Revisions
Like the other application, at this time we'd like to see some revisions done before we can accept this application.
First among these, as will Cassa, we've both agreed that we want to see a bit more. Particularly for the descriptions and attire. I know she has one missing finger, but is that all? Does she walk funny, does she dress a certain way? How many layers of clothing does she wear, etc. The more the better.
Secondly we are a bit concerned at how similar Honesty is to Cassa. We'd like to see you define this character, and give her a bit more of her own personality. We do not need you to completely rewrite her, but if you could give her a bit more 'umph' that would be great!
Lastly, Honesty's history has a lot of ideas crammed into a rather short, rushed story. It gives us very few details on what shaped her, and how it all led to her being this mistrusted and suspicious of everyone around her. Since she is an original character, her history is much more important than a character's from a story, and as such we need to know more details. If you could flesh it out, and perhaps narrow down the focus of the story, it would be a great help to us in coming to understand her character more.
Like Cassa's application, feel free send us a link to the revisions when you've completed them.
Thank you again,
- Black Forest Mods
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