[private: readable by Dari]

Everything is perfect. Actually, that's not true. Everything is beyond perfect.

Ed is... Ed. He's exactly the same. He's just... mine.

I don't have to share anymore. I don't have to listen to the girls in the locker room. Well... I do, but they don't talk about him. I don't have to watch him flirt with the other girls on the squad. He's all mine. As far as I can tell, he hasn't so much as looked at another girl since we got together, and I like that. I like that a lot.

The only thing... well... I keep stopping. We do the things we've been doing... you know? I just... stop before we go any further... and I don't know why. It's Ed. I've dreamed about making love to him since I hit puberty. I want him to be my first. I'm just... I don't know. I guess I'm scared. Everything is so perfect. I don't want to ruin it. And I know it's going to hurt. And I just... I don't know.

He isn't complaining. He's completely satisfied with what we are doing. It's just... frustrating. This is what I want, I'm just too afraid to do it.

[private]


[private: readable by Ed]

Daddy almost caught me climbing through the window this morning. I had just closed it when he opened the door. He was trying to surprise me with breakfast in bed. It was sweet, but it scared the crap out of me. We really can't sleep that late anymore. We need to start setting an alarm or something.

[/private]


So... I have this extremely hot date tonight.

What is everyone else doing with their Saturday night?

It looks like everyone had a great weekend! I know I certainly did!

[Dari]

We should do something this Friday!

[/Dari]

[Ed]

So… are we going to brave the cafeteria today?

[/Ed]

[private]

I am a horrible, horrible person. I just keep... cheating. It's like I can't stop. In all honesty, I don't want to stop. It's so... he is so amazing. The way he makes me feel... I can definitely see why the other girls used to go on and on about him. He truly is amazing.

I should breakup with Aaron. I don't want to, though. I like him. I don't want to trade our relationship for a physical relationship with Ed. If Ed wanted more, it would be a no brainer, but he hasn't said anything about wanting more. We just... do what we do... and he's been doing that with everyone.

[/private]

Dear Practice,

I am not looking forward to spending my afternoon with you. There are other things I'd rather be doing with my time.

No Love,

Me

[private: readable by Dari]

Judging from the comments Matt made, I don't want to know what Ed did last night.

I should text Aaron.

I keep thinking about last night.

And I'm feeling a little awkward at the moment.

I love you.

[/private]


I hear that was some party. Did everyone have fun?

MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!!



[private: readable by close friends]

So... remember when I was rambling about relationship status and such?

Friday night, Aaron asked me to be his girl. It was sweet. I agreed. I mean... why wouldn't I?

So, yeah... we're officially dating.

[/private]


[private: readable by Dari]

So... Friday...

Aaron and I kind of ditched the party. We made a late appearance, but then we kinda spent the entire night in some bedroom. I didn't let him get any farther than usual, but... there was a lot of over the clothes stuff. It makes me wonder about under the clothes stuff.

[/private]

UM... EW.

[private: readable by Dari]

BRING CONDOMS?! WHAT THE HECK?! THAT'S ... I MEAN, I KNEW LIBBY WAS A WHORE, BUT... REALLY?! WHO DOES THAT?! BRING CONDOMS?! I CAN'T EVEN... IS HE REALLY GOING TO GO FOR THAT? IT'S LIKE HE'S A PIECE OF MEAT... LIKE SHE CAN JUST ORDER HIM AROUND... LIKE HE'S HER OWN PERSONAL SEX SLAVE OR SOMETHING. IS THAT WHAT I'M GOING TO HAVE TO DO TO GET HIS ATTENTION? ACT LIKE SOME SKANK? AND... IN FRONT OF EVERYONE! DOESN'T SHE CARE WHAT PEOPLE ARE GOING TO THINK?! I CAN'T BELIEVE... THIS CAN'T BE REAL LIFE! WHAT KIND OF GUY GOES FOR A GIRL LIKE THAT?! UGH! I HATE HER! I HATE THAT I LOVE HIM!

[/private]



AARON!! Remember how I said I was busy tonight? Well... I'M NOT! So... if you still want to do that thing you were wanting to do, I'm totally good with that! You know... if the offer hasn't expired. Just let me know, okay?

SO ready for this day to be over!

Also... I AM OUT OF COOKIES!! HOW DOES THAT EVEN HAPPEN?

[private: readable by close friends]

Alright... we're making out on a regular basis. Does that mean we're dating... or are we friends with benefits? I know I should probably talk to him about it, but this feels like one of those things I should just know. You know?

[/]

[Aaron]

Are we together-together or are we just friends that make out?

Hey!

[/]

I'm practically counting the seconds until the end of the day. Who's ready to get out of here??

SOMEBODY! LET'S DO SOMETHING FUN AFTER PRACTICE!

[private: readable by close friends]

So...

Aaron Hartman has been flirting with me.

That's... wow... right?

We talked and danced at the parties this weekend, and he's been texting me since then.

I can't believe it. Aaron Hartman is acting interested in me. Have I slipped into an episode of the Twilight Zone?

[/private]

I don't know about you, but I had a great weekend!