Jai West (fastasyoucan) wrote,
@ 2012-12-23 23:12:00

(Backdated to September 2011) A much needed talk

There were things that put strains on friendship. And though not on most people's lists, killing your friend was definitely one of them. It's no surprise Jai had been avoiding Din.

What he didn't get was why Din even wanted to see him anymore. He'd murdered him, there was no way around that, if anything he expected, and even felt he deserved, Din cutting all ties. But after running out on him the last time he'd tried to talk, and after that email saying no response would be assumed that their friendship just couldn't recover...well, Jai felt he at least owed Din a conversation without running. Those years as friends warranted at minium that.

So Jai manages to pluck up the courage to make the run to New York and find Din. He could face down supervillains, surely he could manage this. Arriving breathless, from stressing out over it not the run itself, Jai walks around to try and find Din.

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Re: So sorry! Notif got lost

sonoftheatom
2013-05-29 06:36 am UTC (link)

"Nope. It's either still out there, or it got eaten by something else," Dinadan says with another shrug. "It happens. The important thing is that he survived. Death happens quickly in the jungle, being able to thwart it is really great."

It's...weird, actually telling one of his cape friends about New Morlaidh stuff. He almost wonders if he's permanently broken the wall between the two halves of his life. He falls silent, poking at the thought like it's the hole where a missing tooth should be.

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fastasyoucan
2013-06-05 05:10 am UTC (link)

"Makes the superhero stuff up here seem mundane." It's a weak smile, and an ever weaker half-hearted attempt at some lightness that just felt like it faded into awkward silence.

He appreciates the openness from Din about his other life, even more so since he doesn't feel he deserves any of it. Din didn't talk about that half much, understandibly it seemed, but Jai didn't know what else to say. So he falls into silence for a while too before speaking again.

"...Thanks Din. For...sharing all that. I know that...I'm not exactly the person you should want to share with but...thanks."

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sonoftheatom
2013-06-11 06:27 am UTC (link)

"Ehh, giant bats verses giant robots..." Dinadan raises a hand and tilts it back and forth. "Mostly ends up being six of one, half dozen of the other. Only down there it's got politics, and up here is school."

"You're welcome," he says. "And shut up. There's no "should want", that's the other point of that story. People die, Jai; a man my mother loved and my father called 'friend' got eaten alive by ants in front of them. By ants. And I have a theory that the existence of a particular breed of spider in the area is proof that the white dwarf engine of my peoples' ships did something horrible to the ecosystem when they landed here."

He grabs for Jai's arm, afraid his friend is going to bolt again.

"Look, you were never the problem. It was the ring -- for both of us, it was the ring that was the problem. It used you just like it used me, and it left us with the damage when we had no control over what happened. I'm not freaked out because I died, I have near-death experiences on at least a bi-weekly basis back home, I freaked out because it ripped me out of my body and used me." He licks his lips. They feel dry from the speed of his words tumbling out of them.

"I don't know how you died, but I know it wasn't how you should have gone. I went down fighting, which is second only to "peacefully in my sleep surrounded by grandchildren, etc" in my book. I really don't care that I died, I'm just bummed that you feel like you killed me."

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fastasyoucan
2013-08-26 10:49 pm UTC (link)

The bats vs. robots bit gets a small smile out of him which fades as the discussion turns. It'd be a lie to say he didn't consider bolting, some small part of him, there are times still when things get bad and the reflex kicks in. Run.

But just because he could run, fast, far, free and untouchable for the moment, didn't mean he should. He'd been doing too much running away recently. Sometimes you had to stop and face things.

He lets Din say his bit and takes a deep breath. "Look I...I know death isn't as permanent as it should be in this job, but I was dead. And no, I didn't die how I wanted to, or how maybe I should have, but I did. And it's...I can accept that, death is a part of life and an everyday thing with this job. But I...I know it sounds terrible, but I sometimes, well often now, wish that I...stayed that way you know? It's that if I was going to die, let it stay that way, let everyone remember me as I was and not...what they used me as."

He took a deep breath. "I'm not 'freaked out' about it like you put it, it happened, it's done, and it can't be changed. That I can deal with, but it's that I-" he amended his wording now, "they made me kill you, and do all those other terrible things. And it's not even really what they made me do, it is but, it's more that now I have to see the consequences of it, and what it's done to everyone and know that they used me to do all that harm."

This time he grabs his friend's arm, the one that's holding him from bolting. "Look Din, I know I've been withdrawing but...you're doing it too. You're spending less and less time up here, more time in New Morlaidh. And it's not just focusing on the royal stuff, we both know it. I don't know what it is, but you're slowly cutting ties. And...I'll live with not having you as a friend and that my body was used to kill you...but I don't want you to disappear on everyone because of something I did. You can't do that, Din."

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sonoftheatom
2013-09-13 06:09 am UTC (link)

"I get it," Dinadan says quietly. "Wishing you'd stayed that way because what happened was awful, I mean. I did the crazy shut-in thing for months before I finally started seeing someone to help me deal. I just..." he shrugs. "I just eventually chose to see it that, since I got to come back, I should go back to doing good things with my life. Not to make up for what happened, because I can't undo it with good deeds, but just to..." The corner of his mouth quirks up in a smile. "I guess to redeem my name.

"But the New Morlaidh thing, it's really not about you," he continues. "I promise, I swear on my EZ Bake Oven, I wouldn't have come to you this summer to get you to convince me not to drop out of high school if it was about you."

He takes a deep breath. He's never actually said this to one of his friends before, he's always just smiled and nodded and let it go when they all talked about how they were going to kick so much butt when they finally threw off the label of "the kids" and started working as adult heroes.

"Jai, I was never going to do what-- what Cait's dad does. I was never going to try and divide my time between the throne and the League. I'd be available for emergencies, and I'd come up to visit you guys socially; I'd literally only be a phone call away, but..."

He runs his hand through his hair again, making it stand up like the feathers of a flustered bird, and slumps back against the wall.

"I'm not a cape hero," he says, more to his own lap than to the other young man sitting next to him. "I'm a warrior prince who knows how to play by cape hero rules."

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fastasyoucan
2013-09-23 09:04 pm UTC (link)

There's a slight smile now at the swearing upon the EZ Bake Oven, that was a serious oath. It fades slightly as he hears the rest. Sure he'd love to be able to hero alongside Din, maybe on the same team if possible, even in adulthood. But Din has responsibilities that Jai does not, and he gets it. It's not exactly a pleasant thing to rearrange that vision of the future with all of them fighting crime together, this time without Din, but there's been a lot of change in how he thought his life would go recently.

He nods and gives his friend an understanding smile. "I get it, the cape hero thing...well it's not exactly something that goes easily with royal duties. I was planning on taking a break from the cape life a bit. Just to...put myself together again and figure out my life. I was just worried you were using it to...avoid people you know?" Jai reaches out and puts a hand on Din's shoulder. "Just...don't lose touch okay? I was ready to accept I might have to lose a great friend because of...that whole ordeal. But I don't want to lose one by drifting apart. Not after all we've been through, and certainly not you."

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	sonoftheatom 2014-01-11 09:58 pm UTC (link)
	"I'm pretty sure that Petra would literally steal my dad's belt and come down to New Morlaidh to scream at me in front of everyone if she thought I was trying to run away and avoid everyone up here," Dinadan says wryly. "And if my mother even suspected that I was, she'd let her." He smiles a little at Jai. "I promise, I'm not running. Or at least that I won't." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

fastasyoucan
2014-02-05 02:31 pm UTC (link)

"Looks like there's a line of people intent on keeping you in touch," he smiles slightly, not wanting to quite say out loud just how relieved he was to hear that. He'd been more scared that Din might go all reclusive on everyone because of something he'd done, even if it had been the black ring making him do it.

At the promise his smile widens just a tad. "Good. Because you know I could catch you if you did."

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	sonoftheatom 2014-02-23 07:29 am UTC (link)
	Dinadan rolled his eyes and raised a fist like he was going to thump Jai on the shoulder, projecting enough that a guy with super-speed could dodge back if he had developed some touch-related phobia. "Yeah, yeah, you've been able to catch me since we met. My learning curve is significantly steeper than that." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	fastasyoucan 2014-02-24 11:20 pm UTC (link)
	Jai lets the thump land with a smile, he can't say this is back to how it used to be yet, but it's a lot closer than it was just an hour ago. "And don't you forget it." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	sonoftheatom 2014-03-01 11:47 pm UTC (link)
	"Can't. You'd never let me." Dinadan rose up from the bench and offered Jai his hand. "Do you want cake? I want cake. I don't care if rewarding myself with cake when I do something difficult sets me up for bad habits later in life, I deserve cake. Or at least a cookie." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	fastasyoucan 2014-03-02 08:39 am UTC (link)
	Jai smiled up at Din. "I think something would be even more seriously wrong with me if I turned down food. Especially cake." He took Din's offered hand and got to his feet. "Cake with cookies incorporated?" (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	sonoftheatom 2014-03-03 02:54 am UTC (link)
	"I'll see what I can do," Dinadan says, leading Jai back toward the bookshelves. "Worst case scenario: layer cake with cookies between the layers." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	fastasyoucan 2014-03-04 01:11 am UTC (link)
	"If that's our worst case scenario, I have to say it's not looking too bad," Jai smiled and followed along. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	sonoftheatom 2014-03-04 01:42 am UTC (link)
	"That is the best kind of worst case scenario. As an avid planner for the worst case scenario, I know of what I speak." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	fastasyoucan 2014-03-04 01:58 am UTC (link)
	"Considering how rare we get worst case scenarios like that...best take advantage of it." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	sonoftheatom 2014-03-05 03:09 am UTC (link)
	"My thoughts exactly. Let's rock." (Reply to this)(Parent)

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