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[27 Jan 2008|02:21pm] |
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I'm an idiot. I kind of started to think that my ex had grown up a bit, but he really hadn't. We dated tow years ago, but it ended up seeming more like we were friends with benefits since he would tell me he'd call me and then he never did.I would go weeks without seeing or hearing from him. Plus, he was a bit annoying. But two years later he's less annoying and just seemed to have grown up a little. So when he tried to kiss me last week, I kissed him. Just a little kiss though. Then we kissed a few times after that. Then as I was passing him at the bar last night he grabbed me and gave me this huge long kiss. Which was followed by suggesting we go have sex a few minutes later. It really pissed me off. I didn't even know what to say. It's hard for me to say "well I like you and I don't want to move that fast" especially when it seems all he wants is sex. I sent him a text saying "did it ever cross you mind that I might actually like you?" when I left. His reply was "yea kinda" so I said "I guess you haven't changed over the past two years then" which resulted in him calling me and then I had no clue what to say. I just listened to him talk and he said dumb shit like "well if it bothers you that I joke about us having sex then I won't do it" and "well you had sex with my friend a few weeks ago". Yeah, I did and that was a huge mistake. I actually liked his friend too, and it turned out he was a jerk, but I'm not going to tell him that.I basically told him I didn't want us to end up like we were before where he'd say he'd call me and then I wouldn't hear from him weeks. Then he told me he had to go and that he'd call tomorrow, he 'promised'. I'm not expecting to hear from him today and I really don't want to hear from him. I'm just not the kind of person who likes to share their feelings. I'm not going to put myself out there like that. If he likes me then he should respect me and not try and sleep with me, and not go hit on some other girl when I got mad at him (like he did last night).
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