Almost automatically, Josh wraps around Ava when he gets into bed. After a moment, the sleepy healer mumbles and stirs. "Mmm...Ava?" he asks, burying his face against Avalon's chest.

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Ava just gives another sniffle and buries his face in Josh's hair as his arms close tightly around the other boy. "Yea.. It's me.." he breathes out softly. Feathers close around Josh as well, cocooning the two in blankets and wings.

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"I know," Josh replies. "What's wrong?" he asks, hearing the sniffle and sensing the stress on Ava's body.

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"Just.. everything." replies Avalon in a soft gasp, before his body gives a temble and he clutches onto Josh for what seems dear life.

"School is really hard. The only thing that doesn't suck is my dance class." he says softly. "I just.. I just don't know this stuff, Josh. I'm so ill educated that it's like trying to keep afloat on a sinking ship."

He trembles again, then says even softer, in an even more sad tone, "That and.. I just don't feel like I belong anywhere. I don't belong on Naltor because I'm different from everyone else. I don't belong with the Blues because I'm so different from the rest of them.. I don't belong on Earth because I'm so different. About the only place that I do belong is inside this house, and even then I feel like I'm imposing."

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Josh looks up quickly, a concerned expression on his face. "Ava, you know Henry and I will help you with school work," he says.

He stares a moment and then frowns. "Why would you think that? YOu're not imposing on anyone. And you do belong here on Earth with the rest of us."

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"I keep telling myself that I"m not, but it doesn't change the fact that I still feel that way." replies Avalon softly. He then sighs, closing his eyes as he says "Josh, I barely know how to read and write Naltorian. Barely. My translator helps a lot with things - I've uploaded a dictionary and thesaurus to help me better understand but.. There are just some words that I don't understand even through my translator. And then the maths!" he shudders.

The mention of home makes him quiet, and in a very soft voice he says "I feel that I impose because I see how happy Henry is with you and Katima.. and he isn't that way with me. I know it's because.. in many ways he's been forced to accept me, where he accepted both of you our of his own free will.. But it's just something that I know he is keeping to himself, and the only reason I know is because I'm bloody empathic." he sighs, "And there's nothing to do but give him time. It's not like you can.. force.. this wort of thing on people."

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Josh sighs, holding tighter to Avalon. "Ava...it's not like I understand all the words," he says. "And math is a pain for everyone," he adds.

"He's happy with you too. I can tell," he whispers. "Ava..." he trails off, not sure what else to say. He's not good with this sort of situation. The healer just holds onto Avalon.

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"He's happy but he holds himself back." replies Avalon softly. His fingers start to move, to stroke and pet Josh as he seeks some sort of solace from Josh's presence. He is helping a great deal simply holding and listening.

"Sometimes I wonder.. why me." he then says softly. "Henry tried to tell me that I was somehow special because I'm so different. Sometimes I just wish that I had been given the chance to be just like anyone else. I will always be different. I will always be a child of two.. now three worlds."

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"Maybe because he doesn't want to upset you? Did you tell him how you feel now?" Josh asks quietly.

"We all ask that question, Ava," Josh says simply. "And he's right. You are special."

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Avalon then snorts and hides his face against Josh. "That's the problem." replies the boy, "He asked me to tell him and I was reluctant.. and it hurt his feeling so I went ahead and told him.. and now he's just intimidated. I didn't want to tell him anything. It doesn't help him feeling trapped if he hears me tell him stuff that's supposed to happen. It's like he doesn't get any choice."

"I don't want to be special, Josh! I want to have had a normal life with a normal childhood. I want to have had a best friend growing up and gotten to have a first kiss worth remembering and friends and.. and all this normal stuff. Josh, I'm not even sure if I know who I am myself anymore. I've never been.. able to relax like this. And just.. do nothing but dance all afternoon in the sunshine. This is like a paradise to me and I'm just at a loss!" he then says softly.

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Josh sighs. "Ava, tell him how you feel about him not about anything that's supposed to happen," he says softly.

He's quiet for a few moments before looking away. "I'm sorry, Ava...but we don't get a choice in whether or not we have to be special, he murmurs. "I never asked or wanted to be what I am either but I am," he says, eyes a little wet. "I know who you are. Avalon...Blue Lantern, defender of hope and life, amazing dancer, wonderful person, great friend, cherished lover..." he trails off, holding tighter.

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Sighing, Avalon just gives Josh a tight hug. "I'm glad one of us knows." he replies in a soft tone. His lips press to Josh's brow, and Avalon turns concerned as he realizes that his distress has upset Josh.

"I'm sorry I woke you up with all of this." he whispers.

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"Ava..." Josh trails off again, keeping his face buried against Ava. "You know..." he murmurs.

"It's okay," he says simply, holding on tightly.

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In the morning, Avalon gets up and does his usual greeting of the sun and meditation. It helps center him and get him into a better frame of mind. Josh was right about many things - namely that Avalon shouldn't be so fearful. He still wants to talk to Henry though.. Maybe Henry has a good suggestion to make.

So, Avalon waits for Henry to make his way down into the kitchen, idly cleaning and what not. He has plans to make pancakes though - Avalon has gotten good at pancakes.

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Henry comes downstairs, wearing his bathrobe. "Hey, Blue," he greets, moving towards the coffee pot.

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"Morning, Green.." replies Ava with a grin. he's already had coffee made, and in fact has had a couple cups himself. He's especially bouncy - caffeine really jitters him out.

"That was really nice of you to take Josh out like that yesterday." Ava says honestly. "He really had a good time, he's been glowing all day and night.."

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Henry smiles. "I wanted to share it with him. I want to take you eventually, too," he adds. He pours himself a cup of coffee. "Dad already at work, or is he sleeping in?"

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"He left while I was greeting the sun." replies Avalon softly, his expression mild. The mention of being taken along makes him nervous though, and Avalon gives Henry a sheepish smile as he slides up to the other boy's side and plucks at the sleeve of his bath robe.

"Be patient with me? Stuffing myself down into such an enclosed space is.. why it bothers me so much when I think about it. I get claustrophobic sometimes.."

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"I'll be patient," Henry replies with a smile. "It's important to me, but I want you to be able to enjoy it. That's the whole point." He sips his coffee and heads for the pantry. "What do you want for breakfast today? And do you want to give me a hand again?"

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"Thank you, Henry." says Avalon softly before he grins. "I actually had stuff out to make pancakes." replies Avalon then, and he follows after Henry, peering into the pantry. "I was going to try and surprise you, but you can make them if you really want."

He then bites at his lower lip and says "I uh.. also had something I wanted to talk to you about.. going on with me."

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Henry turns, still-somewhat-bleary eyes noticing the pancake mix out. "No, if you want to make them... I don't mind." He pulls up a stool and sits on it, facing Avalon. "What's going on? You need help with something?"

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"i don't know if it's something you can really help with," says Avalon with a nervous laugh. "I mean.. I don't know. I just feel so lost right now.." He steps over to the counter and grabs the mix and what not, starting to mix milk and eggs and what not together as he speaks.

"I just.. I don't feel like I know who I am anymore. I'm going through some sort of.. something and it's quite distressing." he admits.

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Henry, remarkably... says nothing.

He just listens, his eyes sympathetic.

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Bolstered by Henry's lack of a negative response, Avalon gives the other boy a shy glance and then tires to explain.

"I.. wasn't allowed to play with other kids while I was growing up. I wasn't allowed to date or go to school or really do anything that I wanted to do.. I was always serious. I didn't joke, I didn't laugh.. Flying was really my only joy.. until two years ago." Avalon says softly. "And even then, after I was chosen by Sister Sercy to be her inductee.. I wasn't free the way I am here."

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Henry nods, but he stays silent.

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