Somebody had delusions of grandeur.

btw, caps lock gives me wood. Keep talking.

DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH WE BOTH KNOW THAT YOU LIKE BLOWING SMOKE

AMONGST OTHER THINGS

Damn.

Was it good for you, baby? <3

fuck you arthur showed me how to turn the caps off

thanks for nothing

A little late, but thanks for the enthusiasm. If you'd like round two, you'll have to wait. God, I'm not a machine, Walter.

is everything sexual innuendo with you

is NOTHING SACRED

It's not my fault that you want me so much that it laces itself in everything you say.

one of these days you'll get your head out of your ass long enough to see the world as it really is

you know

where youre actually a piece of shit and no one wants to fuck you as badly as you think they do, if at all ever

That's not what your daughter thinks.

[there's no response until walter walks into the basement, rails Alucard in the face, then walks back up the stairs.

five minutes later, a text message:]

excuse me did you say something

Round five?

[silence; the basement door opens and walter chucks the phone AT ALUCARD'S HEAD then slams the door shut.]

Bloody cocker.

[He rubs his head where a giant red spot is forming, calling after him.]

Come on, baby, I just wanna love you!

[He notices there's likely not going to be an answer and gives Walter's phone to Kevin, where they exchange dirty text messages for the next eight solid hours.]

A sandwich would be awesome about now, though.

Less bitchin more kitchen.