Yick
Well, let's see I slept like a rock last night. Had serveral dreams that I'e already had in my life. Woke up this morning checked my email. Had about 29049545, yeeesh. I have no idea what I am doing today. Supposed to go to a friends house for a little party party, who knows if that'll happen. Megan is supposed to come too, but she's got work until 10-10:30 and she has to work tommorow morning. I dunno. I even called her last night but I keep getting that stupid voice message and I give up. I am not calling. Meeeh...Little Slean is supposed to come by today/this morning with his dog, er new puppy. I am so going to teach it to attack people. :)! He's going to kill me but that's ok. I can see this summer being spent at his new apartment all day, everyday since Megan is like farther away and she's kdsjhfdfsdkfhdsf Yeah, so he needs to come show me the KILLA DAWG!
Tonight needs to work, and I know it won't something will get fucked up, something will go wrong. I really did have fun yesturday though. We're still having those akward silences though, and those times when she just kinda looks into my eyes and I have absolutely no idea what to do/say. It's horrible and I HATE IT! I kinda just smile and quickly think of something to talk about. It's such crap. One time I just leaned in and kissed her, but it was so random. RANDOM FUCKING SHITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT I am going nuts. She had some fun glow-in-the-dark silly putty I got to play with though, but it didn't glow very well. I have no idea....
Blow the last candle out… let the was harden
I wish I could stop crying… I wish someone still loved me
Just breathe and focus… how can I when the air is so cold and empty
That my lungs froze right in my chest
I’ll be honest the silver linings are getting harder and harder to manufacture
And the smiles are so difficult to fake
What do I have to do, or who do I have to kill, to get what I want… what I need
Happiness is an emotion I was born to this world without,
nothing pleases me… I cannot be satiated
Thru this toil I will breed my own distress and destroy my best hopes,
fuck up the only things I love…
I WATCHED MY DREAMS DIE…
I watched my aspirations crash to the ground on the backs of the angels that I’ve slain…
But I meant so well, I tried to hard, gave every ounce of my soul, to what end…
Desolation, desire, exhale, pass away…
I WILL NOT BE BROKEN! Gah, summer needs to come. So I don't have to deal with school and all this shiteee.
