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1. When you are out in public, do you often get hard/get wet?
      Hell fuck yes. No thanks to a certain cocktease of a fiancé.

2. When you masturbate, how long, typically, is your session and what do you think about (other than having an orgasm)?
      I'd say on average, fifteen to twenty minutes. If I'm masturbating, it's only because someone's being a tease again or he's not readily accessible at the time, so it's not exactly a treasured and special moment. At the same time, he who doesn't savor sexual pleasure is an idiot. I mean, fuck, it's not like it's work.

3. What is your most pleasurable intercourse position?
      "Most pleasurable intercourse position"... what are you, a fucking girl? You mean which position gets me off the most? Fuck, I don't know. Lately, the position doesn't seem to matter as much as the person moaning against you. ... Shut the fuck up that's not sentimental at all, dickwad.

4. How often do you use the word "fuck" (or its derivatives) in casual conversation - frequently, occasionally, rarely, never.
      Fuck, how the fucking fuck should I fucking know?

5. Have you ever had a spontaneous orgasm? How when why where?
      Spontaneous orgasm? Like, what, I was sitting at work one day going over the numbers then OHSHIT THERE GO MY ARMANI SLACKS? Get the fuck out.

Bonus: Post a link to a picture you consider a strong sexual turn-on.
      It's a little crumpled from my wallet, but whatever.