I was a faker before you.

I was a faker before you.

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	[Apr. 23rd, 2008\|06:01 pm]
Honestly, what HAVEN'T I done this week? On Monday, we went to Panera for cheap bagels (hurray Ben's employee discount!) and then Ben and I worked on my yard and I did what I thought was 15 bucks worth of work (the ammount Ben owed me, anyway) and washed off my boats. I suck at using a hose. I really do. Every time I ~~put it down~~ dropped it, it sprayed me. By the fifth or sixth time, I was like "forget it" and let it just rain on me while I washed it. Then I threw soap at Ben and sprayed Twig. After that, Ben and I went to Main Street, I think. And then we went kayaking and someone couldn't get a hang of the kayak (ahem, ahem). But whatever. Then we swam for a bit and picked up Twig's friend and ate dinner with my family and went to the mall and I got five bucks and we fell asleep at Ben's house until 1:15 AM when I woke him up and he brought me home. Tuesday we got up early, got breakfast at Panera again, brought Kathy a low fat muffin (we didn't think she'd notice the difference) and then I taught Ben to sail. I was like "watch me for a couple minutes and then you're going to do it yourself." So I handed him the main sheet and the tiller and just gave him instructions with my back turned. We ended up in the water with the boat completely turned over. Go us! Hahahaha no, we had intended it to be that way. Then we hung out, went to Main Street and played frisbee with Kathy and her boyfriend who's name I forget, then we snuck away and walked up and down the street. And then weeeeee... decorated my room with glow in the dark stars and went to Ben's house and watched Baseketball and chilled. Today we woke up early, went to Panera, hung out on Main Street with Ryan and they got fitted for their tuxs for prom- I. Am. So. Excited. Ben got a lime green vest to (not) go with my blue dress. He was looking at the different colors and patterns on the wall and he looked at me and asked if I wanted to match. "Oh, God no." So he went with lime green. Wahoo! For my prom? Neon colors! Anyway. Then we went and got Ryan's girlfriend, Laura, and we all went out for ice cream. And I drove Ben's car and we all sang along to my Say Anything CD ("I lauuuuuuughed myself to sleep!") and threw Skittles and Jellybeans at street signs. Then Ben adn i went to Home Depot and the mall and Main Street, then to my house. And now I'm at my dad's. Sup?
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	[Apr. 20th, 2008\|02:42 pm]
Yesterday Ben woke me up by jumping into my bed at eight in the morning. Thanks love. Then I stubbornly refused to get up until I felt like taking a shower, and he just laid in my bed staring at the ceiling. Wicked interesting. Then I got ready and we talked, then got breakfast. Then we went and laid on the beach (because it was such a goddamn beautiful day) and then we went to his house to get his stuff and he dropped me off and went to work. I was lying out in the sun when Sam called to hang out, so I went to her house, got her, got gas, went to Panera (and listened to the most annoying scene girl's conversation... she had an annoying voice and would not stfu to save her life), went to Sam Diego's, and played mini golf. I won by one point. Then we ate ice cream and walked around the mall, then went to Toys R Us and I went home. Ben called me right as he was getting out of work and told me his mom knew he was lying about where he was going to be. So he came over and we sat on my bed in the sullen silence and then talked and got all emotional and then went to his house. He didn't get in trouble for lying, probably because he just confessed with the truth. Then his mom gave me some advice about my own mom and then Ben and I went to Wendy's. It's only good at 11 at night, I swear. Then we went back to his house and watched South Park and Futurama and I slept on the couch. He told me he just wanted to look after me- he hates the thought of me being home by myself at night. He got up at six and woke me up by giving me a kiss, and then let me sleep for a couple more hours. Then his mom made us pancakes and we went to my house, and he left for work at ten. Then I went back to bed and slept and played The Sims and watched TV and went to Panera. Say what?
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	[Apr. 13th, 2008\|03:48 pm]
My emotions can basically be summed up by a single conversation with my boyfriend from earlier today- "Do you remember, when we first started hanging out, how when you hadn't seen a movie or something, that I would send you away to another planet?" "Yeah. That's what it feels like. Like I'm on Planet-fricken-X and you're here, on Earth, and I'm a thousand lightyears away." "I'm trying to come rescue you, but first I need to build a spaceship and find a map to Planet X. Then I'll come rescue you, my princess." "You're halfway there. But what about aliens, you're scared of them. What about them?" "I'll kill them." "They're my friends. You wouldn't kill my friends." Mmm. That's pretty much all. But I love him. Because who else would have water balloon fights with me on a cold day in April? Just Ben.
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	[Apr. 9th, 2008\|12:28 pm]
So I'm in the school library, and I finally finally finally finished my college stuff. Everything done. Including the two essays. I'm kinda bored and feel like I should be heading back to class, so I think that's where I'm going. See ya!
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	[Apr. 6th, 2008\|06:09 pm]
So, Stephanie Day. Shower. Nap. Texted Sam. Visited Ben on his break. Talked with Mike in the mall parking lot. Bought The Sims. Played The Sims. Watched Blades of Glory. And now I'm waiting for Ben so we can talk.
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	[Apr. 6th, 2008\|09:27 am]
Yesterday was a lot of fun. I woke up at the unGodly hour of 6:30 to a text ("Morning sweetie") and procrastinated getting out of bed until seven, when I went and picked Ben up. You know, with his grounding Friday night and all, I was incredibly, incredibly upset with him. We went back to my house where we had plans to sleep, but I can't go to sleep angry and he felt bad, so that didn't happen. So we talked it out and I was no longer angry, just really disappointed. Then we went to Panera and got some bagels, then to 711 for donuts. Then to my house to eat, and I forced him to watch Degrassi with me. And then after a bit we went to go get his tire fixed, and then he had to go. Katie and I went to see 21 and spend some time at the mall. That was a lot of fun. There were a lot of crazy hats involved and a prayer said over Scent Stories, which are MIA. And dresses and hick shirts. 21 probably would have been better if we didn't see the captioned one. I read the entire movie rather than watched it. It was wicked distracting. And we went to Barnes and Noble and Starbucks and played If, then she drove me home. Then around 8:30 I went to Panera and Ben's boss told him to give me whatever food I wanted. Read: End of the day gets you free food. I stayed for fifteen minutes, drinking my caramel thingy (free!) and then I went home and made the video to follow. Then, even though he was supposed to get off at nine, Ben didn't get off until ten. Disappointing. Like, really disappointing. In fact, I'm still incredibly disappointed. When he finally got to my house, I had been laying on my skateboard pushing myself back and forth for about twenty minutes. That's how bored I was. We went and played air hockey, best two out of three, and he won. We were slamming the little puck, hard. I hit it once and it bounced off the side of the table and hit him in the chest. Whoops. Then I played that little game where you hit the crabs and I hit those harder than I should have. Then we walked up and down Main Street, sat in his car in the parking lot for a little while, and then he drove to Veteran's Beach. How he knew I wanted to go there I'll never understand. Then he brought me back to my house, but my mom was at Jim's and my sister at my dad's, and he didn't want me to be alone, so he brought me to his house. We ate grilled cheese and watched TV until about 2 in the morning, then I slept on his couch with Lucky and Daisy, his two dogs. We woke up this morning at eightish and watched Spongebob, then came back here where he took a shower and I ate breakfast, then hung out for a bit until he had to go to work. And honestly? I'm looking forward to having a Stephanie Day. I might go out later and buy The Sims for this computer with my various Best Buy gift cards, because I really really really wanna play.
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pictures!	[Apr. 2nd, 2008\|06:48 pm]
She's taller than me. And four year and a half years younger. I'm not so sure we could be any more different. Oh. Okay. Someone's a frog. Twig. "Awh." I thought I'd get my camera out and take random pictures, too. And again. And again. I forgot to take it off zoom. That's better. Oh hey Shelley. And Ben's family. "I'm pretty!" Neither of us felt the need to look at the camera. A cloudy afternoon spent eating Half Baked ice cream and on the Sandwich boardwalk, anyone?
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	[Apr. 2nd, 2008\|12:19 pm]
Alright, so I'm just killing time in the school library. I told Moynihan that I wasn't going back to class after lunch, so I came here because I really have nothing better to do than research colleges. Boring? Yes. Scary as hell? Definately. I mean, think about it. In six months I'll have narrowed down my choices and probably be spending upwards of 600$ to even apply (screw you, application fees). I'll know before Christmas which schools want me and which don't. My birthday will come around and I'll have already decided where I'm going to be spending the next two to four years of my life. The thing is, after that, I have no idea where my life is headed. That's the scary part. I don't know one single thing about it, and as interested as I am to find out, I'm scared. Ben would tell me to take things day by day and to calm down about the future. My mom would tell me that no matter what I do, she supports me. My sister keeps telling me to go to school in Asia, simply because I'd be far away (I countered with the fact that she's going to have to do all the dishes while I'm gone, and she quickly switched her preference to Cape Cod Community College). Ben wants me to go to school in Vermont or Maine, so he can work while I'm at school. But I want what I want, and I don't want to surrender that. But his opinion is more valid than mine- he has an idea what he wants for himself, and I have no clue. I know I want to travel and get paid for that. But how? And how's that going to work out? I have the entire world at my fingertips, and suddenly that seems entirely too big. I can't be held responsible for my own choices, because if I make the wrong one, then that's all my fault. And who wants the blame for messing up an entire future? The one place that keeps popping up is Becker College, which is in Worcester and Leicester. Two campuses, like, twenty minutes away from one another. And they offer Travel Management as a major. We'll see.
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	[Mar. 30th, 2008\|05:48 pm]
Yesterday, Ben and I raked/mowed/made my front lawn pretty. It's amazing, there's actually ground under all those leaves! I raked for a bit and then realized I had gotten the difficult job and since Ben was getting paid for it, I should have the easy job, so I took over mowing for a few minutes. Then I got bored and climbed trees and played soccer and skated and hulahooped and got the hoop stuck in a tree and played outside! Then Ben and I went out to eat at Sam Diego's, and picked Twig and Bianca up at the mall. We dropped them off and he confused the hell out of me, but then when we were back at his house I got embarresed and kinda annoyed and continued to stay that way until we got to the bowling alley and played air hockey ("the first place we saw each other outside of school!") and I took my frustrations out on the poor little green puck. We played twice, and I won once and Ben won the other time. Then we went down to the beach, where we walked. I think we found a new late night thing, and this time I had a flashlight! And today, I hung out with Twig and we took Ben's break with him and ate food!
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	[Mar. 29th, 2008\|11:03 am]
Yesterday was probably the best day ever, y/y? It started with me oversleeping. Then Ben came to pick me up and I so wasn't ready, so I ran out of my house with my shoes only half on. I had ecology first, so I got my work for the next few days done and just slept. Such an easy class. I basically have an A for sleeping the whole time. Then Katie and I had history, and we played current events. Our class won, 800 to 200. Go us. I knew some question about Lords of London. Woohooo! And then there was math, which I don't remember much of. I think O'Dea takes pity on me because I can't comprehend anything. She gives me a check for only doing half my homework. And of course, food service!!1! We made pasta. It was so much fun to make, I got to use the crank thingy while Sam and Ben fed the dough. We made fettucini and it wasn't all that great, though one of our pieces was about 5'8" long. We held it up to Ben to check. And then a test in English that wasn't that bad. After school Ben and I went to CVS and got Rollos, then we went to my house for a couple minutes to use the bathroom. Then we went to Ben's, where we waited for Ryan and we went to go play in the mud. Then we went to White Hen and got slushies. I got bubble gum flavor. :] And we went back to Ben's and Ryan left, so Ben washed his car and I watched. It was really cold outside! We watched Family Guy for a bit, then went to Papa Ginos with my dad and sister. We saw Mr. Goode there. And then we went to my house and took my mom's truck. It was so, so cool. I love driving new, random cars. And best yet, it wasn't my gas! Ben and I went to CVS to pick up my prescription, and then to Newburry Comics to look at all the stuff ("We are furnishing our house with stuff from here"), and then to Party America to hang out with Chrystine and Thacher. Thacher and I threw stuff at each other and ran around the store while Ben was a "balloonary genious". Then, after he popped a balloon and made us all go deaf, we left and played with his new flashlight in the car, shining it through the store windows and at Chrystine. Then we drove in a big circle through Dennis and down 6A and ended up back at my house, where we hung out and watched a little bit of Castaway. Then we went to the beach for a walk. It was like 9:30 at night and so scary, but towards the end I got a lot more comfortable with the dark, cause he was there. And we looked at shells and talked. "If you were to go out there, you'd be alone. There is no human out there right now. You'd be alone in the perfect silence." Then we drove around for a little while longer and went to my house, where we started falling asleep and we snuggled and we calmed Buster down because he was crying. And today I have no idea what we're doing, but it's beautiful out and I wanna be outside! Maybe we'll go back to the beach again tonight. If there's stars then I'm sure I'll be a lot less scared.
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	[Mar. 26th, 2008\|08:29 pm]
Last week I was sick and missed the entire week of school. Go me! The only upside was that Ben was sick too--and my mom worked all week, so I spent it all at his house where him and his mother cared for me. All week! Straight! And I got to take care of him, too. I'm better now, I just have a bit of a cough and my eyes got messed up from the fever. I swear they're getting better, I don't notice the big flashy spot in my vision anymore unless I close my right eye. But don't tell my mom-- she and my opthermolostupidstupiddoctor want me to have a CT scan. Stephanie+hospitals=mental breakdown. Hello hello, psych ward! Anyway. On Friday I ditched my (very last day of) work and went to Vermont with Ben and his family. It was a lot of fun. The first day, Friday, we went to some mall and I bought my prom dress. I think I tortured Ben for a minute or two looking at all of them, even though I knew perfectly well which one I wanted. Then we slowly made our way to beautiful Vermont, with it's snow and iced over trees and general beauty. I met his family, then the adults went out and got drunk. We watched TV and played pool and ate pasta. Then we hung out in his cousin's room and eventually made our way to bed. Ben and I slept on the couch big couch and Shelley on the little one, and we actually made it work. Once Ben found a comfy spot he was out for the night, and neither of them woke up with my periodic coughing. Everyone was up at six. I woke up because of the movement upstairs and pretended to sleep when anyone came into the basement, then Ben's mom got us up at 9:30. We went to Ben and Jerry's and took the factory tour and ate ice cream, then went back and spent the day skiing. They took me to the very top of the mountain my first run. I only fell twice on that run, but it was scary! It was so windy, I was afraid the wind would push me right off the top. But it was fun. Then that night we all hung out and Ben and I decided to sleep on the floor. It worked out better than the couch, we had much more space. We slept until Nick set Jasper on us, who licked our faces until we got ourselves up. Then we watched TV and had Easter dinner, then made the five hour drive back home. Ben and I spent most of the ride lip synching to various songs on my iPod and argueing about what kind of pets I can get when I'm older. No donkeys, mini horses, camels, elephants or cows, but I can have a mammoth and a kangaroo. And also, two huskies and a Yorkie named Gizmo.
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	[Mar. 19th, 2008\|07:57 pm]
I couldn't write an essay while sick. I just couldn't do it. I'm miserable. I can't see very well, I have a fever, a runny nose, a bad cough. Fuck you, flu. My vacation totally sucked, thanks for wondering. We didn't even GO to Vermont. We went to New Hampshire instead, where I spent a good percentage of the time worrying about Ben, who was really sick. And then of course I came down with the same thing, but since he has a decent immune system and I uh, don't, I got it worse. 103.7 degree fever, anyone? 1.3 degrees away from DEATH? And oh yeah! The fact that the fever damaged my eyesight is really cool! I need to go to bed.
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[Mar. 13th, 2008|01:33 pm]

[	Current Location	\|	school library	]
[	Current Mood	\|	happy	]

I am so, so sorry that I've been (severly) lacking in updates. Lately it seems like I hardly have ten minutes to settle down and get on the computer, I'm always rushing around.

School is crazy. I don't know how I'm doing it and managing a social life at the same time- over the past two hours I've done an "extended topic outline" for my research paper, and I've never done anything so difficult having to do with school in my entire life. I can't wait for college, really. &sarcasm;

I've been rushing around to work and doctor's appointments (I was diagnosed with borderline depression, so hello counceling once a week!) and trying to have fun, too.

I quit my job at Party America-or, as my boss puts it, "leave of absense"-to focus on school. Progress reports came out last week and I have a D- in English and an F in Algebra. A C in food service and A's in both ecology and teaching internship. I want to start making A's and B's again, so I'm really really trying to do well. Starting next week I have a tutor for Algebra and English is my problem, really. I'm good at it and I enjoy it, I just don't do it. And also, I hate poetry.

I've decided to make this journal public, because what do I have to hide? Absolutely nothing, really. And anyway, half the people on my buddy list will probably click the link in my profile and glance over it, because the ramblings of a seventeen year old wouldn't intrest me in the least.

It's all good.

I have five minutes until I can leave the library and go meet Ben outside his coastal studies class, so I'm going to continue rambling senselessly.

Today's main event was leaving my house early to go pick Ben up, then going to McDonald's on North Street for breakfast. I got pancakes, which I ate during food service third block, and Ben got breakfast sandwiches. All thanks to me, because it seems like I'm the only one who ever has money anymore.

Speaking of which, this summer I'm going to be living on Nantucket. I'm moving out! I'll be back for senior year, of course, but you know. It happens.

Alright, I'm bored. I'm going to go to the bathroom and walk around for a bit.

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