Dear Dogs & Cats |
[09 Feb 2008|05:36pm] |
Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate does not stake a claim for it, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not required..
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:
To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don't. 2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it 'fur'niture.) 3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people. 4. To you, it's an animal. To me, they are adopted children who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.
Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
1. Eat less 2. Don't ask for money all the time 3 Are easier to train 4. Normally come when called 5. Never ask to borrow the car 6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends 7. Don't smoke or drink 8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions 9. Don't want to wear your clothes 10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and... 11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.
|
|
perception and assumptions |
[09 Feb 2008|07:38pm] |
So.... question.
I don't want this to turn into a debate. We all have our own beliefs for our own reasons. I am curious more about people's perceptions of other people's beliefs than their own.
Whether you are pro-choice or pro-life, please answer this question.
Do you believe (or associate) people who are pro-choice as 'pro-abortion'? Do you believe preserving the option to choose differs from personal beliefs about the morality of the issue? Or do you believe that all people who are pro-choice are also pro-abortion?
I am just curious what the general perception is there. It never occurred to me until recently that the two are often intertwined in people's minds as being one in the same.
|
|