angry

Her babies, her babies--- how is it that all of her children had wound up being caught at the epicenter of the second war! How? How! Never would she have thought that Hogwarts (and the Wizarding World for that matter!) would become the most dangerous place for her children to be, let alone believe that they themselves would be in the middle of a war that still wasn't over twenty years later.

It just made her so--- furious to think that if Anthony had been born just a mere four months earlier, or Peter six months later, both of them could have been home, safer with her. They could have hid Ophelia, or said that she had run off, or faked an illness, or sent her off to the States with Sebastian and Elijah, or--- something to get around the new mandatory attendance laws. But no, instead she had to hold back tears as the letters they sent her were obviously ripped open and read before they had gotten to her, and sometimes their letters wouldn't come at all... she didn't even know about Elijah, because it was too unsafe for them to contact her!

She swore if Alecto had laid but one bony finger on any of them--- to think that she had once been stupid enough to consider Alecto one of her friends! That thought alone sent another roll of anger through her as she sat, steaming, alone in her house. Because what else could she do! All the options Mackenzie had left was go to the hospital, come home, and wait on the edge of her seat until either Anthony, Ophelia or Peter sent a letter if they could reassuring her everything was fine when Mackenzie knew it most certainly was not.

She knew Anthony, he was the only one that could apparate out of there, but that didn't mean he would! He would rather die then willingly flee what was going on at Hogwarts, getting that courage from his father. She knew Anthony would stay there and fight if anything happened. And Ophelia just would have been allowed to Hogsmeade--- Peter was just a first year! They were no match for death eaters like her brother had been or--- anyone from that side of her family!

Her little Peter, he was just a eleven. Her hands balled into two tight fists as she held back tears of rage.

And Orpheus--- Orpheus! Twenty years ago she didn't believe for a second that it had been him who killed the McKinnon's. But now! He was--- he was helping with this "Registration Commission"! Helping put muggleborns in Azkaban on the ridiculous notion that they stole being magic from other people. She hadn't heard of a stupider idea, and if Orpheus hadn't so plainly gone insane, she would have beaten him for the things he was doing.

If Evan was still alive--- at that thought, Mackenzie's mind went flat, refusing to ponder over how Evan Rosier would react to these recent developments. She didn't want to know, she didn't want to think about what else he had hidden from her, because most likely, he would have disappointed her just as much as the others.

She pushed her hands into her face in a vain attempt to curb her fury. She couldn't even think about Sebastian and Elijah anymore, it hurt too much to not know where they were, or if they were truly safe. Not that she didn't trust Caradoc and Emmeline, they had been evading death eaters for years now, but---

An owl teared through the open window, and Mackenzie greedily jumped up to snatch it from the bird. Her eyes quickly scanned the hand writing, and she immediately recognized it has her eldest. Anthony! Anthony! She hadn't heard directly from him in weeks, only through the constant letters that Ophelia had been writing for the three of them...

first crush

For the hundredth time in the last hour, Mackenzie checked, and in many cases readjusted, the bow in her hair. It wasn't that she hadn't trusted her mother to put it in correctly the first time, just that... well what if her hair slipped, making it fall out of place? Or some boy decided to play a trick on her and pull it out without her knowing? What if it started to flop? What if some of her other hair got out of line and covered the bow completely from view? That was what she was mostly afraid of. The ribbon in her hair was essential; her mother promised the turquoise made her hair and her face much more alluring--- whatever that meant.

Either way, this ribbon was her source of power for the night. Without it, Mackenzie knew she would not feel as confident or able to finally approach who she had been dying to approach for weeks. Now would be the only time she could talk to him without-- outside forces pushing and tugged at her to walk up to him now and say this and laugh like this.

Matilda wasn't apart of the family so her family hadn't even been invited.

Granted Mackenzie had use to dread coming to their family reunions every year; she never seemed to be able to locate her brother until the very end of the night, all of the Wilkes scared her, and Gabriel's sister had always been too young for Mackenzie to want to hang around with her so that usually left her either following her mother around, or exploring the host's house alone.

But tonight she could really care less that Christopher had once again ditched her. The Wilkes looked as intimidating as kittens, and Mackenzie had even talked to Rebecca. Tonight was her night, nothing could stop her; she was determined as she would ever be.

Gabriel Corner was going to notice her, and he was going to talk to her.

All because of her ribbon.

And her new shoes.

She smiled faintly as he finally detached himself from his parents, and Mackenzie knew she had to act quickly or else Grayson would get to him first. He wasn't anywhere near Gabriel now, but she felt like her cousin had the uncanny knack to walk through walls, or something. One minute he was one place, and then the next he was silently behind you! Hence why Mackenzie secretly feared that side of her family.

Mackenzie checked her hair one more time, and flattening her dress with her hands. Wasting no time, she daintily made her way through the crowd within a few seconds. She took a deep breath before tapping him on the shoulder to get him to turn around.

"Hi Gabriel."

betrayed

"Dear, come in here for a moment, will you?"

This had the potential to be extremely unpleasant, Mackenzie could tell already. Whenever her mother's voice rang like that, it only meant trouble for either her or Christopher. And seeing as how her brother wasn't in the house, or even living there anymore, it definitely meant Mackenzie was going to be subjected to another thing her mother felt dire to address.

"I have the greatest news!" Lisette Loftus clapped once her daughter finally entered the room. Mackenzie mustered a polite smile, beginning to mentally prepare herself for the worst. But the only thing that was running through her mind was the translation of her mother's language: 'I've come up with another way to control your life!'

"From the Dearborns," Lisette supplemented, which instantly made Mackenzie's eyes go wide, despite how hard she tried to control herself. Why was her mother talking to the Dearborns? And about what exactly? Nothing could come good from her mother talking to other people, let alone other crazy people with children her age--- that had a son. One she had gotten to know very well, publicly so. This thought quickly set in, and Mackenzie had never prayed so hard for her mother to suddenly declare that Christopher was engaged to Juliet.

"Mackenzie, dear, you are engaged!" Her mother appeared to nearly burst at the seams with excitement: the complete opposite reaction of her daughter. Mackenzie stood still in slight horror, unable to find words to speak.

Caradoc? Caradoc Dearborn? Her housemate, who she had known for ages, and-- she had just finished six year for crying out loud, why was her mother so bent on marrying her away to---not that... there wasn't anything wrong with Caradoc (mentally, yes, but as a person Mackenzie tended to find him usually amusing), but, she most certainly did not want, had never wanted (alright, maybe that was a lie, but things don't count when you are six), and never would want to marry him.

Caradoc.

Mackenzie? Mackenzie Dearborn? Her mouth continued to stay shut as she blinked furiously in front of her mother.

Wait. Didn't Caradoc have an older, and more importantly, single uncle?

"Caradoc?" Mackenzie suddenly gasped for air, fully pleading for at least one thing to go right.

"Well of course, darling, who else? He is a fine young pureblood, the match is perfect! You even know each other quiet well, I have noticed, so you should consider yourself lucky!" Lisette's hands clasped together happily, a wide smile replacing her previously growing agitated one.

"I----"

"Jill already sent over the ring! She did not seem to think it was necessary to have Caradoc come over here and propose, though that would have been much more appreciated, not to mention make things much more formal. But! It is not the worst," Mackenzie's mother waved her hands quickly as she spoke, as if chattering on about some new gossip she had just acquired. "The whole family will be going over there tomorrow to celebrate!"

"Jill? Ring?" Mackenzie suddenly felt like she was going to vomit. "Mother---" Her voice was hesitant, which stopped Lisette Loftus dead in her tracks to fix on her daughter suddenly very harshly.

"Do not you tell me you have no intention to accept this, Mackenzie," Lisette's voice changed for the worst, and Mackenzie's silence only seemed to make her grow with anger. "It has already been decided, everything down to the dowery! So do not forget to realize how fortunate the fates are being to you with this offer, especially since things ended obviously unfortunately with Mister Lestrange!"

"Mother!" Mackenzie gasped, her hands going to her face. How-- Rabastan Lestrange had been... she didn't even know how that had happened. One minute she was sitting at home over the summer, and then the next Rabastan was in front of her, telling her that she was "his" of sorts and--- her mother was doing this because of Rabastan Lestrange? Hadn't her parents been satisfied with her developing (to them, anyway) public relationship with Evan Rosier? Why not get her married off to Evan! Why not--- to the best of their knowledge, she had never set foot near anyone less than pureblood, so why the sudden---

This realization hit Mackenzie like a hippogriff, and she suddenly fought back tears. Did they know about Sebastian! She had kept a considerable distance from him all last year because of Rabastan, despite her inner feelings, she had gone to the coming-of-age ceremony with Evan because she knew Sebastian would have never been allowed to set foot in it, this summer and seventh year had been looking in their favor, she had been in such a good mood lately! They had been writing letters, and planned to see each other. They had had the change to start something, but now--

"Mackenzie," Lisette sounded off sternly, standing up and pulling Mackenzie out of her own thoughts. "Take this ring, and put it on your finger. There is no reason to cry, you have just become a blushing bride-to-be, engaged to a very upstanding family. This is what you have been waiting for." As she spoke, her mother took Mackenzie's hand and assertively slipped a silver ring onto her ring finger.

"I will hear of nothing else aside of your gratitude and pleasure about this new development, do you understand me?"

How could they do this to her? How could Caradoc do this to her? Why, why was the world so against her own happiness, was that too much to ask!

Eyes full of tears, Mackenzie looked up at her estranged mother, half pitifully and half full of fear as to what her mother (and her father, for that matter!) would do if she disagreed. "Yes, mother."

baby

All of her children would be beautiful, Mackenzie had already decided, regardless who their father was. With dark curly hair (definitely curly, they needed soft ringlets that could be combed straight or left curled), and big beautiful blue eyes, even at birth the healers would be taken aback by their striking features.

Of course, Mackenzie would be just as happy if healers weren't automatically taken aback, because sometimes babies were covered in--- gook after birth, so, the healers could be astonished when they came to check on her babies later.

And after birth, they would be educated completely, well-versed in all the things proper boys and girls needed to know. Like speaking french, and playing the piano.

Mackenzie would love to have a little pianist in the house.

And dance, her girls would know how to dance, while being on the cusp of wizarding fashion, to the point where they would want to design their own clothes because nothing else was good enough for them.

Her boys didn't need to dance, or know fashion, just as long as they were dashing and knew all the right things to say, and treated the ones they loved right. If they did that, Mackenzie would let playing the piano slide. But only if her sons were just the right mix of devilishly bad and dangerously good.

And they would be--

"--- pureblood, of course," Matilda Rowle interjected Mackenzie's thoughts in a matter-of-the-fact tone, using her fingers to count off all the conditions needed of her future brood. Blinking slightly, Mackenzie sat up straight in her seat, completely unaware she had answered Matilda's question in her head instead of out loud. Luckily, Matilda hadn't seemed to have noticed.

"Caradoc would make gorgeous babies," Matilda smiled coyly as she spoke, and Mackenzie had no doubt that somewhere down the line that was all her friend really wanted from him, and why they were dating currently in the first place. Not that he had any idea.

"And Evan," Matilda continued, stinking her chin up high as she spoke directly to Mackenzie now. Ever since her break up with Orpheus (which hadn't really been that big at all, they just didn't see the point in dating each other anymore. Very amiable), it seemed like all Matilda wanted to do was get her a newer, better boyfriend that would obviously make him jealous.

"Oh--- quit it," Mackenzie rolled her eyes, batting Matilda's hand away from her. "He's so---"

"Tall? Blonde? Vampire-like? Very true, Mackenzie, all very true...."

He so could not give her curly dark haired babies with strikingly blue eyes, that was what was wrong with him, and why he could never ever have her children.

They would have the cutest dimples ever seen too, and...

traumatized

Ho-ly shit.

She was an aunt and a second cousin? To the same person. A child. This child. That was in her hands. Because she had thought it was Orpheus'. So she had decided to swing by the room before going home. To be nice.

To Orpheus.

But instead her brother had sex with her cousin.

And then got pregnant.

And then decided to keep the pregnancy.

And then gave birth to the baby.

Then kept the baby. That she was now currently holding.

Because....

Mackenzie hastily pushed the baby back into Amery's arms--- she was going to be sick.

Wary

"Why are you wearing that?"

Mackenzie looked up at her betrothed with a pathetic face, wishing very much that she had worked harder to avoid him. She was rotten at it, obviously, because he had easily ambushed her right outside the Great Hall while everyone else already filed in. It was just the two of them now, aside from the select few stragglers here and there.

"Mackenzie," Caradoc started again impatiently as she didn't respond to him. What could she say! She knew there was nothing she could say that would please him. Her mouth flapped opened and closed like a fish for a few seconds, but no words formed. He sighed, took her by the arm and pulled her out of the doorway.

She hadn't seen him all summer, their parents strangely hadn't let them go near each other. Or actually, her mother hadn't allowed Mackenzie do anything except sit in the house and go over the pending wedding. Mackenzie's only reprieve was when Matilda, Alecto, Giada or someone of that 'respectable stature' would be allowed to visit or get permission to go out for a few hours. But even then it had been miserable.

"We're not going through with this, you know that." His voice was tense, and he moved closer to her to look her in the eye. But instead, Mackenzie looked down at her hand, the blinding diamond catching her eye. Of course, it would be ideal if they could just say that none of this was going to happen, but that didn't mean everything would go away and turn out the way they wanted. Their parents were very determined on this, she didn't have any other options: she had to do what they wanted.

"Mackenzie," Caradoc's voice was much different this time, she could hear a hint of apprehension in it. "Just because our fucking parents think that they can do this doesn't mean we actually have to follow along. I'm not marrying you. You're not marrying me. Can we just get on with our lives already? My summer was ruined enough, I don't need my seventh year to be the same. Take that bloody thing off before---"

"No, Caradoc-- please," she spoke finally, making him instantly stop pulling the ring off her finger mid tug. He looked at her with accusing eyes, and Mackenzie didn't need to ask what he was trying to convey: 'what'?

"I had to beg my parents to even let me come back to school, if they found that I went against their will... we have to think of some other way to get out of this, or just accept the fact that maybe there isn't--"

"I'm not marrying you," he cut her off quickly, his face pressed hard now.

"I don't want to either, but we can't just parade around here saying it's not happening because they will find out and what happens then? People talk! Us--- this happening--- is very big!" If it wasn't her, she knew she would have gossiped about a development like this with Matilda and Alecto for weeks.

"Who's going to say anything?" Caradoc demanded.

He had to be kidding. She feebly gestured to the room full of people behind them, and Caradoc gave an impatient grunt.

"So you're just---"

"Mister Dearborn--- Miss Loftus," Professor McGonagall interrupted them as she walked up the steps from where the first years were being held. She examined the both of them carefully for a few moments, and Caradoc dropped his hands from Mackenzie. "I suggest you go inside and take your seats, we are about to start the Sorting Ceremony."

The way Caradoc stood, and by the look he sent her, Mackenzie felt she was forced into doing whatever he decided to do. And he made no indication that he was going to go inside, so unfortunately neither was she.

"Now, Mister Dearborn." Before either of them could react, the professor grabbed Caradoc by the ear and proceeded to drag him toward the doorway.

"Let-- I'm going, I'm--- let go!" Mackenzie watched as he skidded and flailed under her grasp, unsuccessfully undermining her surprising strength.

"Miss Loftus?" McGonagall inquired, finally letting go of Caradoc to give him a shove into the hall before turning back to the younger girl. From the way she was looking at her, Mackenzie had little doubt the professor was above using the same kind force she had used on Caradoc for her. She ducked her head down and walked quickly toward her.

"Of course, Professor."

drunk

"She's a horrible drunk," Alecto Carrow observed unhappily, looking down at the sleeping form of Mackenzie Loftus on a the couch.

"I'm very disappointed." Caradoc Dearborn shook his head in solemnly agreement. He reached for Mackenzie's hand, picked it up, and let it drop back down with a thud. No reaction. The girl continued to sleep peacefully, as if just taking a quick nap.

An alcohol induced nap.

Earlier in the day, the group of slytherins had decided that their form of entertainment for the night would be to get Mackenzie drunk. Their first choice had been been Emmet, of course, but Orpheus had expertly pointed out that Emmet Belby was onto their late night recreations as of recently, and maybe including him this time would be a smart way to keep them on his good side.

They were going to go after him next week.

"I knew we should have gone with Belby," Matilda Rowle whispered to Evan Roiser, who still refused to enjoy any fun. He hadn't wanted to do this to Mackenzie, the sap. It was mean. Well they were all mean, so that argument hadn't gotten very far.

"How do we know--- that she's not in a coma or something?" Emmet asked anxiously, shifting to get closer to Mackenzie. He got so close, in fact, that Alecto felt it necessary to shove his face away.

"Just because she's asleep doesn't mean you can invade her personal space."

"Kissing her won't wake her up. She's not a fairytale princess, Belby," Orpheus Travers mused, earning a high five from Caradoc for his insult.

"I don't even know how this happened," Matilda started, her hands going to her hips. "It was like with every sip she got more depressing to talk to, and boring. I have never seen someone yawn that much. And then she just--- poof! Lays down and goes to sleep. Who does that?"

"Someone who should have been left alone in the first place," Evan scowled, his arms clenched at his sides as he took turns to glare at all of them.

"Hey!" Matilda started again, turning now to Evan with an insulted face. "Look, we all decided that she needed this, her life has been very stressful lately with the whole Rabastan thing, and then her parents owling her every five minutes about her prospects because apparently they're interested in--- that" she waved in the general direction of Caradoc, who suddenly went to sit up and defend himself, but was pushed back down by Alecto. "So don't you go all 'protector' on her because we were only trying to--"

"I'm taking her upstairs," Evan interrupted casually. Continuing to ignore Matilda, he pushed past her to gently pick Mackenzie up off the couch.

"Booo!" Caradoc and Orpheus called behind him as he walked away.

graduating

"So... did we win or lose?" Emmet Belby asked bluntly as he followed his friends back into the Slytherin common room. He frowned slightly as he walked, shooting a hopeful glance over to Caradoc Dearborn, who was quietly hissing with Matilda Rowle just a few feet away from them. Both of their heads were bent down low, but that didn't stop them from glaring adequately enough at Emmet.

"Shut up Belby," Evan Roiser growled, shifting his arm slightly on Mackenzie Loftus' shoulders to make an aggressive shooing gesture with his hand. Mackenzie didn't even try to send Emmet a sympathetic look, and simply buried her face deeper into Evan's arm as a response.

"What do you think?" Orpheus Travers drawled as he reached up to pull at his now red hair, with no sunny response. They looked as if they had walked through a Gryffindor-themed clown house, where the main attraction was body painting. All seven of the Slytherins were completely covered in head to toe in a gold and red (and all color mixtures in between) paint-like dye.

"I may have something for this," Alecto Carrow muttered under her breath, and silently walked out of the room in search for a potion that would remove the stains.

"This is disgusting," Matilda suddenly proclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air and nearly hitting Caradoc in the face during the process. "I have red under my fingernails! It looks like I'm bleeding."

"Oh no, under your nails," Caradoc mocked, rolling his eyes (which had turned red) dramatically at her. He shook his head, but let out a low sound of pain as Matilda promptly smacked him in the chest. "What the fuck, you're the one---"

"At least you're fairly certain your hair color will be the natural color you were born with," Orpheus stated simply, which only made Matilda and Caradoc stop their bickering to turn and focus their attention on him.

"Your hair? Your hair? You're a bloody boy, what do you care if---" Matilda started, taking out one finger to point vehemently at Orpheus with her every word. She opened her mouth again to speak, but was surprisingly interrupted by Mackenzie.

"I'm brown covered with red spots!" Mackenzie cried desperately over everyone else, sufficient quieting the entire room at that moment. She broke away from Evan quickly, near tears in her eyes.

"Mackenzie..." Evan started wearily, taking a step forward to her, but she only stomped him away.

"I didn't even want to do this, and now I'm covered in-- in--- some goo and look like I belong on some commercial for-- for a severe skin rash gone awry! Or a--- mud monster! That--- that---" Mackenzie continued to scream, stuttering as her hands flew through the air.

"--- is incredibly unsightly?" Caradoc supplied innocently, earning him another smack, but this time in the face.

"Darling," Matilda started quickly, pushing a stunned Emmet out of the way as she walked toward the other girl. "Alecto will have something, we'll be good as new in a few minutes. Then we can get back at those mongrels properly." But before she could reach her, Mackenzie had already stormed off toward the exit, her hair flying behind her as she walked.

"Don't follow me!" she shouted over her shoulder as the entrance to the common room sealed itself shut. Unbelievable. Mackenzie let out a huff of fury, walking as fast as she could. Though suddenly, she stopped just as she was about to turn the corner toward the stairs. Wait. What was she doing? Out here, anyone could see her like this, which meant that---

"Mackenzie?"

Eyes going wide, Mackenzie was barely able to stop herself from covering her face with her hands as Sebastian Goldstein peered from around the corner, looking guiltily content in having caught her.

"What?" she snapped, most definitely not feeling the same for him as he was for her then.

Sebastian gave a meek smile and came out from behind the corner, putting down two water balloons on the floor as he did so. Mackenzie's eyes narrowed greatly, and in response, he nudged them out of view with his foot. "I just--- wanted to make sure you were okay."

She crossed her arms over her chest, and tried to remind herself that she did not look like a mud monster, but her regular self that would, in this situation, be taken seriously.

"Which you are obviously not, so good thing I came!" Sebastian rushed quickly, taking a few more steps forward. Mackenzie let him approach her, but didn't say anything or indicate she was paying attention to him. He waited a moment when she still didn't respond, and stopped. "Right?" His voice was different this time, actually concerned as he wavered on his feet.

Mackenzie sighed, but tightened her arms across her chest. "Yes," she breathed out, nodding her head slightly. A clear smile broke out on Sebastian's face and he quickly closed the gap between them.

"I'm sorry," he rushed, reaching up to her face to hold it in his hands. "I tried everything. I said-- that we should go to Hufflepuff, and that it wasn't really worth it. I even said vandalizing was wrong, but I think that only got them more into it than out." Sebastian smiled brightly again, watching her eagerly for any sign that she was letting up.

And, in spite of herself, Mackenzie felt her lips twitch upward. This wasn't fair, she was mad at him for things that he had co-conspired in.

But she had always found it hard to resist his dimples.

"I'm brown," she moaned, her face breaking into a pathetic frown. Sebastian laughed, and Mackenzie unlatched her arms to comfortably bury her face into his chest. "It's not funny," she mumbled as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"I still think you're the most attractive girlfriend I've ever met, brown or not," he responded merrily, and if Mackenzie didn't want him to hold her, she would have smacked him for that obviously amused tone.

sebastian

Sebastian Goldstein did honestly own softest pair of lips ever created.

Mackenzie would know; she was hardly able to civilly keep herself away from them. Unable to reserve herself yet again, she brushed her fingers across his bottom lip suddenly, pausing as necessary. Even if they were jammed in a dark broom closet at the moment, she still felt like this was an incredibly intimate moment.

As her fingers moved slowly, Sebastian clutched her closer to him. Though it seemed impossible, there apparently had been just a bit of space previously left between them. He smiled (how funny it was to feel his lips move like that), and in reaction, Mackenzie blushed.

His breath was hot on her fingers, but in nothing short of a wonderful way. "One of our better snog spots," he murmured, lips now moving to press themselves on her hand. Mackenzie blushed again, and for a few seconds she feared that he would notice how her hot cheeks were as he put his cool palm up to her face. It pleased her when he didn't say anything and simply let his hand rest on her face.

"I think so," Mackenzie agreed, dropping her hand down to his chin as she tilted her face up to his. She felt his mouth smile again, which only made her pull his face close for a quick kiss. "Excellent hunting tonight, Mr. Goldstein." She breathed through the side of her mouth, still pressing her lips to his every other beat.

Sebastian let out something of a low chuckle, and Mackenzie sensed that he seemed to square up his shoulders in something of a faux-proud stance. "Well," he stated quickly. "I will tell you." As he spoke, his hand slowly slid to the back of her neck. "It was very hard to find a door." Mackenzie smiled, holding back the laugh forming in her throat. "And then open it."

She sighed. "Then aren't I the luckiest girl in Hogwarts," Mackenzie cooed, her head tilting to press her lips to his jaw.

"Yep," Sebastian concluded. Suddenly, he shifted her face to his for a more direct kiss (no more of this teasing). Though surprised, Mackenzie took this new force most willingly, instantly pushed back. Reassured, one thing led to another, and Mackenzie soon found herself needing something to support herself up against. Her hand rushed backward, intending to simply plaster itself to the wood of the door. But instead, it hit cold metal.

"Oh---!"

Without warning, the door flung open, sending both of them flying out of from closet and down onto the ground. While falling to the ground, and being fallen on should, have hurt, Mackenzie didn't feel anything. Her immediate and only concern was if any spectators had just witnessed their little fall. Luckily, the corridors seemed to be empty as they should be; it was just around midnight, after all.

"Sorry! I'm sorry! Are you---? Do you---? Here," Sebastian hurried, his face flushed as he stuck his hand out to help her to her feet. Once standing, Mackenzie straightened out her skirt to give her face more time to not match his.

"I'm fine, thank you," she supplied gently, a small smile playing on her face despite the fact that their snog fest had most definitely ended for now. Mackenzie sighed, and she brushed her skirt off again. "Let's go," she said quietly and reached for his hand. She could tell that Sebastian was less than thrilled with actually continuing their rounds, but he didn't say anything.

Until next time.

bitchy

Mackenzie, in a rare show of emotion, pulled her mouth together tightly as she regarded Audrey Hewett's reflection in the window. She and Vinny Gudgeon, the new Head Girl and Boy, were going over new rules and news for this year, as well as anything else the Headmaster had felt was necessary to make sure the prefects knew about. Everything was running smoothly.

Except that it should be her standing up there in Audrey Hewett's place, and everyone knew it.

Mackenzie's hands, placed strategically in her lap, clenched each other tightly as she continued to restrain her body and face from showing any inner emotions. The ridiculously sized ring on her left ring finger pushed painfully into her right hand that covered it, but at this point, that issue was one of many that plagued her these days.

One life-ruining aspect at a time, thank you very much. She had enough trouble dodging Sebastian Goldstein's questioning glances now, the subject of Caradoc Dearborn was the one she really needed to avoid as long as possible.

Letting out a silent sigh, Mackenzie continued to block out anything that came from Audrey's mouth. In her opinion (which meant the correct one) among the four of them, Mackenzie was fairly certain she bested Audrey, Bess Zeller and Mary MacDonald in every way, shape, and form. Bess, the Hufflepuff from hell, and Mary, a complete joke if Mackenzie was going to be honest, never had a chance, leaving just Audrey and herself left for Head Girl contention. And Mackenzie, having to deal with her Slytherins day in and day out for the past two years, had shown through them that she could literally handle anything. Anything anyone dished out, because she had most likely already experienced it. Therefore, she had been a shoe-in, there was no one else perfect for the job.

Though obviously something had gone wrong because there Audrey was, wearing Mackenzie's Head Girl badge, as she, Mackenzie, sat next to Giada Vance like that fact wasn't relevant at all. Becoming Head Girl had been the one thing Mackenzie had been able to look forward to in the summer, the only shining light and main reason why her parents had promised to let her come back to school and poof! That had to be taken away too.

This just wasn't her year, was it? No one could give her a break, not even the Headmaster, apparently. Everything was far too much to ask. Sourly, Mackenzie tightened her cheeks as she bit down on the inside of them. She shifted her gaze down to her hands, not daring to look anywhere near other's faces.

As much as she wanted to stand up and scream injustice, that was not really an option. She had to be a good loser, put on a right face so no one could know what she was really thinking. This thought only made Mackenzie pull her lips tighter together even more, and close her eyes for a few seconds. They shot open again once she noticed someone was addressing her.

"Mackenzie?" Emmet Bebly tentatively stood in front of her, a light smile on his face as he looked at her. "Ready to go?" he asked, slinging his bag over his back.

With a quick glance, she noticed that people were leaving. She looked back at Emmet with a smile, and making sure to keep her hands clasped together as much as possible, stood up. Leaving would be nice, yes, but little did he know that she would not be sitting in their regular compartment with everyone else. Luckily, Giada had promised to provide a hide out shelter in her compartment, and Mackenzie was going to take her up on that offer.

"Yes, let's go," Mackenzie responded crisply. She picked up her bag to quickly rush out of the compartment, smothering down anything that was left of her inner emotions. No time for that now, did she?

sad

"What are you looking at?" Matilda Rowle asked suddenly as she looked at herself in her compact. The girl continued to inspect her image, fixing a random stray hair or brushing something off her face as she and Mackenzie sat on a bench in the courtyard after class.

Mackenzie clutched her books tighter to her lap as she watched two figures walk across the other side of the courtyard, sickeningly mesmerized by them. The sight actually made her insides ache. It was extremely challenging to push down the spreading feel of heaviness in her heart at that moment, so it look her a few seconds to find a voice to speak.

"Sebastian Goldstein and Mary MacDonald," Mackenzie mumbled quietly, unable to keep her eyes off them as they walked, holding hands. Mary was chatting away at Sebastian, no doubt recounting some event earlier in her day. Her head bobbed away as she spoke, while he watched her intently with a large smile.

"It looks like they're dating," Matilda observed quickly as she glanced over her shoulder in their general direction. A look formed on her face like something rotten smelling was in the air, but Mackenzie didn't notice. "Good riddance, they can go and be ugly mudbloods together."

Mackenzie didn't respond, only blinked quickly to control herself. This would happen eventually, it wasn't like she expected him to never date anyone again, or not move onto someone else--- they technically had never happened, so why seeing them together made her feel this way was silly. He had been dating other people all last year, and she as well; plus now she was technically engaged, so. Nothing had ever happened between them--- well, nothing substantial, so she should be happy that he was able to get on with his life so easily and not get hung up on side glances, gentle implications and awkward feelings.

It was good that both of them were recognizing being adults here.

Except... if she was suppose to be happy for him, why did she feel so miserable? And why did she feel it was only appropriate to suddenly bring up how unsuitable and wrong Mary MacDonald was for him?

In a moment of weakness, Mackenzie felt her mouth twitch into a small frown. Maybe some things were just never meant to happen. A silent sigh flew out of her lips before she could stop it, and Mackenzie felt her head titled sadly as she continued to watch them, now recognizing that this image alone represented him walking away from her.

"Why do you care?" Matilda finally looked away from her mirror, shutting it with a snap. She looked at Mackenzie expectantly, completely catching her friend off guard.

"I---" Mackenzie stared, still unable to tear herself away.

At that moment, many things happened at once: Emmet Belby and Caradoc Dearborn had appeared behind them, suddenly making a distracting commotion as both of them addressed the girls at the same time. But Mackenzie didn't even try to listen to what they were saying, and barely noticed Caradoc rest his hand on her shoulder because then, by chance, Sebastian glanced over to where she was sitting. It was only for a few seconds, but in that moment their eyes locked. Hungrily, she sought for his attention to convey how this was killing her, how despite what it seemed she was trying and she understood, she understood, but if it was up to her, things would be much, much different.

But before she could do that, his eyes broke from hers and flicked to Caradoc. Mackenzie watched him regard the Slytherin for a moment, go stiff, and then shift to place his arm over Mary's shoulder, pulling her closer.

A quiet gasp escaped her as her mouth openly dropped. If that display didn't sober her completely, she didn't know what else would. Taking a few deep breaths through her nose, she snapped her mouth shut and instinctively shifted back closer to Caradoc. She wanted Sebastian to see this, and she wanted to stare him down as he finally walked out of the courtyard, but all Mackenzie could muster was redirecting her gaze down to the ground.

"Just curious," Mackenzie muttered, her eyes not daring to look up. She continued to focus down to her hands, now feeling like all of gravity was directly pushing down on her. She could feel Matilda's gaze loosen on her, as well as Emmet and Caradoc's voices grow louder, but Mackenzie said nothing to them until later at dinner.

crying

She was honestly the stupidest person to ever walk Hogwart's corridors! The most ridiculous girl to ever think--- speak! She should not be allowed to grace the castle's halls, since obviously she had learned nothing about life from all her years here. Nothing! Nothing about how to live with other people, how to deal with other people or even express herself correctly! Just a complete wash, because if she had learned all those things, she wouldn't be in the position she was now!

Mackenzie sat, a pathetic ball of a mess slumped against the wall, her arms wound tight around her legs as she cried her eyes out. At this point, she deserved crying alone in the middle of the night. Her actions and decisions of late were disappointing, and for that she earned --- despite pressing her head into her knees (and therefore prohibiting her awareness) Mackenzie could still sense someone approaching. Unable and unwilling to control herself, she continued to cry.

There was no need dart her eyes up anyway: she knew who it was. Evan always had a certain presence. He didn't speak, which was usual, and she felt him shift closer to her in what she received as the most comforting way possible from him. He stood there, simply waiting for her to calm down, or speak. Whichever came first.

"Everyone hates me," Mackenzie sobbed out loud finally, not daring to look. She must look so ridiculous right now, just crying in the middle of the corridor, and for that, Mackenzie refused to make eye contact with him. Sebastian hadn't come to do rounds with her (shocking, seeing as she had bailed on him many times previously), leaving her to walk alone at one o'clock in the morning.

"Why would you think that?" Evan asked, continuing to peer down at her with an expression that only could be described as curiosity.

Mackenzie pressed her forehead further into her knees, finding that her cheeks were beginning to hurt. "Because--- because people I don't even know just glare at me across the corridor! Matilda-- Matilda won't talk to me, Caradoc refuses to look at me, Emmet avoids me like death, Orpheus just--- doesn't respond at all, Alecto too! And Sebastian---"

Mackenzie immediately caught herself, her eyes opening wide. Oh no, oh no what had she just said, what had she done--- Mackenzie finally looked up miserably to Evan, using her fingers to wipe at her eyes. Say something that would make sense!

"--- left me alone to do rounds!"

Evan's eyebrow rose with intrigue, though he gave no overt response to her slip. As always, he did not respond right away, and took his time to sit down next to her on the ground. A long sigh escaped him as he sat, his body heat warming Mackenzie greatly. "What else can you expect from a Gryffindor?" Evan asked quietly. He folded his hands into his lap and peered over to her.

Mackenzie looked at Evan silently for a few moments, letting his words sink in. Unfortunately, they only made her feel worse and she suddenly found herself sobbing much louder and much more bashfully than she ever thought she could achieve.

"I--- I--- I---" she began, shaking her head vehemently from side to side. "--- can't--- I hate--- this." Her shoulders dropped in remorse: she had never felt so defeated in her life.

Evan let out something of a knowing murmur, his lips pulling back as Mackenzie continued to cry. It took a while, but eventually, he wrapped his arms around her to pull Mackenzie closer. Wanting nothing more than a shoulder to cry on, she quickly buried her head into Evan's shoulder and gripped the front of his robes tightly.

"It's going to be fine," Evan spoke, his chin moving to graze the top of her head. Mackenzie continued to cry, and he made no attempt to stop her. Goldstein, no matter how well he thought he was concealed in the shadows, needed to see this. "I will take care of it," Evan spoke again, shifting his arms tighter around Mackenzie.

flustered

Mackenzie froze, her hand clamping onto Sebastian's mouth to stop him from making any further movement. They had been having a well-deserved romp--- that was, until she heard distinct sounds coming from the door to her dormitory room. Her mind begin to spin with anxiety as the door opened, and her eyes went wide, as did Sebastian's, once they both heard Matilda Rowle drop something to the ground (presumably her bookbag) and call out to Mackenzie before walking across the room and into the bathroom.

Oh Merlin, she felt like she was going to vomit. This was bad, this was very bad. No one could find out about Sebastian, especially Matilda, and look where he was now! Laying on top of her in her bed. She had stupidly smuggled him in here like a fugitive because Matilda had said she would be out for the day. That was the last time she let Sebastian convince her smuggling anything was a good idea.

Swallowing hard, Mackenzie craned her neck out as much as Sebastian's weight on her would allow. "Hi," she strangled out, watching as a devilish grin appeared on her boyfriend's face while he continued to hover above her.

No. No no, no no no---

Mackenzie quickly began to move, unceremoniously shoving Sebastian off and away from her. It was a bit callous, but more important things were at stake here. If Matilda got wind of a boy being in here, that would be the end of it. And when she saw it was Sebastian? Say goodbye to life as they knew it. Mackenzie couldn't even--- think and Sebastian was making huffy noises at her but all she could focus on were the noises her roommate was making in the other room.

"Get under the bed," Mackenzie hissed suddenly, turning to Sebastian and beginning to push him toward the edge. Her curtains were still closed, but if he made it there then she could--- she could---

Sebastian gave an offended look first, then began to resist her. "Hey-- no!" he hissed back, pushing back against her. "I don't want to go under there," he shook his head for reinforcement.

Her jaw dropped in frustration. Where else was she going to bloody put him? On the ceiling! She didn't have time for this, Matilda was right there! The world's largest mouth ever was her roommate. Letting out a few anxious sounds, she awkwardly crouched under the hangings to rearrange her clothes properly, Sebastian being no help at all. Eventually Mackenzie lost her balance, sending herself crashing to the floor and out of the safety of her bed.

"Ow," she moaned, both her hands going to her head. Why was it that she always lost her balance and fell around Sebastian? She saw him pop his head through the curtains with a worried glance, then quickly retreat at the sound of Matilda's voice.

"Are you alright?" her friend asked, exiting the bathroom to walk over to Mackenzie. Despite still being a little dizzy, Mackenzie could still read Matilda's face; she was starting at her like she had four heads.

"Oh, yes--- I was just--- taking a nap. Groggy," Mackenzie explained, looking up at her friend from the floor. "You scared me," she added in, delayed.

Matilda waved Mackenzie off, flipping her hair behind her as she crossed to the other side of the room to her bed. "Oh I'm sorry darling, I didn't even think you would being doing that now, what with N.E.W.T.s coming up."

Feeling cross, Mackenzie pitifully untangled herself from herself. Eventually sitting up, she opened her mouth to respond, but Matilda beat her to it.

"You know, speaking of! I was going to stay in the library until dinner, but then about an hour ago, I had an epiphany. I don't really care about studying, or have any immediate use for N.E.W.T.s in the future. So I asked myself, why am I wasting my time here when I could be doing better things? Then Caradoc came over, you know how distracting he can be, and eventually we started playing fun little tricks on a couple of Gryffindors at another table." Matilda clapped her hands together at what seemed like the end of her story.

Mackenzie gave a feeble smile, letting out a weak laugh. "Well---"

"And then---"

Inwardly, Mackenzie sighed. It was a going to be a long while until dinner.

working

"Now I want you to listen to me very carefully," Mackenzie spoke in a hushed tone, taking the time to look at each of her children specifically as she stood before them. They were, along with many other families, waiting in a large, lower level room of the Ministry to prove their status as wizards. "Whatever happens, you are not to say a word, do you understand me?" While she spoke in an authoritative tone that hadn't been used since her prefect days, Mackenzie could not have looked more calm as she casually fixed a pleat in Peter's robes and brushed away a strand piece of hair from Ophelia's face. "If you are addressed, answer the question with as little as possible. Nothing of anyone beside yourselves," she looked pointedly at Anthony this time, knowing how vocal he was becoming concerning the war.

Before any of her children could respond, a loud 'NEXT!' filled the room, and Mackenzie, feeling uneasy about being here a minute longer, jumped to get this over with. "Backs straight and chins high!" she whispered urgently, giving them one last look before whipping her back to them.

As they approached the inappropriately small desk, Mackenzie struggled with the rising fear within her. Everything should go over smoothly, they couldn't contest her pureblood status, which would be more than enough to protect Anthony, Ophelia and Peter. But--- she glanced quickly behind her shoulder, seeing that the three of them had filed into a perfectly straight line after her. The sight instilled courage within her; if those three could get their act together, she certainly could.

"Status?" The rough man behind the chair grunted, his quill at the ready.

Mackenzie closed her eyes momentarily, hoping the children wouldn't judge her too much for the display they were about to witness.

"Mackenzie Loftus. Pure," she responded coldly, her lids flying open to take extra care and look at the man in front of her directly above his brow. Christopher had taught her that trick when she was younger and he hadn't deemed her a bloodtraitor-- an easy way to exuded dominance by holding your gaze higher than the other's line of sight.

The man, who Mackenzie vaguely recognized, began to flip through what seemed to be a never-ending box of files until pulling out a rather thick one. Propping it open, he read it in a dull tone, his eyes flicking up to her as he spoke.

"Loftus, Mackenzie. Formerly Goldstein. Pureblood. Children; Anthony Sebastian Goldstein, Ophelia Arianna Goldstein, and Peter Ethan Goldstein. Halfbloods. Elijah James Goldstein; Status unknown. Is this correct?"

"No," Mackenzie spat, her eyes turning into two tight slits. "I have no son under the name of Elijah Goldstein." For a moment a heavy silence fell, the official's gaze shifting from her only at the sound of her children rustling behind her.

"Tree?" he asked suspiciously, and she could see he was wondering how she would pull this off. So just for him, Mackenzie mustered the greatest glare should could, eventually shoving the family tree into his face only after putting in a few words, most of which centered around the likes of 'disgust' 'dishonour' and 'disgraceful.'

She would never be fully able to repay her grandparents for owling over this family tree without even the slightest indication.

The ministry official took time to look the parchment over, pressing his wand many times to it as well as inspecting it close up before deeming it authentic. He handed the parchment back to her, which she took in florish.

"These are my children," Mackenzie spoke in such a distasteful tone it immediately reminded herself of her own mother. Her hand waved back to them, but she refused to turn and look. She did not want to see their faces. "All apart of the most reputable House of Loftus, as shown by their presence on the tree." Yes, definitely her mother.

The man began nod slowly, but she knew better; they were not done yet. "But we have on record that Elijah James Goldstein has been attending Hogwarts for the past five years. He exists, and you are on record as being one of his parents."

Mackenzie took a deep breath, not even having to think as the words began to pour out of her mouth. "You dare question me? Over a disowned delinquent? One of unknown status! Upon realizing my grave mistake of ever being associated with that heathen, I immediately kicked him out onto the street!" Mackenzie spoke stiffly, her nose so high it would no doubt start bleeding any second. "His whereabouts are not my concern, though it seems I had wrongly assumed the Ministry would have located him by now and and dealt with the situation. He is not on the tree, and he is not my son."

The man behind the desk stared at Mackenzie for a few moments, then jotted something down quickly. "I see. And you have no idea where Sebastian Goldstein would be at this time?" She knew as soon as he asked it that he had been waiting to hear the answer of this question the whole time.

"Of course not, who do you think I am?" Mackenzie scoffed, her fake anger flaring. "The mere thought of withholding a mudblood from the Ministry?" She leaned in closer to him, practically hissing the last part of her statement. "I severely doubt my brother, Auror Christohpher Loftus, would be pleased to hear that you associating me, and therefore our entire family, with such an offense."

It was a risky name to drop, but one that immediately paid off. The man's face almost immediately seized, and he quickly crossed off nearly everything he had spent the last twenty minutes writing.

"Is there anything else?" Mackenzie demanded, her face displaying a new kind of fierceness now. One brow rose as she looked at him, practically begging for any more of his useless rebuttals.

"No, not at all Miss Loftus. You and your children are free to go. Don't forget to pick up your wands on the way out."

concerned

Mackenzie did not care that she was soaking Ophelia wet with her tears and clasping onto Peter's hair too tightly, because they were home, and for the next two weeks, her mind could rest easier knowing that her children were here with her. Granted, it was only a little bit safer here than at school, but that odd was good enough for her.

Unable to stop the free-flowing tears, she gripped them both so tightly that Peter began to squirm, and Ophelia's grasp around her mother's waist only tightened. Eventually, Mackenzie was able to dislodge herself enough so that she could take their faces individually with both her hands, a firm grip that she was accustomed to use with her less-than-cooperative patients. Not that her chilredn weren't being cooperative now, they were little angels.

"Muuumm," Peter whined quietly as Mackenzie pushed his hair back out of his face. Unseen by her, Ophelia took the opportunity to give Peter a quick whack on his shoulder to quiet him.

"Peter," Mackenzie sighed happily, content with the mini-inspection she had completed on her two younger children. She pulled them back for another tight embrace. Though somehow they accomplished wiggling themselves out from under her, leaving her arms empty for a few seconds until she lunged and latched onto her oldest, who had managed to miss her overbearing grasp the first ime.

"Anthony!" she sobbed, starting the whole tearful process all over again. Mackenzie didn't care that he was seventeen, therefore very much an adult; at this moment she wasn't capable of treating him anything less than her baby who she had raised, and who she was so proud of, who Sebastian was proud of and who---

--- had an extremely large bruise covering nearly all of his shoulder and collarbone. Mackenzie immediately stopped sobbing and she pulled back to look at his face. She had only seen it because she had tugged at his shirt, and that was all she could see now through her blurred vision, who knew what else he was trying not to show her, and--- a fresh wave of tears sprung from her eyes as she tilted her head sadly at her son, unable to put into words how much it pained her to see that on him.

"Anthony...."

"It's fine, Mum--- everything's fine," Anthony stepped in quickly, a very small smile apparent on his face as he looked at her. "Right guys?" Ophelia and Peter nodded on key, only worsening Mackenzie's fears that there might be a possibility they all weren't telling her, or Anthony was trying to keep a strong face for his siblings--- neither helped her calm down.

"Who--- who would like--- dinner? Let's-- let's see if we can order something?" She brushed her face as she spoke, giving the best smile she could muster to show that her blubbering mother fit was over for now. Though Mackenzie still held onto Anthony tightly as they all proceeded to the kitchen.

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