends said the bouncer told them to leave lol....
but all in all great night!! i got 2 dudes numbers that look fairly decent i think i dont know cuz i was fuckin wasted around 1am lol....
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| update |
[Tue February 19th 2008|9:13am] |
Well right now i am still looking for a job around here and i'm staying with my friend till the end of feb. and then i move in with her sister during my spring break....
i'm kind of excited about but the downfalls are she is all about herself and she complains about the stupidest shit EVER and thats kind of annoying but she is being nice in letting me stay here until her husband comes back for deployment...I would rather live with her sister Nina and her husband josh but they have a really nice and i dont want my dog ruining their house and Nina is allergic to animals....
And as usual my dad is being a dick...
well that pretty much sums it up right now....
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| Packing |
[Wed February 13th 2008|12:10pm] |
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mood |
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I'm packing to move out of my house and go somewhere else....my mom is trying to get me a job at wal-mart she knows someone there that is looking for night cashiers and she needs 30 of them...so after my class i'm gonna go fill out an app and then tomorrow call her.....
I have so much junk in my room to throw away i even found my old dresses i used to wear when i was a baby isnt that crazy lol!! but i'm not throwing that away
My dad asked me if i was nervous about moving out and i said NO because i'm really not im just worried about the money situation....thats all i'm worried about....but if i get this job all my problems will be solved
i just wish he would wait until i'm done with this semester so i can move out at the beginning of may instead of now because it's just to much right now with school and everything he is such a selfish bitch
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| homeless |
[Mon February 11th 2008|9:34am] |
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mood |
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 frustrated |
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yeah so to sum it all up i'm prolly gonna be homeless in the next few days cuz my dad chose his "fiance" over his own daughter....i dont have a job and i've been looking and i have school to worry about i dont need this shit right now and i have no clue what i'm going to do
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| Bang bang it hurts |
[Thu February 7th 2008|9:16am] |
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mood |
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 calm |
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Got a shot yesturday and now my arm is really bruised and it hurts so bad....she just jammed it in really hard i mean really hard....
got a job now i just gotta wait for my background to come back i'm kind of excited about it!!
In other news...
Nothing i ever do ever sastifies my dad i got a fuckin job now get OFF MY BACK!!!
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| got a shot today |
[Wed February 6th 2008|11:32am] |
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mood |
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content |
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I got a booster shot today and it hurts like HELL!!! my arm is sooo numb....and it burns and stings.... :(
i got a job interview today after class wish me luck i hope it get it
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| Depressed |
[Mon February 4th 2008|12:31pm] |
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mood |
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aggravated |
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To sum it all up it's my fuckin father again i hope he dies....His fuckin "fiance" is a bitch and she needs to stay out of FAMILY affairs no you know what FUCK that i dont have a fuckin family i officially cut my dad out...which is why i can't wait to get a job and def. get the fuck out...one of my friends said they will rent a room out to me if i get a job....she is talking like 200 which isn't bad at all...so when i get a job i think i can do it....i just need that damn job first.....
My college sucks...it took them until now to tell me that i need a shot booster? And i've been going to the university since 2003...so if i dont get this shot they are going to drop all my classes next week....by the 15th....
I need a job i've been looking still no luck and it's a really big debbie downer....
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| So pissed about yesturday |
[Thu January 31st 2008|8:49am] |
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mood |
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infuriated |
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So i have finicial aid for school right and i could set up a bookstore account to get my books well i didnt get all my books at once because the lines were to long and some of my books were out of stock and i didnt know that you had until jan. 16th to get all your books before they close your bookstore account...
so i go up yesturday to get the rest of my books and the girl tells me it's closed all students accounts for bookstore are closed and i said well why did they do that knowing that people dont have the money to get books. And she said i dont know thats just what they do.
So i couldn't even get my books...so i go to up to student accounts and ask them if they could re-open it...and the lady goes you can wait for your refund check feb. 11 and i said well i need some of my books now...and she goes well i can't re-open it sorry...and i said well some of them were out of stock so i couldn't get them all at once...and she said sorry you'll have to pay money to get the rest and i said well i dont have the money thats why you have finicial aid to help students who can't afford it...
and she says well sorry but not my problem....she literally said that...and if anyone who knows me at that point i blew my top....i told her that she needs to get off her fat ass and do something that SHE can re-open my account if she wants to but YOU are just being a bitch. I dont have the money to get the rest of books and i dont even know if i'm getting a refund check....so i told her that i'm going to the DEAN to tell him what a useless piece of shit you are.
and then i walked out....So after i do this i'm going to write the Dean a formal letter stating how the people in Lumbee Hall are lazy and how they NEVER want to help anyone until they blow their LID.....
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| this past wkend |
[Mon January 28th 2008|9:32am] |
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mood |
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 accomplished |
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Well friday i went out with some friends i was suppose to meet this guy i have been talking to for like 2 years now weird huh well hes been deployed and such and AGAIN he bailed and i knew it was goin to happen so i was like meh whatever....
We went to this bar that was like a gaming thing for adults kind of reminded me of Lucky's in VA it was alright but the place was way to bright i wished they would've dimmed the lights a bit....And then i got mild case of food posioning and got sick so i was in the bathroom half the night lol....
then we went to this place called Skips it's like a bar/restraunt and our waitress SUCKED so hard....that place was set up like a place you would see in DC in like adams morgan or something....The bartender sucked she didnt know how to mix drinks properly i mean she really didnt know what she was doing....And then this guy i over heard him talk shit about me for no reason when i didnt even say anything to him but hi my name is carole whats yours....he was a friend of one of my friend's boyfriend....he was trying to see what girl he could hit on cuz there were 8 of us the only down fall was i was the only single girl and they were all married lol....
and i over heard his friend tell him oh well i think the other girls are married what about the girl in the middle shes got a cute face...and his friend goes yeah but fat girls have high blood pressure and i can't deal with that....I was like WTF in my head...so at first i didnt say anything i turned to my friend sarah and said i wanted to leave...and then i over heard the guy say something else about me...and then i couldn't take it i blew the fuck up....
I told him first of all i'm not fat i have curves and alot of guys like curves Second you're not even cute yourself you have a big jew nose and your eyes are to far apart and you're going bald, you are probably declared legally dwarf because you're so short and you prolly have a tiny dick but it's okay most people who are that short do...Third you are pretty pathetic TRYING to go after married chicks i guess you are one of those guys and Fourth...you are the scum of the earth so heres a drink for you...so i was being bold that night and took my drink which was a vodka and cran and poured it on his pants....IT WAS FUN! everyone started to laugh...but he was pissed and began to call me names like fat ass etc...with a smile on my face and said Yes i do have a nice ass thanks :)
And then they tried to make me apologize to him and i said NOPE he deserved what he got and i'm happy about it :) with a big fat smile on my face and then and then the waitress came over and asked if anyone would like anything else and i said SURE the FAT GIRL here would like a drink please...and she just looked at me all weird and was like wow okay lol....and sarah and kristie busted out laughing...
needless to say it turned out like a good night afterall minus the tiny dick bitch and me having food posioning at first....
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| My fuckin father is a McIDIOT |
[Fri January 25th 2008|12:26pm] |
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mood |
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My dad is declared an idiot again...i just dont know when he will get it...there are 6 billion people in the world and you're telling me you can't find someone better than your current "fiance"....BULLLSHITTTTT
my dad went out of town for like a day and rushed back home to see his "fiance" because she was texting him about how much she missed him blah blah mushy shit and when he came back and he was like okay are you coming over or would you like me to meet you somewhere so we can see each other she replied "Im busy i'm paying bills and going tanning"....WHAT A FUCKIN BITCH....
He got pissed of course and then when i came home he later told me that she was acting like cunt because she didnt want my dad to go on the ski trip that HE paid for....so my dad got all pissed and began to complain to me and i told him i didnt want to hear it anymore because he says the same shit and never follows through with what he says.....and they want to get married when they have been fighting for what 6 MONTHS NOW give me a fuckin break...I'M NOT GOING TO THEIR DOOMED FROM THE START WEDDING
so what does he do he gets pissed and storms out and says FUCK this i'm going to get my shit...and i said YEAH RIGHT....and he goes no for real..and i said OKAY WHATEVER....and guess what i was right did he come back with his shit? NEIN! he came back with them to spend the night so they can go to skiing today....
so my dad comes out and i'm watching tv and he rolls his eyes and i said i dont know why you're rolling your eyes you're doing it to yourelf and he goes....yeah i know...and i said well if you know then why are you doing it? and he just looked at me...and i said just shook my head and rolled my eyes.....and then like 20 mins. later i hear them have sex it's fuckin GROSS
then i go into the bathroom only to realize that the toliet it stuffed up with toliet paper and shit and i asked one of her kids who was in the bathroom last and they both lied and said not me and i said are you sure cuz i dont like to me lied to i said it's not a big deal if you stuffed up the toliet i'll show you how to use the plunger....and they both just looked at me....and i said so who did it? and they lied to me again.....so i just left the shit in the toliet....and then my dad comes out and asks whats wrong and i told him and he said how do you know it wasn't you...and i said
because i dont leave the toliet seat up after i use the toliet and they BOTH do and i haven't been home since 5pm so i know it wasn't me cuz i think i would know if i took a shit in the toliet....and he goes oh...but does he say something to them about it NEIN! and guess who plunged the nasty shit out ME....NO FUCKIN MORE I'M FUCKIN DONE!
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| Heath Ledger |
[Fri January 25th 2008|12:13pm] |
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mood |
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sad |
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Im so upset about Heath Ledger's death i loved him as an actor i've seen every movie he has ever done and i've seen every interview hes ever done....I'm just so deeply sadden....when my cousin told me about it i thought it was a joke cuz she knows thats my husband lol...but she was serious when she sent me the news article....and i just cried and i was shocked and then just cried.....
My prayers goes out to his family :(
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| Right before class |
[Tue January 22nd 2008|9:13am] |
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mood |
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Okay so i'm gonna update right before i go to class...
so this wkend was alright...it snowed here in NC first time i seen snow here in like 4 years and i was very happy i played in it with my friends and their kids throwing ice balls at them it was fun!!
then i met this guy named bryan he seems alright but hes a pretty boy and i think hes really good looking so i'm wondering why would someone who looks like him be interested in someone like me?
oh and some bad news my dad set a date to get married aug. 9th...bottom line HES AN IDIOT
well off to class
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| Feeling down |
[Fri January 18th 2008|11:57am] |
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mood |
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I just really honestly want to die...I'm tired of being here i'm tired of living all i ever do is fuck up i just want to waste away.
Im lonely, my other grandmother has only 9 months to live due to stomach cancer and cancer of the liver, my family is torn apart and my dad is fuckin idiot.
I have money problems i can't find a job and keep trying i guess what i'm going to have to do is keep pestering them until someone gives me a job.
I just wonder sometimes what it would be like if i was gone. And honestly i can't wait to die so i wont be apart of this thing they call LIFE.
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| Rainy day but with some SNOW! |
[Thu January 17th 2008|9:05am] |
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mood |
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 cold |
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So today is the first time that i actually seen snow....i was really excited when i seen it i haven't seen snow here in NC for like 4 years...but it's wet snow i guess something is better than nothing ya know....
im just waiting around from my class right now....gosh i'm so depressed i need a job soooo bad but no one is really hiring right now but i'm going to still put in applications....but what i dont like is when they have their help wanted or now hiring signs up in the window and you go and fill out an application and they tell you oh we are not hiring right now and it's like well then whey do you still have your sign up??? I hate that shit....
Anyways off to class....
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| New at this |
[Wed January 16th 2008|12:42pm] |
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mood |
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accomplished |
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Okay so i'm new at this i think this is pretty neat...i also have a live journal as well synthpopmadfing
they wouldnt let me type fingers :( lol....Man i have a lot to say...first of off can anyone help me set a background or something up for this thing?
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