mandalee51's Journal

Hey guys. I'm super new to this stuff lol. but i wanted to go ahead and at least make an entry. Mason is probably the worst place possible to play in the snow or sled. whenever it snows its rainy and shitty out as well. So since we had a snow day yesterday I went out to lunch with joe and richie. It kinda sucks because joe leaves today for his ski trip. I could seriously kick my own ass for not going. One: spending time with joe for five straight days. Two: away from school, lax, and my gay family would have been amazing. so it has been a pretty weird week. We both know it will be hard because this is the longest we have ever gone without seeing each other, like our record is one full 24 hour period. lol. We laid around yesterday and he gave me my stuff for vday which sucks. my first vday with him and we cant even see each other. but it so much better with him bc with andrew like vday was one day when he actually did something to make me feel like he actually liked me as a girlfriend not just some friend. but everyday feels like that with joe so its ok i guess. and it will make next years vday so much better. Hes coming to visit me at work before he leaves and i know i will cry. I mean i want him to have an awesome time. skiing, being with his cousins he never sees and chilling with nick, which i know nick will enjoy but ugh it sucks to much to say i hope you have fun when i know i will be miserable this week and this vday without him. I'm trying to make all kinds of plans to keep myself busy but i know every time i have fun ill be wanting to look over at him smile and say "babe, isn't this awesome!" but he won't be there. ok maybe im being a little dramatic but seriously want does a girl have to do to not miss the love of her life? are their any girls that could just let him leave and not miss him every minute or think about him and want to text him without being his annoying gf? Guess im not one of them. So i have to suck it up, hold back my tears, force a smile and wish him the best trip so that he won't worry about me.

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