( That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older and they stay the same age. )

LAST PERSON IN THE MOTHERFUCKING GAME, THAT'S RIGHT! GO HAROLD DINGLE! I ALWAYS KNEW YOU WERE A CHAMP!

That said, it's time to get down to studying. If you hear the lovely tones of a flute coming from Slytherin, you should know that it's coming from yours truly. But before I commence to studying, I think that I should celebrate with a bit of a pick-me-up. Who's in?

Who's excited for dodgeball? I'm excited for dodgeball! At first I wasn't going to play, since I thought it would be a good opportunity to stretch my legs when it comes to practicing medicine, but then I realised that I would be denying the great Team Slytherclaw the experience of having my well-practiced aim on a team. Why, I'm the star of the water polo team! I can't go around hiding my talents!

And if anyone is in need of a quick pick-me-up before or after the match, I happen to have the proper contacts to make that sort of thing a reality.

Greengrass. Macmillan. How did the herbal remedies work out for you?

You know what I want? Flan. God, what I wouldn't do for some flan. I can't even remember the last time I had it, which is really saying something because I keep a very close eye on everything edible that enters my body. I probably shouldn't be eating flan anyway, though - I've got cycling to think about, and it would be awful if I couldn't fit into my bike shorts because I splurged on some flan. So, in the end, I think I'll have to go without the flan. A sad realisation, indeed.

Oh, right. I guess I should say something. I bet Dumbledore liked flan?

Really? Seriously? Is this a JOKE? I don my best scarf and what do I get? I get SHOT AT! By an overly patriotic loud mouth! I HAVE NEVER DONE ANYTHING TO YOU, WAYNE HOPKINS. AND WHAT DO I GET? WHAT DO I GET?

DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT SCARF COST ME? DO YOU? DO YOU?