Senju Hashirama (codefive) wrote,
@ 2010-10-20 10:55:00

[003]
[has a secret, a very big secret. a big, huge one that he hadn't told his brother about and was hiding it from him until Hashirama could sort through his own feelings about what was going on. had he worked out how he was feeling? not really. but now it was to the point that he needed to talk to someone about it and out of everyone he knew, his brother was the one that he trusted the most.]

[work time, that is the best way to approach without nerves getting in the way, coming up to his desk, nudging his shoulder playfully.] You got time off for lunch?

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codefive
2010-10-21 07:56 pm UTC (link)

It's also a way for comfort, feeling connected with someone. I wanted to feel needed by someone again. Getting divorced, it is a scary thing, from having someone always there and then not having them. It's a hard feeling to describe and everything that led up to it, the mood was right. [ruffles his hair. so simplistic way of thinking, it was adorable.] We are waiting to see if she is late. It could be a false alarm. [chuckles.] I can stand in front of a murderer with a gun pointed at my face for a kill shot but I can't handle this nervousness from waiting to find out. It's crazy.

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	mizuwari 2010-10-21 07:58 pm UTC (link)
	How long does it take until she knows for sure? You haven't even properly introduced her to me yet... can she cook? Does she clean? [what >_> it's a valid concern.] (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

codefive
2010-10-21 08:04 pm UTC (link)

Another week. Then we will have to take the test and if its positive, then we have to see the doctor for full confirmation. [good, food is here now. getting something into your belly makes things better.] She can do both. One night she came over to make dinner and I don't know if she noticed but I couldn't stop looking at her the entire time. She has this aura about her, like she would be a good mother naturally.

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	mizuwari 2010-10-21 08:05 pm UTC (link)
	And if she's definitely, 100% pregnant? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	codefive 2010-10-21 08:06 pm UTC (link)
	I don't know. [rubs eyes. headache time.] (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	mizuwari 2010-10-21 08:07 pm UTC (link)
	She should consider your standpoint on this as well. But I guess you can't... force her to get rid of it. But you don't want to be a deadbeat father, either. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	codefive 2010-10-21 08:14 pm UTC (link)
	I don't want her to get rid of it and she doesn't want to but then I know that there will be times that I'm not going to be able to be there for her. If Madara crops up again, I know its going to take my attention and that is why she left. I should be so happy about this but I feel so confused. Just put a bullet in me now. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	mizuwari 2010-10-21 08:16 pm UTC (link)
	That would just make you a cowardly father. She knows your job and everything, right? You didn't lie and say you sold real estate? She should understand you'll be... busy sometimes. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	codefive 2010-10-21 08:22 pm UTC (link)
	I told her straight up. I couldn't have a repeat of what happened before. If she couldn't handle it then she had the option to go before it went anywhere and she said she understood. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	mizuwari 2010-10-21 08:40 pm UTC (link)
	Then... everything is okay? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	codefive 2010-10-21 08:46 pm UTC (link)
	You are so simple, it's adorable. Eat your food. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	mizuwari 2010-10-21 09:15 pm UTC (link)
	Not everything needs to be complicated. [mm, tasty noodles. _] (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	codefive 2010-10-21 09:22 pm UTC (link)
	I can't just be love or don't love. Have a child, don't have a child. I've already had someone attack you so what if they go after Konan? Or the baby? What if something happens to them? These things need to be thought about or else, I... she knows about the danger involved and still wants to see me but I don't know if I'm ready to make her face that. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	mizuwari 2010-10-21 10:51 pm UTC (link)
	Sort of like... she can say she accepts it because she hasn't experienced it? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	codefive 2010-10-21 10:54 pm UTC (link)
	Like that. She is strong but I don't know how strong. Stressing her out further while pregnant might cause complications... (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	mizuwari 2010-10-21 11:33 pm UTC (link)
	Well what are you supposed to do? You can't shelter her entirely... and it's still your baby. I guess I see your confusion. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	codefive 2010-10-21 11:49 pm UTC (link)
	Mm. I don't know what to do and it's all I think about and I still don't have any answers. I will be there no matter what happens but... it feels like she has had a bad relationship in the past. I don't want to hurt her in any way. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	mizuwari 2010-10-22 12:03 am UTC (link)
	As long as you're always there for her... It should... be easier, right? To make a choice. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	codefive 2010-10-22 06:01 am UTC (link)
	... We don't even know for sure yet so we could be jumping the gun. I wanted you to be the first person to know. How do you feel about it? If it turns out that she is pregnant? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	mizuwari 2010-10-22 10:06 am UTC (link)
	I think it's kind of exciting. To be an uncle. Sorry, you probably want something more down to Earth right? Kids are just so cute. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	codefive 2010-10-22 10:15 am UTC (link)
	I'm happy you are approving. [kind of wanted to be told what an idiot he was for having sex without protection. at the time, it just felt so right and... it was stupid, no matter how much he tried to justify it to himself.] You can spoil them as much as you want. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	mizuwari 2010-10-22 12:24 pm UTC (link)
	[does think you're an idiot, but... aww, babies.] Well, I just... I think you're dumb sometimes, but what's done is done, right? You've got to take responsibility no matter what. I won't let you be a deadbeat. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	codefive 2010-10-22 07:30 pm UTC (link)
	You are right. There is no going back now and there is only one thing that I can do. I don't know if I will marry her and children are born out of wedlock all the time. I want to talk to Konan about it... and, I want you to come over and have dinner with us and meet her. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	mizuwari 2010-10-22 08:35 pm UTC (link)
	Yeah. I want to meet her properly. And see how she is around you, if she loves you... she wants to have your baby so she must love you, right? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	codefive 2010-10-22 08:41 pm UTC (link)
	I think she wants a child of her own, not so much he love factor. When I brought up termination she said that she absolutely would not and she saw it as a life already. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)