"News is what somebody somewhere wants to suppress; all the rest is advertising." -- Lord Northcliffe (Alfred Charles William Harmsworth), late XIXth/early XXth Century newspaper magnate
I give up. I'm terrible at asking for help, but it's gotten to the point that even I can see that I should do so. Between killer back pain, dizziness if I stand up for more than about ten minutes, and the headaches and hyperacusis that come and go, I still haven't managed to get out of the house for groceries and am no longer able to convince myself that "if I rest up today, get a decent night's sleep, and take enough pain meds tomorrow, I'll be able to go shopping tomorrow afternoon," which is what I've been telling myself for several days now. (I did take extra pain meds Wednesday, hoping to get to HCB rehearsal (and buy groceries on the way home), but it wasn't enough. Then I felt like I had 'wasted' a dose (and similarly wasted the resulting caffeine eitage and trashed sleep yesterday and this morning) because I failed to achieve the goal I took the extra drugs for.)
(Argh! So far off my game that I didn't notice until a few minutes ago that I'd forgotten to mention Cheese Weasel Day in my QotD entry! *pout* I also keep getting distracted and forgetting to actually post this... I guess I'm still a little bit attached to the "maybe I'll feel well enough tomorrow and won't need this help" idea. Or maybe it's just that I'm that scatterbrained at the moment.)
So ... if I could impose on somebody local tomorrow to bring me a few of the more urgent items I've run out of, I would be grateful.
What I most need:
If the total is less than $41 then I can repay you right away with folding money, instead of having to dig into the bag of quarters or give you an IOU. If there's any room left in that budget, any of the following would also be nice (but obviously rather less important):
I found some whole-bean decaf coffee I'd forgotten about in the back of the fridge, so I'm okay on at least that front for now. *whew* (And yes, I have an electric grinder. I don't have to haul out the mortar and pestle when I want coffee.)
I don't promise to be sparkling company to whoever shows up, what with being groggy and dizzy and hurting, but I will be grateful.
Given the timing and duration of this Really Bad Month, I'm starting to suspect a change of medication may be at least partly to blame. Let's see how reverting to the previous selection of meds affects me. Wish me luck.
(I really wish I had access to a drug that would make the pain go away (which would mean something stronger than Vicodin or codeine, which just tone it down a few notches), last long enough for me to sleep through the night without waking from pain as it wears off, not screw with the restorative sleep-phases (I think this is another way my hypothetical wish-drug would have to differ from Vicodin), have no recreational side-effects (so that doctors wouldn't be scared of prescribing it), not diminish in effectiveness with prolonged use, not make me feel impaired/high/stoned (not something any of the drugs I've used for muscle pain have done, not even the ones with a reputation for that, but it's good to cover the bases when phrasing a wish), and be safe for long-term use. Alas, AFAIK the drug I want does not yet exist.)
*sigh* Now to try to massage my self-esteem back into shape after this "can't even take care of myself well enough to not run out of groceries" bruise to it. I wasn't depressed when this bad spell started, but the pain and frustration and disappointments are starting to mutate into hopelessness and nihilism and why-even-bother, and that ain't good. Since I can't take antidepressants, I've got to hope my emotional state bounces back on its own when I regain my mobility. I think it should. Again, wish me luck.
[1] At Giant, IIRC, the best unit price is on the 24 oz blocks, but a mere pound should last me long enough to be useful if you go to a store where that's not the case. Prefer sharp, but mild or extra-sharp will do. Cheddar isn't my favourite cheese, but between its relatively low cost and wide range of culinary applications, it has been my default cheese for the past several years. (I'm not sure whether American cheese is cheaper, but the processed American "cheese food" -- e.g. Kraft Singles -- produces significant unpleasantness at the far end of my GI tract, so I avoid it.)
[2] Several brands of fat-free yogurt contain gelatin but it's fortunately uncommon in the low-fat versions, at least the brands sold in two-pound tubs. Whole-fat yogurt is okay if the store is out of cheap low-fat, but I'd prefer to avoid the fat-free stuff, as it tastes wrong to me.
[3] Not my favourite, but probably the most cost-effective to prevent withdrawl symptoms from goading me to eat everyfuckingthing else in the house trying to satisfy a craving. Higher cocao content tastes better and works in smaller doses, but I think the price goes up faster than the effectiveness does.
[4] Pounce: any flavour; Whiskas: I know Perrine likes the ones in the purple bag, can't remember her reaction to the other flavours ... but it probably won't matter.
[5] Whole milk okay; 1% or skim not so much.
[6] Yeah, I know the all-natural, non-homogenized stuff without added sugar is better for me, and I can appreciate the flavour, but anything that thick that I may have to stir will be a problem on high-muscle-pain days, and the less-healthy stuff is almost always less expensive.
[7] Anything with pieces sized conveniently for stirring into an egg/cheese mixture to make something kind of like a frittata. A wee percentage of okra in the mix is acceptable.
[8] Listed from most preferred to least, but any of those types will work for how I plan to use them.
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