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I dumped the guy I was with for this new guy, and I've been avoiding writing about it because I feel pretty shitty about it. But my ex isn't really upset so I guess it was for the best. He was a nice guy, but the thing is, we hardly spoke. We just didn't really connect mentally. Then I met this guy who was brilliant, and funny, and sexy, and he just reminded me of the kind of guy I really should be with. I honestly thought nothing would come of it. He'd asked me out, but I figured he'd stand me up or I'd find out he was a jerk, but the more I get to know him the more I like him.

We're taking things slow, which is what my ex and I said he wanted to do and then we ended up sleeping together on our first date, and he was telling me he loved me after a few days. It was fucking weird. I guess he didn't love me too much because he didn't care much when I broke up with him. This new guy is sticking with the slow thing though, at least to an extent. We went on our 4th date last night at which point all we'd done is kissed at the end of the night. Last night we made out, and ended up giving each other oral sex, but he said he didn't want to have sex with me the first time we "did stuff". I'm okay with this. I really shouldn't rush into things with guys, but my problem is that when I'm attracted to someone, and I like their personality I kind of stop thinking. I'm happy to take things slow though. It makes me feel like this might actually last a while.At the same time though, it makes me feel like he doesn't like me that much. Just because I'm used to guys being all over me.

I don't know though. I am kind of intimidated by this guy. He's brilliant, like highly intellgent, and I'm smart, but not that smart. I'm kind of just as smart as the average person, but I just happen to pick up a book or turn on the news every now and then. The guy I'm seeing now, is way above average intelligence. He start talking to me about things, and I just clam up. We talk a lot, but when he bring up like politics, then I just don't feel I have adequate knowledge to discuss things like that with him. I probably do, but I'd rather not say anything than seem like an idiot. Mostly we keep our conversation light though so this isn't a huge problem. I just have this feeling one day he's going to figure out I'm no where near as brilliant as he is and stop calling me.