How strong are you when someone else can break your will with a word? Our bodies and our minds are capable of many things but I have little control over mine. Start at the beginning, the middle, the end. What does it matter? I don't know how it happened anyway. I'm just a figment of someone's fancy I called spawn. Am I rambling? I'm certainly not making any sense to myself. I'm also trying to think as slowly as I can as my pen moves across this notebook paper, writing. Can I keep up?

I was there and now I am here. I was there and I am here, now. I was there but I am not there any longer. I am here. I'm in the exact same position, place, I was eight seconds ago and eighteen seconds ago I was there. What, am I nuts? I'm not indifferent. I am child. Do you know my name? I do. Are you sure I even have a name?

This is the part where I try not to think.

I stink of sweat. My face is messy with paint. My legs are prickly with hair and I am here. At one time I was there, where I was clean and smelled nice. My legs were smooth and shaven.And my dog was not staring at me like he is now.

"Are you hungry?"

He follows me into the kitchen but I give him water first. Maybe I want him to pee everywhere. His dick is like a hose and he pisses right after he fuels up sometimes. Then I filled his bowl with food. Are you confused? My thought sequence, the time is crooked.

In the kitchen the backdoor is open, and creaking. I can hear birds and breaks. The computer is playing a movie I don't want to sit and watch but don't mind listening to from here. I don't need to see the movie to feel it. Two o'clock. I seem to feel. I seem to see. I seem to blink my eyes and participate in breathing. 1 minute, or 1 hour. I won't realize the day is ended until it's over. Game over.

Forget form and just do it.

This is the part where I try not to think.