If any of you have information on the incident involving the sprinklers this past Friday, please call my office and have my secretary patch you through.

If not, then the address for this company's Halloween party has been changed. You will not be meeting at the company, you'll be meeting at [warehouse address downtown]. If you can't find a ride, just come to the company and we'll have a bus to take you there. This year's event specifics are a surprise, so be prepared for some treats and some tricks. Mostly tricks. Because you know me.

Furthermore, I'd like to announce that next month we'll be holding another promotional party for Paradise Lust, with free t-shirts and stickers and whips. And one lucky person will win a raffle prize to whip my ass with a knotted cat o' nine tails, so be sure to show up.