Hope Burns Bright - Touching Base
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Touching Base
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"I have one of those too, though I have no idea who Emerson is or know where to start with one of his poems." replies Avalon. He slides into the room and flops onto the bed, rolling onto his stomach and props his chin up with a hand.
"Bacchus sounds interesting, but the research required just for me to understand it is a bit daunting. I'm having to read mythology." he says idly.
"I can help," Henry offers. "I don't mind."
He pauses another moment, finishing typing, and smiles. "There we go."
"I can figure out Emerson - it's not my first priority right now." replies Avalon. "I mean - sure.. I can have some help with it, it'll make it a lot easier in the end, but.. I've had enough ancient human mythos.. it's insanity at times!"
He then rolls onto his back, his head half hanging off the side of the bed as he looks at Henry upside down and he asks "Since you've spoken to Katima the most recently.. what's up with the guy who fell out of the sky?"
He sighs. "I think I need to take him out for a bit, I think. Do a smell-test." He leans back, putting his hands behind his head. "He used to be Kat's boyfriend, back when she was getting trained on Okaara."
"I don't trust him. He's obviously royalty and it shows by the way he treats everyone." replies Avalon honestly. "Katima may have fallen in love with him way-back-when, but who he was and who he is now could be two completely different people." murmurs Avalon.
The Naltorian raises a hand, his fingers threading through his hair and scritching at his scalp as he says "I've been trying to keep my mouth shut on it all, but I also didn't like how she asked us to go against protocol. For no real reason other than Loverboy wanted it."
Henry nods. "I'm not comfortable with that either. A couple of pirates, I'm willing to let go this one time. For Kat, though, I'm okay with this for the moment." He moves to sit next to Avalon on the bed. "Same way I'd trust you or Josh, if you requested me to do something."
"The problem is that letting them go wasn't any of our calls, they should have gone back to Oa. You and I know this.. and I'm sure Kat does too, but it doesn't matter because her beloved Alerron asked." replies Avalon. "And if she's going to ask this of us now, then I'm made uneasy thinking what else may come."
He sighs then, and offers Henry a wide smile as he says "I struggle with my distrust of others. It's a flaw I know that I must conquer, it's just hard to let go of. It's kept me alive this long."
"Probably a good thing," Henry acknowledges, patting Avalon on the back. "I mean, we leave this up to me, and I bring home every stray for lightyears."
That causes Avalon to snicker, and he eyes Henry with open amusement. "I think that I would qualify as one of those strays.. though I prefer to think of it all as you having a big open heart. You can't resist a pair of big sad eyes.."
That thought causes Avalon to laugh softly, and he sighs before he then murmurs "I hope this Alerron thing doesn't blow up in our faces. All will be well, I know.. I just more am dreading more complications before it is well."
"We'll be okay," Henry smiles, running his fingers through Avalon's hair. "We've got each other to rely on."
The feel of fingers through his hair makes Avalon murmur a low noise. His eyes then drifted shut for a moment, his lips curling into more of a smile as he said "Yea.. we do.." he then cracked an eye open and eyed Henry for a second before he said seriously "You do realize that you had your chance to get rid of me? I have no intentions of going anywhere else."
He smiles, rubbing the back of Avalon's neck. "I wouldn't have it any other way, Blue. I didn't pick you at first... but I'm glad you're here and wouldn't have it any other way."
"Yea.." replies Avalon with a bit of a crinkle to his nose. "I can imagine how.. trapping that felt." He sighs a bit and turns toward Henry, his expression thoughtful as he said "I never felt that way, but then again after what my mother told me I didn't worry.. I just gave it all up to the universe and trusted that all would be well."
Blue eyes sweep up to Henry's face, and Avalon murmurs "Thank you though.. for not flipping out on me over.. all that."
He brushes Avalon's hair out of his face, then smiles. "It made sense. I wasn't in a place to hear it."
He looks down at Avalon. "Is there anything else you've been wanting to tell me, but haven't?"
Now THAT question makes Ava's face flush a bit, and he seems to really have to think that over. "Your question puts me at a disadvantage, Henry. I do not wish to lie to you, but at the same time.. I question if now is the time for me to say it."
His teeth worry his lower lip for a moment, and he finally sits up a bit, and reaches out to press his palm to Henry's chest. Henry's soft touches weren't just enough to establish a connection for him, despite how wonderful they felt on his skin.
"I know that you are still uncertain about how you feel about a lot of things." he then says softly, his eyes closed as he lets the connection hum through him. "I have found that my place is to simply stand back and support you, and invariably you find your way to me on your own. I do not wish to say too much and make you feel.. pressured."
Henry considers this. "If... you can't trust me enough to tell me right now... I understand."
He's hurt, but he's trying hard not to show it.
Avalon simply smiles, his eyes opening as he shakes his head gently to Henry's words. "That's not that, Henry. That's not it at all." he then says softly.
Trying to find the right words, Avalon draws in a deep breath, his expression uncertain as he says softly "Henry, I know where I will die - many years from now - and I know that I will live my life at your side. I know that we will grow old together, and that I will never see Naltor again without you with me. Earth is my home - it has been since I was bid to come here to you."
He shivering a bit, his cheeks stained pink as he says "I know this is all hard for you; that you may not wish to feel that your future is so plotted out and that you are trapped.. I want you to.. to decide that you want that future on your own without the pressure of.. of.." he swallows, then forces it out, "Without the pressure of knowing that I've loved you since before I met you."
Henry blinks.
Without thinking, he takes the hand that's been brushing Avalon's face, and uses it to run his fingers through his hair -- which might be interpreted as retreating somewhat from Avalon.
"Wow. Um... wow, Blue. What... I'm not sure what to say to that."
"Yea... That was why I didn't want to tell you." whispers Avalon softly. "I just.. can't lie to you."
If Henry needs to withdraw, Avalon lets him. He doesn't withdraw himself, but he carefully folds his hands into his lap and gives Henry an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry for bringing something so heavy upon you."
"No, no..." He rubs his face. "It's just... unexpected." He reaches out. "Um... I know Josh says he loves us. And you say you love me... and I..." He breathes out, releasing stress.
"I'm trying to figure out what that word means."
Avalon lets himself be drawn into Henry's arms, his eyes falling to half mast. If Henry knows it or not, Avalon is trying to help him figure out his emotions.
"Why are you worrying so much about the meaning of a word?" he then asks as he slides up to Henry's side, his cheek coming to rest on the other boy's shoulder. "You've said it many times to Josh and me in the past.. Love is just the name of the emotion, Henry.." he smiles a bit, his hand pressing to Henry's chest again, "You already feel it. You shouldn't worry so much.."
"It's a big word," he says. "I don't want to hurt you guys by saying something that I don't know whether or not I mean."
"it is.. but I guess for me.. it's not the end all, be all between us." replies Avalon. He then smiles a bit, his smile bright as he says to Henry, "I forget that for you.. you can not feel what I feel. That you must say and tell others and that by saying it, it makes it true."
"Do not think that you must rush yourself on my account, Henry." he then says softly, "I am content to wait however long you feel you must take."
"I'll say this:" he says gently, reaching back out to grasp Avalon's cheek. "You are very important to me. And I'm glad to have you with me."
From: | (Anonymous) |
Date: | July 30th, 2012 11:18 pm (UTC) |
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