Speaker For The Diodes - September 28th, 2009

Sep. 28th, 2009

05:25 am - QotD

"Les charmes enchanteux de cette sublime science ne se décèlent dans toute leur beauté qu'à ceux qui ont le courage de l'approfondir. Mais lorsqu'une personne de ce sexe, qui, par nos meurs [sic] et par nos préjugés, doit rencontrer infiniment plus d'obstacles et de difficultés, que les hommes, à se familiariser avec ces recherches épineuses, sait néanmoins franchir ces entraves et pénétrer ce qu'elles ont de plus caché, il faut sans doute, qu'elle ait le plus noble courage, des talents tout à fait extraordinaires, le génie superieur." -- German mathematician and physicist Carl Friedrich Gauss (b. 1777-04-30, d. 1855-02-23), 1807-04-30, in a letter to French mathematician Sophie Germain (b. 1776-04-01, d. 1831-06-27)

"The enchanting charms of this sublime science reveal themselves in all their beauty only to those who have the courage to go deeply into it. But when a person of that sex, that, because of our mores and our prejudices, has to encounter infinitely more obstacles and difficulties than men in familiarizing herself with these thorny research problems, nevertheless succeeds in surmounting these obstacles and penetrating their most obscure parts, she must without doubt have the noblest courage, quite extraordinary talents and superior genius."

[Quotation and translation both via Wikiquote]

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06:38 pm - Saturday Went Well

A quintet of Playford Spice musicians had a wedding gig Saturday. (I think the only other with a blog is [info] - personal silmaril but will link others here if I'm mistaken.) On the whole the gig went well: the groom said good things about us, the bride said lots and lots and lots of good things and repeated most of them a few times, assorted guests said positive things about us with big smiles, and even the caterers chimed in with praise. The biggest frustration was a wee bit of disorganization -- last minute edits to the program, a bit of uncertainty about who else was supposed to perform when, sorting out cues for music during the ceremony, and finding out while we were setting up that we needed half again as much music as we had prepared ... which are really not unusual types of glitches for weddings, nor an unusual number of glitches for any one wedding, so it was neither the most amazingly tightly-organized wedding I've played at nor the most confusingly disorganized. *shrug* (Oh, there was also some confusion and much delay in getting the band fed, but at least the caterers didn't make us eat outside in the rain[1].) The biggest loss was that one of my bungee cords went missing -- not really very high on the catastrophe scale. So: on the whole, it went rather well. I got to play with folks I like but don't see often enough, the people who needed to be happy with us were happy, and there were no disasters to speak of. A good day.

Still, there were lessons to be learned:

a digression about mixers )

And though I didn't get any good recordings (as I said, 'twasn't a priority), I've a couple more thoughts after listening to what I did manage to record:

So: Saturday went well except for having been stupid about pain meds toward the end and having unloading the van at home be more difficult that it had to be, as a result. Then yesterday was a pretty much lost day, as I'd pretty much expected (I'd planned to visit my mother if able, but wasn't counting on being able ... the vicious headache[5] was a surprise, but the muscle and joint pain and general fatigue were not). I finally resorted to inhaled theophylline[6] to deal with the headache and a mild bout of athsma, which helped a lot, and today has been an ordinary everything-hurts day instead of an exceptional everything-hurts day. Getting to rehearsal tonight is unlikely but I haven't entirely given up on the idea yet since I'm doing so much better than yesterday -- this is a codeine-might-work level of pain, today, if I time it right. But I'm still definitely feeling the after-effects of Saturday's effort and Sunday's migraine.

I can wish for a body that didn't take so long to recover from a day like Saturday, but Saturday itself was good.


footnotes (and a question about headache terminology )

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10:40 pm - Desire

[info] the-nita linked to yesterday's Astronomy Picture of the Day. As soon as I read the description, I knew exactly which photo it was.

Ouch.

You see, I'm an acrophile. Have been for a while -- likely longer than I've known the word. And a bit of a space buff. And in 1984 I could still afford subscriptions to Science News and Astronomy -- I don't remember which of those I first saw that photo in, but I do remember the moment I turned the page and saw it (printed as a full-page bleed, IIRC).

My heart stopped. A lump formed in my throat. And I discovered for the first time that envy could be experienced as physical pain. Oh, I'd wanted to be an astronaut before, but never as strongly as after seeing that photo. Even now, when I see or hear the name McCandless, my mind is filled with this image.

Even without the acrophilia and the envy, it's a beautiful photo on multiple levels. And it has lots and lots of room for each viewer to project her or his own issues into. For me, the photo seems to whisper several things at once ...

... but while it's whispering all those other meanings, it's shouting into my brain, "Want. To. Be. There. Dammit. Exclamation. Point." My throat tightens up and I hear my own voice whining, "No fair -- I wanna be there -- when's my turn?"

Bruce McCandless, un-fucking-tethered, a hundred meters from the Space Shuttle that hauled him into orbit. First untethered space walk. (The APoD page mentions that Robert Stewart also got to do that the same day, but McCandless' name is the one I always remember because he's the one in the photo.) No mechanical connection to the spacecraft, nor to the planet; no tether, no ladder, no mountain, just ... floating ... in ... space ... with a maneuvering jet, and gravity and Newton's laws of motion. Not standing on anything, not even being held up by aerodynamics: alone outside the atmosphere. Spacecraft within reach using the maneuvering pack, but no physical contact. I'm not sure why the distinction between being inside a spacecraft that's in freefall and being outside in just a spacesuit in freefall feels so important, but it matters to me, at least as I imagine both situations. Probably because even though each is a sealed, pressurized container, one registers as "clothes" and the other as "vehicle". Oh, I'd dearly love to get into orbit -- or farther -- in a spacecraft, and even that would be a dream come true. But to go EVA, to see no walls around me, nor anything that could count as a floor, whichever way I look, to gaze down upon the Earth or out toward the stars, no ground under my feet, no railing, no window, just empty space between me and anything else; that would be one hell of a trip.

I know that for some people these ideas evoke terror or even moderate discomfort rather than desire. I do not know whether or not there is anyone for whom this image evokes indifference. I understand my own reaction, of course, and I understand the folks who'd find it scary. I have trouble imagining anyone not being moved enough to notice one way or the other.


A couple years after that photo came out, I was in a car with co-workers, hearing on the radio that that shuttle disintegrated just after launch. When someone asked, "If you were offered a ride on the next one, would you go?", that photo of McCandless was firmly in my mind's eye as I blurted, "Oh yeah, I'd still go -- I'd be scared, but I'd sure as hell go." Many times over the years that image has leapt to mind. And every single time, it's accompanied by strong pangs of "I. Want. To. Be. There."

I don't know which is worse, imagining and desiring that experience, or having experiened it and being back on Earth again. But you know, I'd love a chance to find out firsthand.

I know that's never going to happen. I'll have to settle for movies and photos and stories and my own imagination, like almost everybody else. And try to scratch that itch by looking down from tall buildings, mountains, trees, and aeroplanes from time to time.

And still, every time I see that photo on a page or on a screen, every time anything reminds me of it and it pops into my head, I'll be thinking, "If only ..."

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