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September 23, 1997 || Tuesday - After dinner
[Private to self]

Do I look like bloody Virginia Ironside?! I think the answer is a most definite NO.

It's not that I don't appreciate Laura and Booth's comfort with me that they feel they can come to me with their problems. I really don't have an issue with that - but really, how the bloody fuck should I know what to do in their individual situations? Hm? For one I'm not a female, lesbian, or a stinking poofter. And I won't be anytime in this lifetime.

It's like all of a sudden I'm the go to guy for that sort of business. WHY? WHY, hm?

I didn't even know Booth chased for the other team. Course, I can't really say I'm surprised. Not that - there's anything wrong with it. I just...it's kind of weird. No, it's not kind of weird - it's bloody weird. Why would you want to do physical things with...other blokes - your bits don't even fit properly! Unless you're doing inhumane...and unnatural things.... Bleh! What's the fun if there's no tits or pleasantly silky legs to stoke? But I guess if that's not what gets you off, I'm not the person to be passing judgment. I'll tell you this, though, whoever's fucking with the kid's head should just very well watch it. Even though I'm somewhat opposed to same sex relations - I'll have no bullying of friends in that department. And since it's obvious Booth's the skirt in the relationship I haven't a problem with kicking the other chap in the family jewels myself.

And then there's Laura - that girl...she's so exhausting. There's a reason we broke up. You'd think by now she'd have slowed down a bit - or at the very least decided it was time for a break. Obviously, she's a bit on the confused side - which she's entirely entitled to. But honestly, the whole bisexual thing confuses me to know end. I mean, I get the fact that some folks like both sexes I can get it. I can. I just, why make it complicated because you're not really in the mood for one or the other at the moment? Just sleep with whoever you want and don't think about it already! I mean, Jesus! Why does placing a name to an obviously confused sexual orientation have to matter!? I'm tempted to be narcissistic and say the only reason she asked me was so that I'd sleep with her - but at this point I don't much think I'm in the mood given everything going on. Maybe Friday I'll have changed my min--

Now, don't get me wrong - sex it great - it's possibly the best damn thing on the planet next to winning at a sport/challenge/bet/etc. But...fucking almost everything that moves at all hours of the day just doesn't seem healthy. Physical ailments aside - part of what makes sex so great is the fact that it's something that you don't get all the time. Yeah, yeah, I haven't stuck it to anyone in awhile - woe is me. But, seriously, it's that extra something special you get to look forward to when messing around with the girl ya like.

Speaking of....

I'd like to take this moment and say - damn you Susan Bones. I don't even know why I'm so ticked she snogged Corner. It's not like I've got those sorts of feelings for her least I don't think I-. Alright, maybe that's a lie - I don't know. After that whole Hogsmeade date from hell business I figured there might be more to it. Maybe, learning to like her like that wouldn't be so hard. I mean - she's not bad to look at and I like talking to her - but, it kind of weirds me out that she's so bloody naive. How could she honestly say she didn't know what she was doing? How can you say you like a bloke one second and then snog the biggest damn scallywag in Ravenclaw the next? I don't know what's up with her these days - and it quite honestly drives me bonkers. Maybe I should just leave it at that and not even bother...

IN OTHER NEWS....

I have detention Thursday, and Friday night. 8:00pm. Courtesy of professor Flitwick. To be entirely honest, I'm not 100% sure why I'm being punished for something I had no control over. Apparently asking the professor to "Fuck me" regardless of whether or not I had control over my mouth is inappropriate and can't go by unpunished.

I've come to the conclusion that it was a vocabularious hex of some sort. I'd seen something like it in one of those "Hindy Harelson's Harmless Hexes to Prank Your Friends" books. Harmless my arse! It lost Hufflepuff 20 house points and I bloody well have to kiss Flitwick's arse for the next few weeks to get back in his good graces. Thankfully, the hex wore off two hours after the start of it - but it wasn't pretty. "Fuck me" and "Fuck me now" aren't exactly conversational responses to all the questions in the world - people don't exactly respond to it positively either. Go figure.

Needless to say I'll smash the face in of whoever's responsible. If When I find out who it was they'll wish they had the ability to return to their mother's placenta!!! It's only a matter of time before I find out who it was. Someone will open their fat mouths and the information will get to me eventually. I'm still of the opinion it was that fucking arse Harper. He's not very bright.

Huh, I feel better.

[/Private]

Clearly there's some asshatery in our midst. I believe it was baked in a casserole dish of unfortunate circumstances by none other than God himself. It's a shame really that such an abomination has been let loose on the world. However, being kind and just as I am - I'll learn to live with it after I break it's face and bash it's head in with a bludger's bat.

I've decided September's just not a good month this year. Mines not being too kind these days - I think it's because I feed it generic food and water from the tap. I'm hoping if I change it's diet things will start looking up.

The weekend will be better.
x. Justin F.

P.S. Who wants to write my charms essay due tomorrow?