| emotions and honesty. |
[Apr. 3rd, 2008|01:54 pm] |
Lorreewaguespack (12:45:14 PM): Hey! Lorreewaguespack (12:45:58 PM): Sup? AbuseYourDiary (12:46:11 PM): Nota lot, you? AbuseYourDiary (12:46:14 PM):  Lorreewaguespack (12:46:24 PM): putting off working on a paper lol Lorreewaguespack (12:46:34 PM): I called you the other day. Lorreewaguespack (12:46:41 PM): haven't talked to you in a while Lorreewaguespack (12:46:45 PM): how goes life? AbuseYourDiary (12:46:57 PM): it's just kind of like i'm watching time pass. AbuseYourDiary (12:47:09 PM): i haven't been working because tyler's grampa is in the hospital. AbuseYourDiary (12:47:29 PM): and i saw you called and mentally noted to call you back, and then forgot. :/ AbuseYourDiary (12:47:35 PM): i haven't really talked to anyone in a while. Lorreewaguespack (12:47:47 PM): y not? AbuseYourDiary (12:47:49 PM): lol, god. i'm such a loser. but yeah. Lorreewaguespack (12:47:55 PM): no ur not AbuseYourDiary (12:48:25 PM): i've been working on EPC a lot. making webpages for it.. and.. i haven't even seen jack or cody in forever. AbuseYourDiary (12:48:29 PM): i've been in bed all morning AbuseYourDiary (12:48:34 PM): i got my haircut though. AbuseYourDiary (12:48:44 PM): it'z short Lorreewaguespack (12:48:46 PM): i saw the pic on facebook Lorreewaguespack (12:48:49 PM): looks good AbuseYourDiary (12:48:53 PM): thankz! AbuseYourDiary (12:49:09 PM): how've you been? Lorreewaguespack (12:49:14 PM): I'm good Lorreewaguespack (12:49:44 PM): I went to a debate last night between Chi Alpha- the Christian greek organization on campus- and the Atheist Alliance Lorreewaguespack (12:49:48 PM): very interesting AbuseYourDiary (12:50:00 PM): oh yeah, i read that thread on facebook. AbuseYourDiary (12:50:02 PM): sounded cool. Lorreewaguespack (12:50:41 PM): it was they should do more stuff like that AbuseYourDiary (12:50:44 PM): i kind of hestitate replying ever. i don't know why. i read it all the time though. Lorreewaguespack (12:51:21 PM): i wondered about that. i wasn't sure if you just didn't get on facebook, or what. why not reply? Lorreewaguespack (12:52:05 PM): that's the easiest way for all of us to stay connected, i feel like your trying to pull away from us AbuseYourDiary (12:52:16 PM): most of the time i don't get on facebok AbuseYourDiary (12:52:21 PM): but i do get on it some times AbuseYourDiary (12:52:22 PM): and i read AbuseYourDiary (12:52:31 PM): and it's just because i don't have anything exciting to talk about AbuseYourDiary (12:52:42 PM): i kind of feel left out. AbuseYourDiary (12:52:46 PM): like even mangham, AbuseYourDiary (12:53:06 PM): i saw her at the doctors office the other day when i was going to get my medication AbuseYourDiary (12:53:17 PM): i'm on antidepressants and sleeping pills Lorreewaguespack (12:53:24 PM): Why? AbuseYourDiary (12:53:37 PM): depression and insomnia.. and nightmares. Lorreewaguespack (12:53:47 PM): nightmares about what? AbuseYourDiary (12:53:47 PM): lunesta makes you not have them. AbuseYourDiary (12:54:23 PM): just various stuff. like, being stuck in a school where i'm going to fail no matter what, or waking up one morning with gray pubic hair and being infertile, AbuseYourDiary (12:54:30 PM): or just all kinds of random things. AbuseYourDiary (12:54:37 PM): that are equally horrible. AbuseYourDiary (12:54:58 PM): nightmares about a lack of a future. Lorreewaguespack (12:55:29 PM): so make a future, go get a job, be involved in something Lorreewaguespack (12:55:50 PM): i know that sounds harsh, but you scare me with what you are telling me, i don't want anything to happen to you Lorreewaguespack (12:56:10 PM): i want you to be happy and have things and people in your life Lorreewaguespack (12:56:45 PM): i know its easier said than done AbuseYourDiary (12:56:47 PM): i don't want to scare you. AbuseYourDiary (12:57:00 PM): i don't want people to worry about me. Lorreewaguespack (12:57:19 PM): how can we not? your my friend! AbuseYourDiary (12:57:44 PM): i know. :/ and i know your right. AbuseYourDiary (12:57:59 PM): i have the job watching tyler but it's not really enough i guess. AbuseYourDiary (12:58:38 PM): i'm just kind of overwhelmed by myself and i need to snap out of it. Lorreewaguespack (1:00:32 PM): that's the thing with writing, at least for me, when I am and its good, my mind is like heavy with what I'm writing and I have a hard time coming out of it long enought to live life, but what's the good of writing if I have no life? And for me, its almost impossible to do both, or to do both well, its a choice Lorreewaguespack (1:01:34 PM): A choice to be happy and to do things, or to sit and do nothing, I understand, last semester, I was depressed. I had nothing to do, no real friends to hang out with, nothing but schoolwork and it wasn't enough Lorreewaguespack (1:01:47 PM): but you have to make an effort to change that Lorreewaguespack (1:02:21 PM): I'm sorry if you feel like this is a little intense, I wish I could see your face, but I really do worry about you AbuseYourDiary (1:02:47 PM): i haven't gone to church in weeks accepting easter. AbuseYourDiary (1:02:54 PM): excepting* AbuseYourDiary (1:03:21 PM): chris IMs me on aim and i don't respond. lol. i don't know what the deal is. i think i'm hiding from people. AbuseYourDiary (1:03:37 PM): it's not that i'm afraid.. it's just like i don't want them looking at me. AbuseYourDiary (1:03:56 PM): because i did drop out of school, and my brother did try to kill himself, and i am on antidepressants.. AbuseYourDiary (1:04:10 PM): and i don't want some excited christian man with a microphone putting his hands on me. Lorreewaguespack (1:04:50 PM): what do you mean? putting his hands on me? AbuseYourDiary (1:05:11 PM): like his hand on my shoulder and being all like, "lindsey blahblahblah miracle, blahblahblah" AbuseYourDiary (1:05:30 PM): I don't know. AbuseYourDiary (1:05:39 PM): Maybe I'm over-reacting but.. Lorreewaguespack (1:05:41 PM): I know how you feel, well maybe not, but I understand where you are coming from and if you really want change things you have to do something Lorreewaguespack (1:06:12 PM): No I don't think you are over-reacting, I get how you feel, I would feel the same in your place Lorreewaguespack (1:06:43 PM): Don't care what they think, what matters is what is between you and God AbuseYourDiary (1:06:56 PM): my laptopbattery is going to die soon. yeah. i agree. AbuseYourDiary (1:07:33 PM): mom thinks we should take a trip. possibly just stay in orange and rent a motel with books and movies. AbuseYourDiary (1:07:41 PM): and she said you could come if you wanted to Lorreewaguespack (1:07:51 PM): yeah that sounds like fun AbuseYourDiary (1:08:02 PM): Lorreewaguespack (1:08:18 PM):  AbuseYourDiary (1:08:42 PM): i need to go get dressed.. i haven't left my room all morning. Lorreewaguespack (1:08:50 PM): ok Lorreewaguespack (1:09:20 PM): Lin, you can always call me, even if its just like today sucked, I would rather hear that than nothing AbuseYourDiary (1:09:53 PM): i'll try to remember that AbuseYourDiary (1:10:05 PM): love you.. i'll probably be back later if you're still here Lorreewaguespack (1:10:16 PM): ok love you too |
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