The irony is not lost on Ditheron; at 45, he has still not quite managed to obtain the gift of gab, yet he teaches Ancient Runes. Perhaps his deficiency with the English language and his habitual stutter are the reasons he became so fascinated with symbology in the first place. His lectures can be a touch difficult to get through, considering he often talks in circles - or to himself, no one's ever quite sure. But once you get past his quirky manner of speech, you find a Professor rather willing to help his students and passionate about the subject he teaches. He is, easily, one of Hogwarts most brilliant minds - it's only a shame that mind wasn't a bit easier to get at.

Brigid Wenlock is, above all else, madly in love. Madly, terribly, head-over-heels in love - with NUMBERS! Bright, exuberant, and all about digits and decimals, Professor Wenlock is the sort who always encourages. A Hufflepuff through and through, the somewhat young and rather clumsy woman is as kind as kind come - until you insult her class. This could happen in any number of ways: You might sneeze; you might even look as if your eyelids are a little droopy. And that's when the terribly passionate, terribly scorned side of Wenlock appears. Wack-a-doo Wenlock, to some. It would be strongly, strongly advised you never suggest females are lesser than males when it comes to math and the sciences.

One of the remnants of Hogwarts past, Aurora Sinistra has, in recent years, become much more of a fixture at the school. Prior to the war, she often kept herself upstairs and out of the way, but she's come to love the school most ardently for it's inanimate bravery. Though getting on in years, she is always well put together and is the sort of Professor who is able to easily recall little details about her students. Though she falls onto the severe side of the spectrum, she's not nearly so fearsome as Minerva McGonagall - her self-professed idol. Current Head of Ravenclaw House, she isn't warm and fuzzy enough to be considered a Mother Hen, but certainly has a soft-spot for her own kind.

Charlie Weasley never married, much to the dismay of his mother. He was married to his work, it seemed, and it was only five years ago that he finally agreed to return to England. No one is certain if he's absolutely happy with his position as Professor, but it's certainly given him an opportunity to spend more time with his nieces and nephews. To his credit, Care of Magical Creatures has never been a more popular subject, and his split duties as Quidditch Guru and Referee make him a popular figure amongst the student body. Judicious and fair, he's never accused by anyone of favouritism - unless, of course, you include any number of Slytherins.

Whose afraid of the Big Bad Snape? The answer would be no one, after five minutes stuck in Bardmen's classroom. Charms, formerly the most popular subject at Hogwarts, is now rather less attended - but no less necessary. Former member of Slytherin House, Bardmen's ambition all counted for nothing, and the fact that he loathes being a Professor at Hogwarts is apparent to everyone. His teaching methods are questionable, his knowledge patchy at best. Though he may not favour the Slytherins as Snape did, his rath is no less maddening. The main difference? There are only three pre-requisites to his hating you: you're a student, you're a student, and you're still breathing his air.

Teddy Lupin has just been given word that he'll be teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts: and it feels like first year all over again. When his predecessor, Professor Tufkins, passed away peacefully this summer, Teddy - to the great surprise of his family and friends - decided to quit the Auror Training program he'd been accepted into just when he'd nearly graduated, and apply. Lo and behold, he got the position. Though he doesn't have a lot of hands on experience, his work with the Aurors and his famous relations certainly helped his case. Seeing the year as a way to connect with his dad, he isn't yet sold on teaching being anything permanent. That will all depend, he figures, on how many times he gets "Kick Me" spellotaped to his back.

If we didn't know better, we'd vaguely suspect Gilderoy Lockhart and Sibyl Trelawney got in on sometime in Harry Potter's second year and produced an illegitimate lovechild. Because really. Though he enjoys predicting death with even more pep and zeal (and graphic, unnecessary detail) than his predecessor, Wexford is also in the business of predicting steamy, torrid romances - particularly with dashing, older Professor types. If it weren't for his rather, er, unconventional teaching methods with his female students, one might suspect he was batting for the other team. Flirty? Pervy? Check and check. Deluded but, sigh, handsome? Ugh, grudgingly check.

Neville Longbottom was fortunate to leave the war not only with his life, but with the rightful status of Hero. Having risen to the occasion, he might not have received the same degree of recognition from the media as Harry did, but he certainly won something a lot more important - self respect. Having happily taken up the post as Herbology Professor, Neville returns to Hogwarts with a new baby and a family now occupying the renovated cottage Hagrid used to live in. His wife? One Gabrielle Delacour, who couldn't be more in love if she tried. Perhaps it's in her blood, non?

Cutbert Binns is, as he ever was, old, dead and boring. Beyond a little spark that lights up in his otherwise stony eyes when asked to recount The Battle for Hogwarts (a book he wrote the year following Voldemort's death - the only book, we might add, to be written by someone posthumously), Binns still puts students to sleep. In fact, he's putting us to sleep. That's it, really.

Professor Phoebus Penrose's reasons behind leaving Hogwarts years ago remain between he and Albus Dumbledore; when he returned nearly forty years later, no one bothered asking why. Nearing 70, the Muggle Studies Professor is keen on giving his students an in-depth and honest look at the lives of Muggles. But Penrose himself isn't so easy to pin. His classes are far from fluff, as they've been considered in the past, and his focus tends to be on the politics of the failing Muggle world. One can't help but notice that it isn't exactly with warm fuzzies that he speaks of muggles. In fact, if you didn't know better, you'd think that Penrose subscribed to that age-old mentality: keep your friends close and keep your enemies directly under your thumb.

Of the Professors at Hogwarts, Stidge definitely ranks as one of the best. A brilliant, if at times somewhat edgy, sense of humour, has made her easily likeable amongst the student population. She might have a bit of a potty mouth, but make no mistake - Jayne isn't about passing students just for the hell of it. Approachable she may well be, but easy she most certainly isn't. Her class is hard, her marking fair, and her attitude can be very no-nonsense. But a student seeking her help? Will always find an open door. A single mother, she sometimes allows her six-year-old daughter to make guest appearances in her class. For the rest of the time, she lives in Hogsmeade where occasionally students stop by to babysit.

Ambition? She's not Head of Slytherin House for nothing! Were it not for the fact that she's been literally dying for the position of Headmistress since she was a girl - think of the power she'd have over those nasty students who used to tease her! - she would never have taken up teaching. Her love is less for her subject and more for the power it brings with it. That said, she is nothing if not efficient. She requested and requested and requested the Slytherin Head position until she was blue in the face - and lo! Her class is difficult, her attitude hellishly severe, and her smile rather off-putting. Her favourite pastime? Polishing things. Shiny nameplaques and Head of House badges. Head of House badges, you say? That particular gem was her idea. Brilliant!