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I'm dying.

I mean I always knew it'd happen. HELLOOO I'm not a vampire or a zombie.

But I thought I'd at least have more time.

Over the weekend I hurt my ankle. Walking through a museum. I've been complaining about this slight pain and weakness in my left ankle since January to my primary. She just blew me off.
There was also a lump growing on the left side and it kept growing and growing.
She blew it off.

Walking around the museum, i heard a CRACK and the pain level shot from 2 to a 6,4857,209 in a flash of a heartbeat and I've been walking on the side of my foot ever since. It was like a tendon snapped or broke or whatnot. I have no control to walk on the flat of my foot.
SO my sister took me to the ER.

They took 8 xrays and determined that nothing was emergency related...but they GRILLED lisa about if i'd had any injuries to my ankle since in the xrays it looked like it'd been broken a couple of times and never set right. I felt sorry for her since they were trying to make her out to be some child abuser.
She's a bitch, yeah, but she NEVER hit me or abused me.

ANyway....so they ER dr's say they're going to send a request to my primary to refer me to the Orthopedic surgeon. They might break it again and hope it heals right...they might use pins...they might just redo the whole ankle itself.
Wonderful.

BUT also when i went to my primary's office and some BITCH that spent all of THREE minutes talking to me (i HATE that whore! she wasn't Dr Sistoza my usual primary. Just some DI($(W$)(SIJSGFNJLK#$T%$%(U that thought she knew it all) and she tells me that my left kidney is shutting down.
-stare-

Now all I've done is had blood work in the last three months. I've seen Sistoza since then you THINK she would have said something and how the FUCK can she tell it's the LEFT one???? I've NEVER had any xrays or ultrasounds of my kidneys. They've always been perfectly fine!!!
Now THIS whoremonger BITCH is going to try and say this?

I don't know if I should be furious or sad or......




Needless to say my boyfriend wound up crying all night Saturday.

I went over to his house because I had to tell him what was going on and he'd just gotten in from NYC that saturday afternoon....yeah they sent him back there again.....and he just broke down completely.
Hell I was the one having to tell him it was all right and....that's when it hit me.

Maybe it won't be.

So needless to say I've had NO sleep since friday when all of this started.

ANd I'm on edge constantly.


I'm not worried about myself, really. I can't stop this.
I'm worried for everyone else.

Gio.....
Johnny.....
Susie.....
Harry and Ry.....
Lisa......
my minion and Jade (as if SHE'D notice -eyeroll-).....
mum and Papi.....

-sighs-
I just don't know what to do any more........