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Who: Albus Dumbledore and Caradoc Dearborn
What: OMGOSH GUYS. OH.MY.GOSH.
Where: Hogwarts, Dumbledore's office
When: January 8th, 1978

For someone who was about to go and rat out probably the most powerful evil force England had ever seen, Caradoc was feeling quite relaxed and even calm as he glided through the castle’s corridors. Or at least, he was nearly sure that he was ratting out something of great importance. Why else would have regular Death Eaters like Aland and that bunch throw around something like- well, let’s just say it was not a great mystery within the Death Eater ranks where James Potter and Frank Longbottom were being hidden. Of course, the exact location, Caradoc had no clue about, but what he did know was definitely head-turning.

Ha, he actually knew something, and was about to foil one of the most highly guarded plans the Dark Lord had thought up of and started this year. Why Caradoc was doing this, he really had no clue. Well, no that wasn’t true. It had taken him a few days of refusing to leave the house and staring into space as his mind raced, but finally, it had dawned on him. No one forced Caradoc Dearborn to do anything. Period. It might be life-threateningly stupidly, and selfish, but that was the bottom line. No one was going to force him to kill anymore, he wasn’t going to go and be some idiotic lackey that mindlessly followed orders without the bat of an eyelash, and he refused to live in fear anymore because if this wasn’t preparing himself for going down some time along the road (with the glory that would come along with it), nothing would. No, Caradoc knew what he was doing, and his sickening smile grew with every step because it was such a good feeling that he couldn’t begin to explain.

It could be possible that he was making the biggest mistake of his life. Caradoc was fully aware of what the Dark Lord was capable of, but, he had come up with a rather, equal agreement to make with the Headmaster. Which included getting him familiar with the Order, saving those bloody Gryffindor’s lives, and keeping his family (particularly Juliet) alive long enough to see the end of this war.

He was rather proud of himself, really. Feeling more confidant than he should, Caradoc raised his knuckles to the Headmaster’s door and rapt on it heavily.

A house-elf had informed Albus that Caradoc was on his way up to the castle, to his office. The headmaster would not lie and say that he wasn’t disappointed in Caradoc’s lack of appearance at the Order’s first meeting, which led him to believe that the young Dearborn had fallen into the grasps of the enemy. Albus truly hoped this wasn’t the case, as Caradoc was a rather brilliant young man. It would be such a waste to have him fight for such a worthless cause.

Albus was already standing by the door when Caradoc knocked and waited a few moments before opening the door. He smiled gently at him, immediately noticing his anxiousness; this either could be very bad or very good, depending on the side you were on.

“Mister. Dearborn, happy new year, how can I help you?”

He faltered for a bit, simply thrown off by Dumbledore’s smile. Why would this man be smiling with his very publicized weight on his shoulders? Though, Caradoc quickly recomposed himself, and a small smile in turn appeared on his lips. “Can we talk inside, Headmaster?” he stated a few seconds later, waving his hand (his right hand) past the both of them in the general direction of the office. Everything- everything needed to be in private, where no one would know anything and there wouldn’t be even a soul’s chance as to anyone finding out anything.

Albus nodded and shut the door once Caradoc entered, motioning toward the same chair the man had been sitting in about a month ago. He slowly made his around to his own chair, forcing himself not to look too concerned. He was waiting for the worst, though, after the past few weeks, there really wasn’t much that could make Albus feel any more horrible.

He sat and folded his hands together on his desk. With a small wave of his hand, he motioned for Caradoc to speak, that the man had his full attention.

As Caradoc sat there, he thought over things for one last time. This was his last chance to turn back. To get out of what he was about to do, not make any ripple in anything, and to just let things be. If no one was meant to put this together, then that was the way it was. But, but- ah. No. He had made up his mind and that was that. He knew which side, finally, he belonged on. Dumbledore could offer him protection, and more freedom than ever before.

So. He took light breath, effortlessness tugged down on his sleeve, and prepared himself for any and everything. Right, he was the one in control here- he was the one that Dumbledore needed (even though the tables could quickly turn and it could be him that needed everything, but Caradoc didn’t want to think of it that way). Caradoc stayed silent for a few moments longer until finally, finally-

“I am sorry to hear about the certain condition you have concerning two Gryffindor boys at this point in time.”

Albus rarely let his expression falter and the comment caused no difference even though inside his heart ached. All evidence of the boys’ disappearance led to their being dead and it was incredibly heartbreaking that there had been literally nothing he or any of those in he was currently gathering could do. It felt like he’d failed Frank and James.

“There is still hope for their return,” Albus said with a sagely nod, casting his eyes down for a moment before looking up at Caradoc. The man had something to share, something important, and for the moment would refrain from using legilimency to extract the information. He wanted to give Caradoc the chance to tell his story, to maybe prove himself, or maybe he wanted to see where this was heading.

He’d always liked surprises.

Another smile crept onto Caradoc’s lips, and he looked down at the ground for a moment. Yes, there was much more hope than Dumbledore would have thought than before. And it empowered Caradoc to know that, like always, he was in control of this situation. The problem of Dumbledore using legilimency had crossed his mind earlier. But, his head didn’t feel like it was being racked through just yet, and the Headmaster was known for letting people say what they had to say before finding the real truth. Many of the other Death Eaters constantly mocked him about this, but now Caradoc was not the one to complain. It was to his advantage this time. “Yes there is hope. More than I think you are aware of,” he started, finally looking up from the ground and having the nerve to lock onto Dumbledore’s face.

“I…have a proposition for you, Headmaster.”

Albus was only giving Caradoc the benefit of the doubt because he knew that the man was not fully devoted to Tom’s cause, that there was still reason to trust him. His Legilimency was adept enough to be performed on people without much of their notice, so when suspicions did rise, Albus was able to use the skill quickly and efficiently.

“So the tables have turned,” Albus said with a smirk that’s mostly seen around poker tables, and he nodded once, “Proceed.”

When you let your opponent think that they have an advantage, you gain much, much more than they could predict.

Feeling smug, Caradoc sat back in his chair, almost lazily, as if the conversation they were having was nothing more than to make plans for tea in two weeks or so. Nonchalant, even. It felt strange, but almost necessary. And finally, finally, he opened his mouth to utter the sentence he had been mulling around in his head for the past three days.

“You will provide my family and me protection through the Order, and in turn I will tell you everything I know about James Potter and Frank Longbottom’s current states, as well as where they exactly are located.” Caradoc had stated it quietly enough, and with such ease that it seemed like he had been practicing to say it all his life. Yet, he had almost stumbled over the younger boy’s names- it just didn’t seem right to use them when he had, in fact, known of them during his school days. Strange times.

Albus wasn’t sure why he hadn’t been expecting this, but Caradoc’s statement caused his shoulders to straighten a bit more and he sat back in his seat, looking thoughtful. Was that all Caradoc wanted? With such valuable information, you would think that he could have tried (not necessarily got) for much more. But, Albus wasn’t concerned about the ‘bribe’ of sorts that Mister. Dearborn had placed in front of him, as the headmaster was quite aware who was really in charge of this situation.

“Mister. Dearborn,” back to formalities, because Albus was quite suddenly annoyed with the man sitting in front of him, “the promise of your family’s protection was given to you far before either of these two young men were taken, so your...stipulations are absolutely void, which leads me to believe that you think of this as…no, I do not think you find this a joke, or if you find this funny, Mister. Dearborn, because it is not difficult for you to realize that I am a man of my honour and that I am a very, very good wizard.”

His hand flicked and the sound of numerous locks clicking in the door behind him.

“Instead of a joke, I see that you did not take my original offer seriously, Mister. Dearborn, and that is why I do not take you very seriously, but you will give me whatever information you want, and if it turns out to help return the two men, your pending requests will be accepted.”

Albus looked at the man over his half-moon glasses, “Is that understood?”

Ah. Caradoc had not been expecting this sort of reaction. His smile slowly, slowly slid off his face as it dawned on him that he had trapped himself in a situation. This was a bit of a problem, wasn’t it? If had worded it differently, maybe… He had seemed to overlook the fact that Dumbledore’s offer still stood. Caradoc had only assumed that since he hadn’t gone to the meeting, and was now officially a Death Eater that it would have expired.

Actually, that was the first thing that had come to his mind. He had simply figured that by using what information he did know would make that offer come back and not disappear forever. If he had known it still stood, then he would have- well, things would be different. Then again, it wasn’t as if what he got in return matter that much anyway; to him giving his up wasn’t that particularly important.

It wasn’t particularly thrilling that it now seemed like he was locked in the Tower with a seemingly-angry and very powerful wizard. No, he would have liked to pass that part if it had been necessary. But, Dumbledore wouldn’t hurt him, no no, that was entirely too low and uncharacteristic- too much like the Dark Lord. Nonetheless, Caradoc still felt his pulse quicken a bit and his mind race faster, getting that anxious feeling.

Well, he just as well should give him what he wanted- Caradoc himself could really care less just as long as Dumbledore didn’t blow him up into smithereens later. He kept his voice under control, “They are in France --- Paris, actually. And still alive, though barely. The Dark Lord isn’t planning on keeping them for much longer, though, if they don’t keep on agreeing with him.” If Caradoc hadn’t felt too anxious, he would have given a sly smile as the feeling of power quickly overwhelmed the anxiety again.

Paris, France. It suddenly became quite clear to Albus and he stood, hands still on the desk in front of him. He stared down at his hands for a moment before looking back up at Caradoc. This was the first solid lead he or anyone working on finding young Longbottom and Potter and after almost a month, the idea that they were actually getting somewhere was overwhelming.

Finally.

“You’ve done a good thing, Caradoc,” Albus said with a nod, and another flick of his hand unlocked the doors. The man would be tailed if this information led to a trap (which, with proper warning, much damage could be averted, but if it happened…), but for now, he was free to go.

Caradoc didn’t even feel dense for even believing for a second that Dumbledore would keep him there, or even hurt him. No, he was too consumed in the overcoming feeling of power and - Ahaha, he had finally- Done. It was done. It took Caradoc a lot of self restraint to not start laughing right there, so instead another crafty smile appeared on his face. Dumbledore would keep his word; there was no issue about that. Silently, he stood up, hardly moving the chair while doing so. “I would think so,” he said quietly before turning on his heal and leaving the room completely.

* * * * *

Who: Caradoc Dearborn and Emmeline Vance
What: Caradoc gets owned
Where: Hogwarts
When: January 8th, 1978 (right after above thread)

Emmeline had taken it upon herself to be the scout outside of Dumbledore’s office for the rest of people involved in this entire fiasco. Of course, there hadn’t been much reason to do this, and she was really falling behind in her studies already even though it had barely been a week since class had started up again, but, Emmeline didn’t care. There had been absolutely no news, and since The Meeting (it deserved capital letters in her head), nothing else had stirred.

Except the sudden appearance of her roommate Juliet’s big brother, who, if Emmeline remembered correctly (and she always remembered correctly) he’d been in Slytherin. Now, she tried not to hold House grudges (she did have a Slytherin in her past, sort of), but the man was looking awfully smug and heading up to the Headmaster’s office and…and coming out, looking smug, but knocked down a few notches.

Hrm. Her intuition told her that Caradoc had just been told off, and, well, any information was good information, in Emmeline’s head.

“Caradoc? Caradoc!” she squeaked, trying her best to act like a giggly seventeen-year-old, chasing after him down the corridor to the entrance hall, heels clicking rapidly, “You’re totally Juliet’s brother, aren’t you? Are you here to see her? Hi, I’m her roommate, Emmeline? Do you remember? Maybe?”

Caradoc had hardly noticed the younger girl as he passed by her when exiting the Headmaster’s office. Why care about anyone else now; he felt on top of the bloody fucking world, and no stupid sixteen-year-old was going to make him stop on his egotistical march back down to Hogsmeade, and eventually back home. But, this girl seemed extremely persistent- and familiar, how could she be familiar? Finally, Caradoc gave up trying to shake her off and stopped a few steps outside of the entrance hall. Bloody girl, she probably wanted to talk to him, or something trivial like that.

Hell, this girl looked young. Cardaoc watched her for a few moments, instantly concluding her to be rather annoying with her mannerisms. How could this girl be Juliet’s roommate, he would never know; his sister couldn’t stand annoying people just like he was unable to. It was likely more than not that she was lying, girls did tend to lie. Still, what did she matter? There would be nothing that concerned him that she could bring up. Finding her almost entirely useless, he decided to try and dispose of her quickly. “No, I don’t,” he answered curtly, still watching this Emmeline roll back and forth on the balls of her feet as she looked up at him.

“Really? I did visit one summer and it was just so much fun and---” Her mouth dropped into a bit of an ‘o’ shape as if she’d recalled something, but she was entirely put off that this jerk didn’t. Hrmph, he’d only driven Juliet absolutely insane the entire time she and Anneliese had been there, it almost made Emmeline thank her parents for not giving her a brother, they seemed quite useless.

But, no one just came in and out of Dumbledore’s office lately, only other professors, Aurors, officials…she’d kept track, so for this Caradoc character to come out of no where and simply waltz on in was highly intriguing. If the dumb act didn’t work for long, Emmeline would just cut straight to the case.

Her eyebrows quirked, “Is Juliet in trouble? Is that why you were visiting Dumbledore?” Emmeline put a finger to her mouth as if keeping a secret, “I won’t tell, I promise.”

Yes, Caradoc definitely found Emmeline excruciatingly annoying and bothersome. Why in the world did she care about whether or not Juliet was in trouble? If she was in fact Juliet’s roommate (and best friend- the name was coming back to him now), wouldn’t she know if his sister was ‘in trouble’ or not? A small smile curled on Caradoc’s lips as he found a very easy ploy in this girl’s spiel. Or whatever it was that she really wanted to find out, because it was obviously not about his sister and her current being. “If Juliet was in trouble, wouldn’t it be correct for me to assume that you would know about it? You are her roommate, after all. So, apparently, there’s nothing for you to keep a secret about,” Caradoc said smoothly, fighting off the sudden urge to give an impatient look at his nails.

Really, did this girl think he was that stupid? Apparently, she didn’t know the Dearborns as well as she thought she did.

Okay, so with that out of the way and with a tug of her robes against her shoulders as it was quite apparent that Caradoc was not at Hogwarts to wish the Headmaster a happy new year. The hapless look in her eyes disappeared immediately and she pursed her lips, just short of glaring at him. Emmeline really didn’t give a damn if he was Juliet’s brother, as, well, Frank was far more important to her than anyone else in this castle, and if this berk had any information about his whereabouts, she wanted to know about it.

“So, you weren’t here about Juliet, the Quidditch match isn’t for a few weeks, which, by the way, Slytherin is going to lose miserably because they’re absolutely dreadful this year, and…well,” Her eyes cast up and down him as if he were something lowly like a house-elf, “I severely doubt that you’re here requiring for a teaching position, so, Mister. Dearborn, what could you possibly have had to say to the Headmaster that interrupted his rather busy schedule?”

Emmeline’s eyebrows were high as she waited for a response.

“You aren’t a very smart Ravenclaw,” Caradoc spat out quickly before he could stop himself. Who in the bloody world did she think that she was? Emmeline, Emmeline- what was the girl’s last name? He would have remembered, if she hadn’t gotten his temper going so quickly, and his face soon formed to set his jaw straight. She had no clue who he was, did she? He noticed the looks she was giving him, and Caradoc figured quite quickly she felt he was incompetent. Ha, and she was here, interrogating him like some lowly pawn. Oh, ho. Caradoc’s last look melted away as quickly as it had come, and he shifted slightly in his spot.

“Because if you were smart, you would have noticed that I didn’t decline your accusation of Juliet’s connection for my arrival at Hogwarts,” he started evenly, raising his eyebrows to match hers. “Especially since you seem to be so keen on finding things out, I expect more from you.” His eye twitched slightly in annoyance as he mulled over the fact that she was actually wasting his time. Oh, maybe he should show her his mark, just to get her all excited and pass out. At least then he would be able to step over her body swiftly and powerfully to leave.

“But you told me I would know if Juliet was in trouble,” Emmeline was quick to point out, barely containing her smirk, ah, hell, she smirked anyway, what did she care about this guy, “and that there’s nothing to keep a secret about. So, either you are a liar and can’t keep your lies straight, or…well, there’s something you don’t want me to know, and don’t know how to say otherwise.”

Honestly, did he really think that Juliet would hang out with morons? Caradoc was absolutely up to something, and Emmeline, even if he left right this instant, was determined to find out what. Dumbledore, Emmeline was quite sure of, was not doing much more than searching for Frank and James, so the fact that some…old Slytherin had just waltzed up there…Emmeline’s hopes jumped sky high, because this means that there was probably some new information about the boys.

At least, she hoped. “Is it about Frank and James,” she might as well try, “Come on, I know what kind of circles the Slytherins run in, they know all about this kind of stuff.”

She was certain Juliet would kill her for suggesting her brother was a Death Eater, but Emmeline, quite frankly, did not give a damn, as long as she was able to work some sort of information out of him.

It didn’t take very long for Caradoc’s smug smirk to drop and become replaced with a very straight, stone one. This girl was so incredibly annoying, and really, she was beginning to ruin his good mood. His eye gave an unnecessary twitch as he continued to regard Emmeline, as if still trying to totally figure her out.

Though, he found it hard to control his inner emotions as she made a rather, straight forward suggestion about a certain unspoken something. No, the whole bloody reason he had come here was because--- it took a lot of his self-will to not frown deep with an angry sigh, or better yet simply turn his wand on her.

“So then maybe you’re missing something,” Caradoc gritted through his teeth, holding back a sneer. Hell, if she wasn’t going to be civil about this, then he as sure hell wasn’t. His younger sister needed to make new friends; he didn’t like the ones she had now. “I don’t think Juliet would appreciate finding out that her best friend accused her one and only older brother of being a Death Eater, especially since she’s had enough trauma in her life from the past two weeks.” He sent her a low glare, as if trying to hide behind the information he had just ‘slipped.’ “Why would you want to cause more drama in her life right now?”

Hell, just because she was pissing him off, there was no chance in hell he was going to tell her anything about Potter or Longbottom. Not that he would have in the beginning, but at least he could have teased her with dangling something above her head. “In fact, I think it’s an offense to wrongly accuse someone of something like that, simply because of their house during their school days.”

His new expression was all Emmeline needed. Her smirk widened and all of a sudden, a wave of relief passed through her. Oh, she really had no idea if this man was a Death Eater, but now, now she was quite sure that he was in possession of some knowledge about Frank and James (which would lead her to believe he was a Death Eater, but if he was helping out her cousin, she did not give a damn). She felt giddy that he could possibly know, that she was sure he knew. Hell, she wanted to kiss the man for being so dumb as to actually react to her comments.

She took a step closer to him, noticing that he was a lot taller than her and not feeling at all small or insignificant. Her grin was the closest to an actual happy, satisfied smile. If he went and told Juliet about her accusations (which she could get away with, since she never really specified what she meant), Emmeline would simply deal with the consequences. All that mattered was Frank, right now.

“Gosh, Mister Dearborn,” she said, tilting her head and letting her hair fall prettily over her shoulder, “You’ve just made my day.”

Yes, Juliet needed new friends. She needed to dump this, this-- this girl and start befriending people who would not make him feel, make him feel incompetent. No one made him feel like this-- ever. And Caradoc had taken pride in that fact for many, many years. But now, now this bloody, fucking--- this sixteen-year-old had squashed him, made him feel like a bloody first year Hufflepuff or, or even-- this wasn’t over, this wasn’t over at all. Feeling sick by her sweet look, Caradoc squinted his eyes into two slits and took a large step back away from her.

He refused to admit he had just lost to some, some--- no, it was impossible. She had known something else, he had been missing a part of this equation the whole time. She had known more than him going into this, that was the only explanation. He had not acted stupidly, she had just known what to look for. There was no way he could have-- his previous emotions certainly hadn’t gotten the best of him. No, no. Though, he would have to watch himself more. There wasn’t room to slip up, and he had no intention to do so.

“You better watch yourself, Miss. Vance. Hide that pretty little head of yours if you know what’s good for you.”

“Oh, you think I’m pretty?” Emmeline asked, using that higher pitched voice from earlier. She let out a giggle and tossed her hair over her shoulders, feeling as if she could take over the world. Man, this had been so incredibly easy, Frank and James would be home within the week…not that she knew what Caradoc had told the Headmaster, but if he’d gotten so riled up about it, then their return would surely be soon.

With another grin, she patted his chest, “I’ve got to go to class now, I’ll tell Juliet you said hello, okay?”

Her fingers waggled in an annoying good-bye wave, and she hurried up the steps to the entrance hall, grinning almost maniacally.

Who: Dorcas Meadows and Caradoc Dearborn
What: :]
Where: Dearborn Manor [Wales]
When: 8/14/07


Caradoc didn’t care that Dorcas was back, like everyone else did--- or at least, he wanted to believe so. He was allowed to be more than mad; she had left with nothing more than a stupid little note, briefly explaining why she was leaving, and that had been that. Nothing else, no other contact just, a note. Which he had promptly crumpled up and thrown right into the fire, so really he could go as far to say that she hadn’t really seemed to care at all. And even though deep, deep down at the bottom of his hear, he knew that it had probably been best for her to leave because threat, and retraining, but all his mind was saying was ‘Blah blah blah she totally left you.’ Which, Caradoc didn’t do very well with handling.

So--- yes, that was why he was refusing to see her. At least--- at least she wouldn’t be able to find him here, at his parent’s house. Well, Caradoc supposed now it would be called his house, but. Nonetheless, he didn’t remember ever mentioning it to her, or where it was. But he was not hiding from her, no no. If he really wanted to hide from here, there were other places he could really go.

Loud knocking woke him up from the mindless game he had been playing (kicking a box on the floor), and for a second, Caradoc thought it was Dorcas. But, that would be impossible; she wouldn’t know to come here. With one great swing, once he got to the door, he opened it. Though, it only took him about three seconds to recognize who it was and without a second thought, Caradoc pushed the door right back in Dorcas’ face.

No, he was not talking to her.

Dorcas had been expecting this. She had been expecting an angry Caradoc, even an angry James, because if someone had left the way she did, with only leaving her a note, she would've been more than angry. But it wasn't all her fault, she was practically forced to leave without a word to catch up with her training, and heal properly. She had no choice, and because she didn't expect Caradoc to understand on his own, she was going to make him understand. Force him, even. Why? She wasn't sure. Maybe because she thought she deserved it, or maybe because while in Brazil, she has come to the conclusion that it was pointless to lie to herself anymore. She wanted him to be her boyfriend, and she wanted to be his girlfriend, and she wanted it to be real and not just as a fake cover up for her parents. She also wanted to be able to tell him that before either of them died, which, let's face it, wasn't too unlikely to happen in times like these.

So, after stopping at his apartment and finding it empty, she did a little bit of research and apparated to his parents' house only a few hours later. She didn't stop to reflect about how weird it seemed that he'd be there after his parents' recent death, because there was simply no room in her head for that. What she was about to do was going to be difficult for her, because she was Dorcas, and she needed all her strength of mind to do it. And apparently, all her physical strength, too.

She was ready to spill it all the second the door swung open, the second she caught a glimpse of his face, but instead, she had quickly put her foot down and push at the door with her hands- he was not going to close it, she was not going to let him! Briefly thanking her training and her Quidditch days, Dorcas forced the door open enough to slip inside, her face reflecting a bit of her anger.

“What the hell, Dearborn! I came all the way, the least you could do is hear me out!”

If Dorcas was angry, then Caradoc was on his way to near fury. Now, not only had she—but actually kept the door open so that she could come in when it had been very obvious on his part that he did not want to see her. Or talk to her. Or look at her, because he knew, he knew that once she started talking, and he had had enough time to watch her and take her in, his anger just might subside. Which could not be allowed at all, it just simply couldn’t. He wanted to make her understand the severity of all of this. Last time, he had waited, but what about this time? What about the next time she left and he wouldn’t hear from her for months? Caradoc simply refused to have to go through that whole sickening process again, of waiting and hoping and--- argh, it made him sick.

So, with a deep frown and anger spread all across his face, Caradoc glared at Dorcas and tired his best to not notice how different she looked. And how he so badly wanted to– no! Anger, angry, he was supposed to be angry at her.

“I don’t want to hear it, Meadows!” Caradoc responded finally, turning on his heal and leaving her at the front door. His body gave a light shake as he walked away. It was rather stupid actually, she could just follow him.

And she did follow him. His expression pained her, his anger bothered her, and it was all new. She would never have cared before, because their relationship wasn't a relationship, it was just two strangers finding comfort in human touch, without any serious consequences. She would have wanted it to remain that way, but right now, it was impossible to even hope for it. Dorcas couldn't stop thinking about him. He was across half the world, but constantly on her mind, and she was smart enough that that had to mean something. It came off as a shock; of course, because she thought of herself as a loner, as someone who'd do the job then die, without any mushy life partner crap. It was the basis of all her plans and choices in life, and dropping it all of a sudden was unnerving.

But those months away have made her accept it, and made her realize that she has to compromise if she wanted to be truly happy. So, completely unlike herself, she followed him, her face supporting a frown and her feet quickening to catch up with him. As soon as he was within reach, her hand flew out, touching his fingers at first. Then a second time, and managing to hold his palm.

“Dea- Caradoc” her voice had a plea in her that she was almost ashamed of, but didn't attempt to hide. Her feet stopped moving, and her hand tugged on his, pulling him back, hoping he'd stop, too. “Please.”

Her touch made his skin jump, and Caradoc faltered for a second. She wasn’t allowed to do that, briefly graze her fingers on his while he was trying to get away. It was too much; Dorcas had been gone too long and for her to do something like that-- oh damn it all, now she had his whole hand, which made it even harder to leave quickly. She felt so warm against him, and he could feel her only a bit behind him. No, no, this wasn’t--- no.

He wouldn’t turn to her, nope—no, not one bit, he refused to and--- of course he turned around to her. Caradoc gave a feeble attempt at trying to break his hand away from hers, but failed all the more; she was holding on just that tight, or he was truly unwilling to let her go, he would rather not identify. Either way, he knew Dorcas had finally managed to stop him from walking away.

“Don’t!” escaped his lips before he could stop it, referring to the tone of her voice and the look on her face more than anything else. A sharp pain cut through his chest as he looked at her; she looked so visibly torn with her eyes almost pleading at him to let her talk, at least. And Dorcas had never used that tone before--- with him, and he wondered momentarily if she ever had with anyone else. It certainly wasn’t like her to. A deep frown formed on Caradoc’s face as the anger eased away. Only a bit, though. Sighing fully, he looked down at hands, barely registering how little pain he felt for how tightly it looked like she was holding onto him. Oh, fuck.

“Fine.”

When he stopped, when he turned around to face her, many things happened at once. Dorcas felt relieved that he did, since that was what she was trying to get him to do. She also felt that very familiar tingle inside her, and every inch of her body seemed to be pulling her toward him, to get close, to press against him. But also, she felt stuck. The words she had arranged beforehand to say were gone, they seemed to flee out of her head as soon as his eyes locked with hers. Her hand seemed to grip his harder, and she was urging herself not to falter. Not now, not when he agreed to listen.

In fear of giving in to the temptation of getting closer, she took a step backward, but remained close enough to hold his hand, and reach her other to touch his face. She needed to say it all, now, before it was too late. She had to, and she had to say it right. “I'm sorry” was the beginning of it, in such an honest tone she thought her voice would break. She kept her had on his cheek though, trying to get as much as she could, just in case her words failed her and he turned his back on her for good.

“I shouldn't have left like that, but I really had no choice. Caradoc- they wouldn't let me keep contact with anyone, not just you. I'm not trying to put the blame on someone else, I promise- And I thought about you a lot- I thought about you all the time. I don't want you to be angry with me. I don't want us to keep pretending that we don't need what we had. I don't want to keep pretending that it's fake, when it's the most real thing I've ever had with anyone. You have to forgive me.” There. Nothing like Dorcas, words strange to her own ears, words that worried her- except the last. She couldn't keep it at that, not at an order. “Please.”

Everything that Caradoc had been preparing to say and willing himself to feel went completely out the window as Dorcas brought her hand up to his face, and placed it gently on his cheek. No, no--- he stared blankly at her, almost trance-like, as she talked and for a few moments, he felt numb. No certain emotion was coursing through his body, nothing at all. And everything around them disappeared. His worries that Juliet would come barging into their spat at any moment had vanished. He didn’t care. The only thing he was focusing on was Dorcas’ words and her wide, dark brown eyes. Though---

‘It's the most real thing I've ever had with anyone.’ At that, Caradoc felt his stomach twist so violently, he actually felt nauseated, and everything snapped back into reality. He felt legitimately nauseated to the point where he wondered if that burning sensation would come up his through throat. She couldn’t say that, she couldn’t, she couldn’t--- they had started off as nothing, and that had been all it was meant to be, and he didn’t want to admit at all that he knew things were changing, and that he had thought about her, too. Not in public, not in the journals, not to other people, but--- late, when he was still up with aggravating obligations or lying down to sleep, his mind would almost instantly go to her. For her to say that, lay it all out on the table--- Caradoc was unsure whether he was visibly shaking, or that was just his mind spinning out of control.

He stayed silent for a few moments, staying limp and looking at her deeply. He had no idea what he was saying; the words seemed to be forming by themselves and spewing themselves out into the air. “I---” Caradoc felt his throat get caught, and he broke his gaze from her to look down at their feet. He did, he did need her, as much as he hated it--- needing other people, it was true, and it was so fucking true. And Dorcas had just come in and---- dazzled him, to say the least, and now--- they were doomed, so doomed. He let out a light choke, opening it would pass as a sigh.

“You--- I--- just can’t----” he stopped again, shaking his head from side to side, wanting nothing more than to rest his head on her shoulder, and take in the smell of her hair. It almost pained him to think that they could become something more than just--- whatever they were. But Caradoc wanted to, oh, how he so wanted to more than anything. The idea of Dorcas being with other men (fucking Brazilian men), filled him with such an anger, and made him feel so sick, it was rather unbearable.

Fine, he had to show her-- it was time, he had been silent for too long and--- finally, his body moved and Caradoc’s hand reached to hers on his face, bringing it down tightly to their sides. He felt his fingers interlock with hers and without hesitation, moved closer to her, lightly meeting his lips to hers most pleasantly.

The next few minutes felt worse than being constantly beaten by a bludger on the head while under the Cruciatus Curse with dementors surrounding you, Dorcas was certain of it. Her stomach was flipping back and forth, her skin burning, and her mind tortured by the words she herself has uttered only seconds ago. She has said it all, put it all out, and him not saying anything at first wasn't helping. She was ready to fold back almost immediately, take her hand off his skin, give a fake laugh and say something about a joke, then leave the place and never see him again. She was tempted, but damn her Gryffindor bravery for keeping her rooted to the spot, her eyes still locked into his, waiting, hoping.

He started speaking, and she actually felt better for that split second. It was better than turning around and walking away, in any case. Way better. As soon as she was lifted up, though, she was cruelly cast down again, even lower than she'd been a second before. ’Just can't’? No, no, no. She wished he'd stop shaking his head, she wished he'd say something like, just can’t deny it anymore, but nothing followed, and she felt the wind knocked out of her. So that was it? That was what she risked herself with? She was weak, she admitted things she refused to acknowledge even to herself before, she was touching his face, she was pleading- and he just can't?

Dorcas could feel the tears starting to prickle in her eyes, and that made her hate herself even more. She was going to cry now? That was against every bit of her being, against who she was, is and will be, and yet, she couldn't stop it. He was shaking his head, then he was moving her hand away from his face, and Dorcas felt so small. She shouldn't have come, she shouldn't have said anything to him, of all people. Why did she even think, for a second, that he'd understand? Since when did he understand? He hated her. Or, whatever he felt, wasn't even close to-

She felt his fingers intertwining with hers- that couldn’t have been an accident. He was moving closer, and her eyes fell shut with her tears halfway across her cheeks, and then she felt him, his lips, and everything ceased to be. There was nothing, absolutely nothing. Just him, and her, and their lips and fingers linked together. Dorcas pushed violently against him, relieving the passion that has been locked inside her for too long, and claiming whatever was hers.

Caradoc let go of one of Dorcas’ hands and wrapped his arm around her waist to steady himself. He couldn’t say he was surprised at her forceful reactions, but--- eased by them. She hadn’t changed much at all, and he was calmed greatly by that fact. She was still here, maybe a bit tanner and a bit leaner, but as a whole it was still the Dorcas Meadows he had grown to yearn and need for.

He almost didn’t notice her tears, at first, until sporadically opening his eyes for a few moments. Why--- when had she started crying? There was no need to, he had forgiven her, they were together again--- more than they had been before, she was here, inside his house (nearly no one had been allowed in the house except for Emmet when his parents have been alive), and, everything was becoming very real. Very, very real. That nauseating feeling simmering at the bottom of his stomach still hadn’t gone away, and for a second he felt it rear back to life. Though, it was subsided easily enough by clutching onto her side harder and feeling her body close to his.

After a few more minutes (they had eventually staggered to the side of the room, choosing a nice notch of a wall to use for support), Caradoc heard the distinct sound of feet padding above them on the ceiling. Holy---- fucking--- Merlin’s--- just as violently as they had started, Caradoc pulled away from Dorcas, making a noise he hadn’t quite heard before. Still clutching onto her skin--- her body, her bones, he made way to pull her close again and bury himself into her.

“My sister’s upstairs,” Caradoc breathed into her neck while making a pained expression, letting his body sigh and lean all possible weight into Dorcas.

It felt so familiar, but still so new. The thrilling, breathtaking Caradoc was kissing her, confirming her words, agreeing with them, and she couldn't think anymore. The hand he let go moved out of its own accord to wrap around his neck and pull him even closer, she didn't mean to do it. Her body pressed against his seamlessly, without her brain's command. Her lips parted and let him in, giving herself all to him for this moment, and she couldn't think about it at all. She only felt it, and it felt good enough to make her knees falter.

Dorcas Meadows was weak at the knees, and she was relieved they had reached a wall she could lean on and keep herself up, afraid of tumbling down and breaking the kiss. Nothing was allowed to break that kiss, that perfect kiss that meant so much- but a set of feet upstairs did, and Dorcas almost groaned when he pulled back. But at least he was in, all in, and she had nothing to fear anymore.

She bit on her bottom lip and looked upwards toward the ceiling when he spoke, glowering at it, as if it were the sister herself. Although, she didn't mind him being buried in her, clutching her sides for dear life, breathing onto her skin. No, she didn't mind one bit. If anything, it made her breath hitch up and her eyes threaten to roll backwards in ecstasy. And yet, she ached for more. The fingers of one of her hands were already making their way for the hem of his trousers, lingering near the button, forcefully held back.

“We,” she breathed out after a second, letting her other hand dive into his hair, “need to go somewhere.”

“Anywhere,” he gasped, acting as if in a drunken state. Somewhere, anywhere--- Caradoc hated it here, he hated this house, he hated that the house-elf could appear at any moment, he hated how every single corner of it reminded him of his parents, and he didn’t want to share that with her. If anyone asked, however, he was more than pleased to take this house. But Dorcas, she was different; she would always be different with him.

Oh, hell, she was going to kill him. Her touch burned him and the shock she was sending through his body was enough to make his heart beat too fast for its own good. How--- how could he have been so mad before, it was stupid. Well, he hadn’t been that stupid, but it was stupid to begin with and--- everything could rest, for now. Caradoc was never one to let things go, but for now, he could most definitely make an exception. Dorcas, Dorcas--- his mind was so flooded, so focuses, he felt as if he could barely breathe. They need to leave, go somewhere, now. It had been far, far too long.

“Come on,” Caradoc said huskily, unwilling to detach from Dorcas, and even more unwilling to have her touch stop. But eventually, and most painstakingly, he had to. “My--- place. We can go there.”