"Just.. everything." replies Avalon in a soft gasp, before his body gives a temble and he clutches onto Josh for what seems dear life.

"School is really hard. The only thing that doesn't suck is my dance class." he says softly. "I just.. I just don't know this stuff, Josh. I'm so ill educated that it's like trying to keep afloat on a sinking ship."

He trembles again, then says even softer, in an even more sad tone, "That and.. I just don't feel like I belong anywhere. I don't belong on Naltor because I'm different from everyone else. I don't belong with the Blues because I'm so different from the rest of them.. I don't belong on Earth because I'm so different. About the only place that I do belong is inside this house, and even then I feel like I'm imposing."

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Josh looks up quickly, a concerned expression on his face. "Ava, you know Henry and I will help you with school work," he says.

He stares a moment and then frowns. "Why would you think that? YOu're not imposing on anyone. And you do belong here on Earth with the rest of us."

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"I keep telling myself that I"m not, but it doesn't change the fact that I still feel that way." replies Avalon softly. He then sighs, closing his eyes as he says "Josh, I barely know how to read and write Naltorian. Barely. My translator helps a lot with things - I've uploaded a dictionary and thesaurus to help me better understand but.. There are just some words that I don't understand even through my translator. And then the maths!" he shudders.

The mention of home makes him quiet, and in a very soft voice he says "I feel that I impose because I see how happy Henry is with you and Katima.. and he isn't that way with me. I know it's because.. in many ways he's been forced to accept me, where he accepted both of you our of his own free will.. But it's just something that I know he is keeping to himself, and the only reason I know is because I'm bloody empathic." he sighs, "And there's nothing to do but give him time. It's not like you can.. force.. this wort of thing on people."

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Josh sighs, holding tighter to Avalon. "Ava...it's not like I understand all the words," he says. "And math is a pain for everyone," he adds.

"He's happy with you too. I can tell," he whispers. "Ava..." he trails off, not sure what else to say. He's not good with this sort of situation. The healer just holds onto Avalon.

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"He's happy but he holds himself back." replies Avalon softly. His fingers start to move, to stroke and pet Josh as he seeks some sort of solace from Josh's presence. He is helping a great deal simply holding and listening.

"Sometimes I wonder.. why me." he then says softly. "Henry tried to tell me that I was somehow special because I'm so different. Sometimes I just wish that I had been given the chance to be just like anyone else. I will always be different. I will always be a child of two.. now three worlds."

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"Maybe because he doesn't want to upset you? Did you tell him how you feel now?" Josh asks quietly.

"We all ask that question, Ava," Josh says simply. "And he's right. You are special."

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Avalon then snorts and hides his face against Josh. "That's the problem." replies the boy, "He asked me to tell him and I was reluctant.. and it hurt his feeling so I went ahead and told him.. and now he's just intimidated. I didn't want to tell him anything. It doesn't help him feeling trapped if he hears me tell him stuff that's supposed to happen. It's like he doesn't get any choice."

"I don't want to be special, Josh! I want to have had a normal life with a normal childhood. I want to have had a best friend growing up and gotten to have a first kiss worth remembering and friends and.. and all this normal stuff. Josh, I'm not even sure if I know who I am myself anymore. I've never been.. able to relax like this. And just.. do nothing but dance all afternoon in the sunshine. This is like a paradise to me and I'm just at a loss!" he then says softly.

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Josh sighs. "Ava, tell him how you feel about him not about anything that's supposed to happen," he says softly.

He's quiet for a few moments before looking away. "I'm sorry, Ava...but we don't get a choice in whether or not we have to be special, he murmurs. "I never asked or wanted to be what I am either but I am," he says, eyes a little wet. "I know who you are. Avalon...Blue Lantern, defender of hope and life, amazing dancer, wonderful person, great friend, cherished lover..." he trails off, holding tighter.

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Sighing, Avalon just gives Josh a tight hug. "I'm glad one of us knows." he replies in a soft tone. His lips press to Josh's brow, and Avalon turns concerned as he realizes that his distress has upset Josh.

"I'm sorry I woke you up with all of this." he whispers.

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"Ava..." Josh trails off again, keeping his face buried against Ava. "You know..." he murmurs.

"It's okay," he says simply, holding on tightly.

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"Well.. and you are precious to me. I didn't know who else to go to." replies Avalon. "I've not had the time to know Katima as I do you, and I can't go to Henry about this.."

He sighs, then shifts so that he can see Josh's face, which he offers a quite bright and adoring smile. "Thank you.." he murmurs.

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Josh squeezes just a little tighter at the winged teen's first words. He closes his eyes a moment and then hides his face against Avalon's neck for a moment.

"Thank you," he says, smiling slightly.

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It is quite possible that Avalon thinks that Josh is for snuggles and adoration. Or something like that. He quite happily curls around Josh, a smile on his lips and he reaches out to lightly stroke his fingertips along Josh's face.

"You're welcome, though you don't need to thank me." he says softly.

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Josh squirms a little as the fingers on his face. "You're welcome...and yes I do," he says. "You're all too nice to me...too good..." he trails off, hiding his face against Ava again.

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"How am I too nice to you?" asks Avalon seriously. "You're a special person to me.. I wasn't allowed to have any girlfriends or boyfriends when I was a kid; I wasn't allowed to play with other kids.. You're my first real best friend in my whole life, and I also just so happen to be absolutely crazy about you.. You've had such a hard time of things, I just want to protect you from anything that might pain you.."

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"That's what I mean," Josh murmurs, ears red.

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Avalon gives a snort, then pokes at Josh's side with a gentle finger. "Stop it." he murmurs. "Is it such a bad thing that you are loved? I know that the situation that we all find ourselves in is.. different.. But I would not change a thing. I feel blessed beyond belief to be here with you and Katima and Henry."

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Josh squirms again and offers a little whine. After a few moments he squirms again. "Love you."

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Ava gives Josh a playful nip on the ear, and then hugs on him tightly. "I am sure all will be well, Josh.. I just need to figure out who I am again. I'm not the same serious kid who I used to be, or even who I want to be when in uniform, still.. "

He sighs, his head falling forward to bonk against Josh. "I'm eighteen and I'm having an identity crisis." he says. "Then again, when I came to Earth, I was Avalon N'turi.. now I am Avalon Jordan. But.. just who is Avalon Jordan?"

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"Ow," Josh squeaks, turning a quick pout up at Avalon after the nip and bonk. With a shrug, he snuggles back against Ava. "I already told you."

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"Yea, but that doesn't answer a lot of other questions I have." replies Avalon softly. He then sighs, and says softly "I'm so afraid of making friends at school.. what if they find out that I'm an alien. Then what?"

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"If they're really your friends it won't matter to them what you are," Josh says simply. "Don't be so afraid. That's for those yellow guys. You're blue. All will be well," the healer says, kissing Ava's chest softly.

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"You're right.." murmurs Avalon softly. He smiles to Josh, and draws the other boy's face back up towards his own lips and presses a gentle kiss to Josh's lips.

"All will be well, I just need to hold onto my faith.." he sighs softly.

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Josh returns the kiss softly and then gives Ava's side a little tickle. "No more sighing. Sleepy snuggle time."

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The tickle makes Avalon squirm, and he presses to Josh a bit more before he relents. "Alright.. alright.. no more sighing.." he agrees, gasping for breath.

Then, he yawns a bit, realizing how sleepy he really is now that Josh mentions it. "Sleepy snuggle time indeed.. I'm so glad that we share a room.."

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