Current location:	the room
Current mood:	bitchy
Current music:	A little peice of heaven - a7x

Okay....
My mother is... gah!

My MP3 player disappeared. Seriously. I had it in my pocket, I did the laundry, and I can't find it now. I tore up the house looking for it, and it's no where to be found.

Now Mum's telling me that if I can't find it she's not getting me my Christmas present. Okay, lets go back a little bit.

Christmas is a very hard holiday for my parents because with oil and everything it's hard to afford. So I always ask for cheap things of my parents at Christmas so the Giving Tree can give us a hand. This is the first year I've asked for something a little pricey, an acoustic guitar, or else a key board so I can teach myself piano. I've always wanted to play an instrument that didn't sound as strange as the accordion or the glockenspiel..... -_-

I'm not sure if my mother was getting me either of those, but she said quite plainly, "IF YOU CAN'T FIND THAT MP3 PLAYER YOU'RE GOING TO BE VERY DISAPPOINTED AT CHRISTMAS BECAUSE I'M GOING TO TAKE YOUR GIFT BACK!"

I was like, "When am I not disappointed at Christmas?"

And then you know what my mother accused me of? She accused me of losing my MP3 player on purpose.

...

OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!!

I've been WANTING a fucking MP3 player for three fucking years! I'm not going to loose the fucking thing on PURPOSE!

You know, actually, my brother was GOING to get me one for Christmas last year. But you know what I got instead? Socks. Why? Because my brother needed to take the MP3 player back so he could get oil for his trailer. I was heart broken. Then when mum came into some money because she canceled my birthday trip to New York she bought me an MP3 player instead.

Not as good but I was still VERY happy. So yeah, I really lost the fucking thing on purpose!

-_-

I fucking hate my mother sometimes. I wish I had moved up with Desi, then I wouldn't have to deal with this bull shit. I'd have a real fucking family instead of a responsibility.

Seriously. That's what I have. I have a dad who can't walk, can't hear, and is half blind that I have had to take care of since I was eight. And a mother who's literally too fat to get off her fucking ass and get herself a glass of water at a sink 5 feet away. Is it just me or is my family backwards? Aren't THEY suppose to take care of and support ME?

For fuck sake... I'm done with this bullshit..

-Carol